We can’t all ghost ride the Wraith whenever we feel — some of us have to drop our kids off for soccer practice. If the closest you get to feeling the thrill of the road these days is going five over in a residential area in your Dodge Caravan, just know you’re not alone.
These parents got real and tweeted about how they really feel about always being their kids’ Uber driver. These superhero moms and dads will have you nodding your head and taking the aux chord back from your kid in solidarity.
It’s The Disney Playlist Or Nothing
Driving the kids around means listening to the music they like or you’ll catch a ton of flack from them for not playing the Frozen theme song 20 times in a row. Let it go kids!
The Future Is Now When You Don’t Want To Drive
Uber used to be for drunks and people going to the airport, but a life hack is knowing it can also be for kids so you can skip driving duty. Remember sweeties, five stars.
This Literal Dad Joke
Dads carpool. Dads also make dad jokes. The carpool is the perfect place to combine these two aspects of a dad’s life and confuse their wife just a little bit more.
We’ve All Been Tricked
If someone told you they wanted to carpool and you had no idea what that was, you’d immediately think back to Pimp My Ride. Xzibit, where are you hiding, we want some fish in this pool.
This… Is My Kid?
Carpools are a place full of tunnel vision adrenaline, and mistakes can and will be made. All you know is that you’re fighting traffic and other parents to get a kid home. Any kid, really.
The Generational Divide
One thing we can hold over our kids’ heads is that we were the ones who made the internet good. They can TikTok and meme all they want, but we made Grumpy Cat a star.
Patience Is Key, Oh My God Is It Ever
Sometimes, you wait so long in carpool lanes that you feel like you’re dying. They’ll have to bury you in your car because you’ve been stuck there so long your seat has become a part of you.
No Wet Wipe? Just Ignore The Last Kid’s Vomit
When you’re a fulltime carpool parent, you really can’t be held responsible for what goes on back there. If a kid sees something they don’t like then they can just close their eyes…
This Tragic Mistake
Sometimes doing a nice thing for your kids can mean doing yourself a disservice. Actually, that happens all the time, who are we kidding. Here are those Live Paw Patrol tickets honey. I’ll be sobbing beside you.
Parent Walk Of Shame
If you’re not driving kids around in your pajamas at eight am then you need to reevaluate your priorities. If you’re embarrassed then just put sunglasses on — they’ll never know that it’s you.
This Parent Who Achieved Nirvana
It’s tough seeing someone else live your dreams. We’re all jealous of the parent in the kiss n ride who’s kid is about to graduate. We want to be you so bad…
Excellent Way To Get Out Of Driving Duty
You’re definitely sick of the classic parent schtick where people always ask you to drive their kids around. Remember, the best excuses are always the best-disguised ones. Eventually, they’ll stop asking.
The carpool is the time for thinking things over. While you’re carting around five kids who won’t stop babbling about Peppa Pig, take a few moments and evaluate your life. Maybe cut Peppa out of it.
Do. Not. Do. This.
Here’s a simple rule that we can all follow without any major problems. All you have to do is drop the kids off in the carpool lane. Then you go home. That’s literally it.
And I Oop
You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. That’s just the way the driving cookie crumbles before it swerves away from a tiny bug.
Feeling Blessed Your Kid Has Good Taste In Music
We’re all sick of the same car playlist over and over again. When there’s a kid in the car who’s not requesting Taylor Swift’s Blank Space for every other song we feel God’s light on us.
Prioritizing Is Key To Driving
There are some things in life that are just a little closer to your heart than others and require delicate care. One of those things is how much cream to add to your first coffee of the day. Caramel… we want it looking caramel…
Do It For The Carpool Cutie
We’ve all dressed to impress. Just, sometimes it’s not the greatest moment to be doing it. At least you’ll look cute while you unload the pack of kids out of your minivan.
This Parent In Top Gear
Whip down those carpooling lanes like you’re stunting for Fast and Furious because hey, your heart’s beating fast and you’re furious that you’re up this early. Same thing.
Carpooling As Leverage
Driving screaming kids around is the only leverage you ever need for getting other people to do things for you. It’s an emotional battle when you feel a kid wet cough on the back of your neck.