These Thicc Fruits And Vegetables Are Absolute Units
These fruits and vegetables are dummy thicc and ready to provide some nutrients for all of us. They heard about standard shapes and sizes for nature's bounty and thought that that just wasn't it. Instead, they just kept on keeping on and it's a whole mood. Or meal, in this case.
There's nothing like going to the grocery store and seeing all the beautiful fruits and vegetables lining the aisles. Just know that there are some monsters lurking among them just waiting to be eaten. You should eat them quick too because they might try to nibble you back.
Did The Cabbage Grow In The Garden Or Did The Garden Grow Around The Cabbage?
Honey, this man who grew a 67lb cabbage shrunk the whole world because oh my God is this a husky veggie. I feel like this thing would just absorb us if we tried to touch it... Those leaves are vaguely menacing.
Do They Call Them Squash Because They Can Do That To Us?
So this helpful poster placed a ballpoint pen beside a squash just for reference and we definitely appreciate it because now we know exactly which vegetable is out to kill us. This massive thing looks like it'd do some serious vertebrate damage and really squash us if we let our guard down around the vegetable patch.
This Strawberry Just Flexed On Me
This tight berry is absolutely rippling and it's the last thing you expected to see this afternoon huh? It's not every day that we wake up anticipating that a berry is going to curl more than us at the gym, but hey, life is all about surprises.
This Cucumber Legitimately Doesn't Look Like It Was Grown On Earth
Okay, so we have questions for this pale, long cucumber. Did the cucumber printer run out of ink? Did an alien forget it here when they came for the day? We sincerely hope she doesn't eat this since it may start talking about its home world.
This Tomato Just Asked Me To Speak Up
This big tomato boy is the size of a literal bunch of bananas and we're thinking it deserves a new name because of this feat. We're thinking "Big Tom" because there's no way this tomato isn't known as that throughout its grocery store aisle.
This 2,051 Pound Pumpkin Is So Big It Needs A Parking Pass
How in this big ol' world did someone get this pumpkin to this "vegetable" competition? Yes, I say "vegetable" in quotations because this thing is more of a traffic stop than an edible thing. Honestly, they probably just built the competition around wherever this thing was.
This Potato Has The Veins Of A Bodybuilder
Whoever is the doctor to this sweet potato has the easiest job in the world since its veins are so easy to spot. We're curious if this thing is on the same stuff Armstrong and ARod were doing. Hey man, just be careful.
The Mushroom That Ate A Cat, Probably
Honestly, how else would a mushroom get this big unless it was growing on a cat or a deer? Okay, maybe that's not how mushrooms work but this could be a need breed. A "crushroom" if you will.
This Gourd Didn't Miss One Glass Of Milk
This baby is long. Seriously, this gourd heard about the magic growth powers of getting your daily calcium and it decided that that was the only regime it needed in its life. Look at it trying to hide amongst its small friends. Don't be shy lanky fellow.
Honestly, It's No Wonder He Thought This Cucumber Was A Melon
We've met our cucumber lord and savior when Twitter user @Camgelting tweeted, "my poor dad was so proud of the watermelon he grew... turns out it was a big cucumber." We would think the same thing because holy God is this cucumber putting major numbers on the scale.
This Husky Tomato Could Break A Window If You Threw It
Imagine explaining to your neighbor that the reason their window is broken is because your wild self accidentally harvested a tomato too hard and it flew through their glass. Can't do it because it's too improbable? Well, meet the thicc tomato that will realize that dream for you.
This Mushroom Could Insulate A Small House
This person found some au natural home insulation growing in the wild and thought they'd share with the class. Honestly, if I could find a mushroom like this in my backyard it would save me some serious coin on my next reno.
Idk Man, Those Vegetables Are Probably People In Disguise
This foolish little girl clearly hasn't watched Invasion of the Body Snatchers because she's standing there unaware that the gourds she's hugging are probably people in disguise. Just look. Did you see it move? It's breathing now, look at it.
This Man Who Breeds Champion Veg
We all know someone with the Midas touch in life. Now imagine you meet someone who turns everything they touch into giant vegetables. Is it a curse? My Italian grandmother would say otherwise.
The Carrot That Couldn't Care Less About Your Idea Of "Normal"
This thiccums of a carrot looks like a 10-pound dumbbell waiting to be curled. To humans, it's a frightening snack that there's not enough hummus in the world to make appetizing. But for the dog in this photo... well, he's ready to test the strength of his crunch.
The Turnip Who The Party Starts For When It Turns Up
This turnip just stared me in the eye and asked me where my beer fridge was because he wants to store his 24-pack. I reminded it that the party was only going to last a couple of hours. It said, "I know." The amount that this turnip turns-up is truly terrifying.
The Carrot That Could Plug A Dam
Carrots, correct me if I'm wrong, grow down. So why did this one decide instead to just start growing width-wise and turn into something that looks more like an industrial repair tool than a vegetable? The only reason could be that it just doesn't care-ot.
Jackfruit, More Like Jacked-Fruit
Here's a wild one for you, jackfruit are normally the size of two basketballs. So next time you complain that there's no "fresh" jackfruit at the grocery store and you can only find it from a can, just know that this is what you're complaining about. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth.
My Girl, From Experience I Know That That Is, In Fact, A Cucumber
This girl is in for the surprise of her life after she finds out that this healthy melon she's holding is, in fact, a cucumber. If the dad's experience teaches us anything it's that all oblong green vegetables are cucumbers until proven otherwise.
These Grapes Are Thicc N Juicy
This gaggle of grapes just stood behind my vehicle and helped me back out of a parking space without being asked because these puppies are large and in charge. They're full of juice and not afraid to show it and we respect their body positivity.
Swole Jackfruits Having A Cuddle Sesh
Also, who was the person who put these beasties out on the ready-to-eat shelf. These thiccums are most definitely not ready to eat. You have to first ask them about their nutrition macros, get them to tell you how many minutes of cardio they do per gym session, and then maybe eat them. They're tough health-nuts to crack.
We Recommend This Lemon Should Be Killed With Fire
Whether it's a child who doesn't say please or thank you or a cat that only responds to you when you shake the Whiskas bag, sometimes we've got to accept that we've created a monster. Just like this lemon... it's a real lemon.
These Blueberries Just Asked Me The Way To The Beach
You know what they say about a blueberry in the hand... actually, can you tell me because I've been distracted by these huge berries. Look at these guys! I'm astounded and now my frozen smoothie mix just won't taste the same.
They Froze This Blackberry Because It Was Too Powerful For Its Time
Like Captain America, this blackberry was too much of a unit to go on existing in its own time, so scientists froze it so it could wake up later in a world that might understand it. We understand you little berry... you're a tank.
This Strawberry Looks Like The Missing Link
This is the final straw... berry. This thing looks like it was caught on camera mid-evolution as it warped into its final form. What that final form is is a mystery that only time and Ancestry will tell.
The Banana That Kept On Keeping On Despite What The Bunch Said
Remember when your mom would ask you what you would do if your friends jumped off a cliff? Well, this banana would apparently be the first one to do a flip because it just does not care about what other people think.
Two Apples Walk Into A Bar
How do you like them apples? No, seriously, do you like them because there's so much of them and they're overwhelming the poor avocado that they're sitting beside. Honestly, I think they're bullies and the avocado should tell someone.
These Grapefruits Probably Broke The Tree
How exactly does one tree yield four chunky grapefruits of this size at the same time and stay alive? I think we're looking at the last grapefruit this tree ever bore because it looks like it poured its body and soul into these.
Honey, Do Not Stand Under The Papaya Tree
We know that standing under icicles can kill us, but the silent falling killer in this world is actually the papaya. These papayas look like they can crush your skull without even trying and we're in awe at their power.
You Don't Order This Sweet Potato At A Restaurant, It Orders You
There is nothing sweet about this sweet potato. This root vegetable would like to be known as a yam because it's way too tough for cutesy little names. Not even the plate it's on can understand or even support this yam's life.
