Hilarious Posts About Man Colds Just In Case Your Husband Hasn’t Already Mentioned He’s Sick 100 Times
The "man cold," or "man flu" in some dramatic circles, is the medical condition where the husband sits on the couch all day and demands an unlimited stream of chicken noodle soup served to him. Is it deadly? Yes, but only if he annoys his wife so much that she can't take it anymore.
Now that cold and flu season is upon us, get ready to absolutely roast the men in your life by showing them these hilarious posts about the dreaded man cold. Guys, we do care, just not that much.
When The Man Cold Turns Him Into A Baby
The man cold is known to present interesting symptoms, and one of them is developing the same thing Benjamin Button had. However, curiously, they don't look any younger or get a movie. They just act like a baby.
The Stages Of Man Flu
If you have the following symptoms you may be suffering from the common man cold. Don't worry, there is a cure, and it includes just going about your day and not complaining about it like your wife does whenever she's sick.
The Results Are In, Man Flu Is Worse Than Childbirth
Thank God Twitter went and solved it for us because we were really going around in circles about this debate. Man flu or childbirth: which is worse? There's been no way to tell before these brave men decided to share their experiences.
This Wife Who Couldn't Take The Snoring
Man cold misery loves company. If he's not sleeping because he's stuffed up, you're not sleeping because he needs you to get him Vic's. But if he's sleeping, you're not sleeping because his snores keep you up.
This Husband Who Was Having Nyquil Thoughts
This is the only stage of the man cold that's tolerable—the delusional one. Wives are rewarded for their patience and their work getting him his meals with some quality spacey cough syrup thoughts. I don't know honey, the zebra could be either white with black stripes or black with white stripes.
When He Suffers He Makes Sure We All Do
Batten down the hatches and call in the cows if your husband is sick because it's going to be one heck of a storm. He'll be coughing like a thunderclap and the entire family will be hiding in the cellar in case the whole house goes down under the weight of all the tissues he's used.
He's Got A Sore Throat? Better Prepare The Bedside Vigil
This is the sequel tweet to the one before by the dutiful @Mrs_JGPlus3 documenting her husband's sickness. Stay tuned and keep him in your thoughts because he's developed a sore throat.
Her Husband Survived The Night But...
@Mrs_JGPlus3 tells a Twitter audience waiting with bated breath that yes, he did survive the night. We all collectively exhaled in relief. The most difficult part may be over but we're still not out of the woods yet.
She Asked If She Should Bury Herself Or Bury Him?
A grocery list for when your husband's sick: tissues, Vic's, chicken noodle soup, some rope, and a balaclava. When the cashier asks about the rope and balaclava, politely remind them it's none of their business.
The Couch Is A Big Move
So when someone is sick, all we want is for them to just quarantine themselves in their room so it doesn't spread. But one of the trickiest symptoms of the man cold is the husband's desire to post up on the couch for the entire day in front of the TV and not wanting to move.
Her Husband Was Convinced She Needed To Start Planning The Funeral
When he gets the man cold, that's it. Break out the will, a notary, and a pen because you're going to need to finalize a few things. Honey, put me down for getting your comfiest sweater okay?
The Only Cure Is A Boy's Night
Nobody knows why, but the minute your husband realizes that they could be doing other fun stuff instead of being sick they magically get better. It's an ancient homeopathic cure and we're still mystified by its 100% success rate.
He Un-ghosted Her So He Could Complain About His Cold
Men will literally complain to anyone and everyone that they have a cold. That's why Twitter is littered with tweets about the infamous man cold. If they can't tweet about it then they'll hop on that dating app they ghosted you on to let you know how they're feeling.
When You First Get Married Versus After 20 Years
The thing about the man cold is that it becomes less pressing the more time goes on. You aren't going to treat man cold #1 like man cold #457. This thing depreciates in value and is a bad time investment.
She Was Contemplating If It Was Worth Doing Hard Time
Look, depending on the man cold and how badly he complains about it, the wife may be entitled to some kind of settlement. It's not usually worth committing a crime over, but hey, that's for her to mull over.
When You're Not Convinced He's Human Anymore
Men have the uncanny ability to think that other people want to hear their coughs, sneezes, farts, and burps, so they make no effort to suppress them or even cover their mouths. Hahaha, great noise Steve, nobody wants to throttle you at all.
Oh You're Sick Too? Well, My Man Cold Is Worse Obviously
Man colds have the interesting ability to get worse the minute you come down with something yourself. They have to make the husband the sickest in the house because they have to be the most important, obviously.
The World Stopped For This Pre-Sick Man But Not His Wife
If a husband breathes and feels a weird tickly sensation in his throat he's canceling the rest of his meetings for the week. But not tee time. He's fine enough for tee time. he just can't do the boring stuff because they agitate his cold.
The Man Cold Seems To Always Fall On Your Day Off
The man cold is mysterious in its workings. It seems to sense when you're having a day off and decides to strike your dad at that very moment, so you have to stay home and take care of them. Hahaha, funny how that happens.
The Man Cold Insult Works Across All Genders Apparently
Did you know women can get man colds? The funny thing is that they can only be diagnosed by a man who's experienced the man cold and who's vindictive about being made fun of. Her's is automatically way less worse though.
This Legendary Dad Roasts Son With The Man Flu Becuase We Need Allies Like Him
Men can be allies in the fight against the melodrama of the man cold too. Just look at this dad who absolutely roasted his son who came down with the illness on Twitter. This dad is out here doing the Lord's work, and more power to him.
Is This Sarcasm Or The Man Flu At Its Fullest?
The funny thing about the man flu is that when men hop on the sarcasm train we can never really tell how real they are about the whole thing. Are you with us or against us soldier?
She Has To Bake The Strudels By Herself Thanks To The Man Flu
The man cold heard that this woman had 100 things to do, including baking TWO strudels, and decided it was the perfect time to strike. We're holding a morning vigil in honor of this long-suffering girlfriend.
This Is How Ridiculous Caring For A Grown Man With A Cold Looks Like
If you're a fully grown man who insists on complaining endlessly about a common cold I want you to look at this photo for at least 20 seconds. Just take in how ridiculous it looks. Don't look away until you feel the urge to get off the recliner and get your own water.
This Man Who's Given Up And Wants Sweet Release
Here's a classic man flu post. He's sniffly so he posted on Twitter to let the world know. Fun fact: this Game of Thrones scene is from when Baratheon was mauled by a boar. Man colds carry the same amount of pain as that, obviously.
This Wife Who Made The Executive Decision To Go To The Bar
This next-level wife who's weathered her fair share of man colds made the educated decision to get the heck out of dodge. She's a true warrior and knows the importance of picking your battles. We salute you, Commander.
A Request For Peeled Grapes Will Land You In Jail For Inciting Violence
You ever been asked by a person to give them a bowl of peeled grapes? Actually, let me rephrase that question. Have you ever met an absolutely delusional psychopath with a death wish?
The Meta-Man Flu
She's cracked it. She's figured out where the man flu comes from and why it bothers women so much. It all comes down to one simple kernel of truth, and it's nothing a little Tylenol can fix.
This Guy Who Thought Being Self-Deprecating Cures The Man Flu
Just because you understand the man flu doesn't mean that you automatically don't have it. The man flu is a state of mind and this guy is consumed by it. Self-deprecating jokes can't save you from the clutches of the man flu.
Once You Show The Symptoms It's Already Too Late
The man flu is like a zombie sickness: once you're infected, all it is is a matter of time before you're done for. Someone pour a drink out for the man who sneezed today because he'll be gone by sunrise.
