Tweets About The Chaos That Is Back To School Season

Ah yes, back to school season. A time for laughter, tears, Pinterest trends, and overall chaos. All summer you told yourself that this school year would be different, that you'd be the parent who always packs healthy lunches and never forgets to turn in a permission slip.

That first day of school rolls around and everything you planned goes completely out the window. Your kid who has never thrown a temper tantrum? He threw one as you were walking out the door. That new skirt your daughter picked out the night before? She hates it now. You have to be prepared for anything.

School Survival Guide

back to school #1 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean

If you ever want to test your survival skills and see if you make it through the apocalypse or the next sharknado, go to your local Target the day before school starts.

You and every other parent will be there trying to get everything off that list of school supplies that your kid's new teacher sent home, muttering to yourselves "I don't know why he needs separate notebooks for every subject as well as brand new markers but fine."

ADVERTISEMENT

No More Pinterest Trends

ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #2 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedad
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedad
ADVERTISEMENT

PSA to all mothers out there: enough with the tiny chalkboards and letter boards. Yes, it's a cute idea you saw on Pinterest that seems like a good idea now, but realistically you're not going to remember to do this every year from pre-school to grade 12 so you might as well quit while you're ahead.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, we all know that your five-year-old didn't write in perfect calligraphy that he wants to be a doctor when he grows up.

ADVERTISEMENT

Please Don't Be The Worst One

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #3 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thebabylady7
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thebabylady7
ADVERTISEMENT

There's a certain fear that comes with sending your kids off to school, especially if it's their first time. What if they're the worst behaved child? What if all the other moms judge you because your kid is the one that hit someone else on the playground?

ADVERTISEMENT

Or even worse, what if your kid ends up being... the teacher's pet. That would be the worst. Truly embarrassing for you as a parent.

ADVERTISEMENT

All You Want Is To Sleep In

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #4 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @UnfilteredMama
Photo Credit: Twitter / @UnfilteredMama
ADVERTISEMENT

For two months, your peaceful quiet summer vacation has been filled with children waking you up at all hours of the night or morning. All you wanted was to sleep in past 6:30 and to not be woken up by your daughter poking you in the face.

ADVERTISEMENT

Then these ungrateful children have the audacity to not get up for school despite you asking them repeatedly? How dare they do this to you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Pics Or It Didn't Happen

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #5 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter
Photo Credit: Twitter
ADVERTISEMENT

If you don't document your kids' first day of school and post it to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, did it even count? You might as well just not send them at all.

ADVERTISEMENT

It can be overwhelming for parents to try to pick out that perfect Pinterest-worthy outfit. It has to be just right, just enough color but also stylish enough that it might go viral. That's the goal in 2019, and if you don't meet it, you've basically ruined your child's entire school year.

ADVERTISEMENT

A Lesson In Responsibility

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #6 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @davissgracee
Photo Credit: Twitter / @davissgracee
ADVERTISEMENT

The key is to have your kids pack their own bags and lunches for school, and if they question why you're not doing it, tell them you're teaching them about responsibility. Responsibility is an important value to learn about at a young age, okay? It's all about how you spin it!

ADVERTISEMENT

Just supervise from a distance, and by "distance" we mean from the couch with your eyes closed while you nurse your second cup of coffee.

ADVERTISEMENT

A One Time Deal

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #7 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @momTruthBomb
Photo Credit: Twitter / @momTruthBomb
ADVERTISEMENT

Maybe you're one of those parents who goes hard for the first day of school and starts prepping two days before. Good for you! You managed to get all your kids out the door, on time, with all their lunches, and everyone's shoes were on the right feet.

ADVERTISEMENT

Don't fall into the trap of believing that every morning will be like this though. Two months from now you'll think back to this day and remember the long-lost calm you felt that day as you now listen to your two sons yell at each other about whose lunch bag is better.

ADVERTISEMENT

Never Trust Them

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #8 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
ADVERTISEMENT

Always remember to check your child's backpack. Always. No matter how good of a student they are, they will forget to tell you about an assignment or a permission slip for a field trip.

ADVERTISEMENT

Even if they say they don't have any homework, or that they "don't have any work for over the summer" don't believe them. It's a trap. Don't end up in a situation like Simon where he needs to help his child read 12 books in 24 hours.

ADVERTISEMENT

Do You Love Your Children Enough To Buy The Buttons?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #11 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
ADVERTISEMENT

School pictures are the time when parents learn how much they really love their children, and you learn who the favorite child is.

ADVERTISEMENT

You're either the parent who orders the bare minimum package where you get one wallet-sized picture and a 5x7 of each kid, or you're the parent who orders the full package for each kid that includes key chains, magnets, buttons, as well as multiple wallet-sized photos and 5x7s so you can have one for the office, one for your car, and six for grandma.

ADVERTISEMENT

Rush Hour

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #9 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @really10months
Photo Credit: Twitter / @really10months
ADVERTISEMENT

So you've managed to get everyone out the door, we don't need to talk about how many minutes later it was then you had planned, and now you're on the way to school. Then you get there and remember what you'd suppressed the entire summer: the chaos that is school drop-off.

ADVERTISEMENT

Someone's first grader is crying, which sets off two other first graders. Someone is running after their child whose backpack is wide open and everything is falling out.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Countdown Is Always On

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #10 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ScaryMommy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ScaryMommy
ADVERTISEMENT

It's not that you don't love spending every hour of every day with your children for two months straight (other than that one glorious week where you managed to send all the kids to summer camp), but it can be a lot. That's a lot of father-daughter bonding.

ADVERTISEMENT

After many hours spent listening to your sons fight over who gets to ride the bike and who gets to ride the scooter, and many hours of your daughter saying "I'm boooored," you're ready for them to go back.

ADVERTISEMENT

Every Season Is Germ Season

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #12 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @PetrickSara
Photo Credit: Twitter / @PetrickSara
ADVERTISEMENT

A new school year means dozens of new children for your kid to catch a cold from, which will then spread to your entire household. We're not even going to talk about the vaccination debacle, we're strictly talking about the flu and/or cold germs that every kid will catch at some point in the year.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also: head lice. If you get home that little slip of paper that says a child in your son's class may have head lice, it's time to prepare for the worst. Might as well just buzz all your children's hair off as a precaution.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's Always Wine O'Clock

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #17 tweet about wine
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
ADVERTISEMENT

"Back to school" should be its own brand of wine for every parent out there to purchase or for every parent to give to teachers at that first parent-teacher conference where you have to apologize for your misbehaving second grader.

ADVERTISEMENT

Whether you just got back from spending $300 on school supplies at Wal-Mart or you just had to sit through the third-grade talent show (where no one seemed to possess any real talent), a glass of wine is always warranted.

ADVERTISEMENT

Morning Entertainment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #13 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
ADVERTISEMENT

We'll say it louder for the people in the back: mornings are hard for parents! Mornings are peak chaos in any household, regardless of how organized you are.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sometimes you manage to shower and get yourself ready for work before any of your kids scream your name, other mornings you have two children interrupting you while you try to go to the bathroom. If you manage to get all your kids to school in the morning, who cares if you wore those yoga pants for the past four days. It's about priorities!

ADVERTISEMENT

Take All My Money!

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #14 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean
ADVERTISEMENT

Why are glue sticks and safety scissors so expensive? Seriously. No parent wants to shell out $100 for each kid to get a new backpack, folders, that sparkly pencil case every cool kid has plus mechanical pencils and every other thing on the school supplies list.

ADVERTISEMENT

You know two weeks from now your son is going to come home and say he lost that Spiderman pencil case you just bought him or your daughter will have lost that Peppa Pig lunch bag she begged for, but you buy it anyways.

ADVERTISEMENT

Thanks, But No Thanks Pinterest

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #15 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
ADVERTISEMENT

If you have time to make a Pinterest-worthy lunch for your kids every day, that's great, but if you don't, don't sweat it. Your son won't be offended if you don't make him a vegan bento box every day for lunch, he'll be happy with PB&J!

ADVERTISEMENT

Strive for healthy, sure. Toss in an apple or some carrot sticks, go crazy and toss in two fruits for all we care, but don't worry about it being perfect. You have bigger fish to fry.

ADVERTISEMENT

Don't Make It Too Obvious

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #16 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sarcasticmommy4
ADVERTISEMENT

Parents don't be surprised if your kids get offended that you started the "Back to School" countdown on day one of summer vacation. Try to hold off until the first month is done, or at least until day two of vacation. You can't let them know that you aren't absolutely thrilled to have them home with you all the time.

ADVERTISEMENT

Pro tip: start the countdown a week or two before they actually go back so then you can play it off as "I'm doing it to mentally prepare you, it's not for me."

ADVERTISEMENT

Extracurricular Activities Are A Scam

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #18 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SCVan
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SCVan
ADVERTISEMENT

On top of making sure he always has his trumpet with him, you'll also have to be responsible for either driving to school an hour earlier than usual or picking him up an hour later even though all his siblings catch the bus.

ADVERTISEMENT

Extracurricular activities in general are a trap. Instead, encourage your kids to be social outcasts and not join any after school sports, that way you never have to make sure they have their running shoes or their volleyball kneepads.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Sound Of Silence

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #19 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mjgaphillips
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mjgaphillips
ADVERTISEMENT

Every parent knows the best part about your kids going back to school is that even though it can be really stressful to get them out the door in the morning, once they've left, you get the house to yourself!

ADVERTISEMENT

Even if only half your kids are school-aged and you still have one or two little ones at home, it'll still be far more peaceful than the last two months were with all of them together.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Indifference Comes Quickly

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
back to school #20 tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
ADVERTISEMENT

By the end of week one or two, you're already at the point where your kids are sick of talking about school. They don't remember what they learned in History that day, and they definitely don't want to talk about what they learned in Math class.

ADVERTISEMENT

Luckily, you also didn't want to talk about what they learned in Math class, so it all works out for the best! You're living off the high of that back to school life, knowing that for 8 hours a day, your kids are someone else's responsibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

This Is A One Time Occurrence

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
makeup for school drop off
Photo Credit: Twitter / @shanSutherland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @shanSutherland
ADVERTISEMENT

You already know that you're going to be the parent who never has her hair or makeup fully done when she drops off her kids at school every morning, but you're determined to be that mom on the first day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let every other perky parent see how great and put together you are on that first day, then hope that that's the image that sticks with them for the rest of the school year.

ADVERTISEMENT

There's The Realistic Photo

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Screen Shot 2020-08-24 at 4.31.30 PM
Photo Credit: Twitter / @BertTheStrmtrp
Photo Credit: Twitter / @BertTheStrmtrp
ADVERTISEMENT

The problem with having teenagers—well, one of them—is that they remember what school is like. When your kids are little they forget what school is like over the course of the summer so you can convince them it's going to be great.

ADVERTISEMENT

Teenagers aren't going to fall for your same tricks. They know exactly what's going to be waiting for them inside the doors of that school, and they're ready to put up a fight.

ADVERTISEMENT

Practice Makes Perfect

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
practice for first day of school by muttering
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EverydayGirlDad
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EverydayGirlDad
ADVERTISEMENT

They say that you should practice in an environment that's similar to what the real-life thing will be, so it doesn't make sense to practice getting ready for school on a perfect day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Perfect days don't exist when it comes to back to school, so you might as well start practicing working in chaos. Throw in some yelling toddlers, a lost backpack, and two mismatched shoes for the most realistic morning environment.

ADVERTISEMENT

They Can Never Know The Truth

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
mom happy for back to school
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Parkerlawyer
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Parkerlawyer
ADVERTISEMENT

Even if a small part of you is sad to be sending them off to school for another year because it means they're growing up and becoming little fully formed people, a part of you is also thrilled.

ADVERTISEMENT

They don't need to know that you had a dance party in the car after they walked into the school without crying, but you can find joy in that moment. You can also take pleasure in coming home to an empty, quiet house.

ADVERTISEMENT

She Must Get The Attitude From Her Father

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
daughter with homework on first day upset
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MrsPlugg
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MrsPlugg
ADVERTISEMENT

When you see that your child has written something like this on her homework assignment you have two choices. Option one is you can tell her to erase and rewrite a proper answer because that's what you do in school.

ADVERTISEMENT

Option two, though, is you pretend that you didn't see it or you "forgot" to check it before she put it in her backpack because she's right. Who assigns homework on the first day?

ADVERTISEMENT

Set Him Up For Success

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
pack a lunch to make his friends jealous
Photo Credit: Twitter / @carriemelago
Photo Credit: Twitter / @carriemelago
ADVERTISEMENT

Every parent wants their kid to be the cool kid in school, or at least to be well-liked and have some good friends. It's a simple desire, you just want your kid to be happy.

ADVERTISEMENT

While you don't have control over what happens once he goes into the school, you can equip him with the tools he needs to succeed. In this case, fireworks and a Snickers bar would definitely impress a band of eight-year-old boys.

ADVERTISEMENT

They Grow Up So Fast Don't They?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
first day of school picture in grade 12
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KathyBuckworth
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KathyBuckworth
ADVERTISEMENT

As your children get older they luckily grow out of things like needing your help going to the bathroom or picking out their outfit for the first day of school, but new problems arise.

ADVERTISEMENT

Make sure you appreciate those years that he's happy to pose in his new shirt on the first day of school (even if he needed your help to change four times), because soon he'll be hiding from your camera.

ADVERTISEMENT

It Doesn't Count Unless There Are Pictures

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
first day photo on facebook
Photo Credit: Twitter / @alfageeeek
Photo Credit: Twitter / @alfageeeek
ADVERTISEMENT

You don't have to feel guilty about posting photos of your children all over your Facebook feed, but you also don't have to feel guilty if you choose not to.

ADVERTISEMENT

Half of your friends on Facebook are the same parents who you just saw at the drop-off in the morning anyway, so they already know what your kid looked like. Not posting on Facebook doesn't mean they'll take your parent card away permanently.

ADVERTISEMENT

You Did This To Yourself

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
bed time prep for back to school
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dishs_up
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dishs_up
ADVERTISEMENT

Every year you tell yourself that you're going to have a transitional period for your kids at the end of the summer so they can ease back into the mindset of getting up early and going to school.

ADVERTISEMENT

Unfortunately, you tell yourself this every year, but you continue to fail to actually implement it and you're left with a bunch of kids wide awake at 9 pm the night before school starts, and some very tired, cranky children the first morning.

ADVERTISEMENT

It Doesn't Get Any Better Than That

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
the first day of school was
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TomKingTK
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TomKingTK
ADVERTISEMENT

If your kid tells you that their day was "fine" that means it was a 6 or 7/10 which is a pretty solid day by our accounts.

ADVERTISEMENT

Just think, wouldn't you rather them tell you that their day was "fine" every time you ask them rather than them launching into a 30 minute rant the whole ride home about how terrible it was or how they never want to go back? Accept that "fine" equals good.

ADVERTISEMENT

That's What We All Say

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 14_40_09-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HousewifeOfHell
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HousewifeOfHell
ADVERTISEMENT

We all say we're going to get started on something once we have fewer distractions, but do we always follow up? In many cases, no, so that’s where I can sympathize with this lady.

ADVERTISEMENT

Social media is a fun place to hang out and waste time when you have other things to do. Can you blame her for wanting to post some tweets instead of cleaning the house a bit? It’s only going to get dirty again.

ADVERTISEMENT

Fight! Fight! Fight!

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 14_45_08-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thebabylady7
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thebabylady7
ADVERTISEMENT

Boys will be boys as they say. Competing for the better card is what the young boys like to do because one wants to be better than the other one.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, they're both under ten, so that allows them to have some more immaturity in them. As long as no one gets hurt over the colorful cards, this mom shouldn’t have much to worry about. Besides, they’re trying to be good in school so that’s a good enough reason to let them be.

ADVERTISEMENT

There's A Lot Of Sarcasm Here

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 14_50_23-Window
Photo Credit: Twiter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twiter / @ValeeGrrl
ADVERTISEMENT

Banana nut muffins are some of the best treats ever. If you make them vegan, then you're only getting more benefits from the tasty snack. This lady doesn’t seem to care much about all of that.

ADVERTISEMENT

As long as she has her Pop-Tarts (Costco-sized), then everything is going to be just fine. Maybe one day she’ll make the transition to vegan and question why she ever loved Pop-Tarts so much. Until then, bring on the sugar.

ADVERTISEMENT

What Did You Expect?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 14_53_49-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
ADVERTISEMENT

After spending months inside with your own children or other people, spending eight hours a day with growing kids could be a hassle. Asking for a sub on the first day doesn't seem too bad.

ADVERTISEMENT

If this teacher continues to ditch classes for recovery, then maybe a real vacation is in the works. You can’t have your students going too long without their real teacher. They might end up liking the sub more than the original.

ADVERTISEMENT

Both Are Free!

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 14_57_34-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @DadandBuried
Photo Credit: Twitter / @DadandBuried
ADVERTISEMENT

This was probably the moment these two waited for forever. The chance to stop going to school and stop having an immense responsibility that comes with being a father sounds golden on paper.

ADVERTISEMENT

Too bad this dad and son combo probably didn't get very far with their plan. I’m sure his wife wasn’t having any of that. If she saw them doing sprints away from each other, she’d probably lose her mind after realizing they aren’t playing a silly game.

ADVERTISEMENT

Amma Is Going Places

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 15_08_14-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @GlennonDoyle
Photo Credit: Twitter / @GlennonDoyle
ADVERTISEMENT

For kids, Christmas is one of their favorite times of the year. They get free stuff, they're on Christmas vacation, and they get to eat sweets! There isn’t much they could want.

ADVERTISEMENT

That’s why Amma here keeps that date locked in her mind to help her power through the day. She’s almost like an athlete dreaming about the championship. It’s the first day of school for her mom, but it’s one day closer to the presents for Amma.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Sign Of A Mother

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 15_27_03-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
ADVERTISEMENT

Only moms with kids in school can relate to this one. Even if you aren’t a mother with children, you can imagine this scenario in your head pretty perfectly. I can see the lunchbox waving in the air now.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is just an example of a great mother. Not caring who sees her their holes in their clothes. Their main mission is making sure their kid gets to school with everything they need, especially their food.

ADVERTISEMENT

Rookie Mistake

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 15_15_09-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
ADVERTISEMENT

When doing the dishes around the kids during school season, you should never leave anything wet after doing the dishes. At any moment the kids can take out a form you need to sign and place it in a wet spot.

ADVERTISEMENT

They don't look that hard to know there’s a giant puddle there. They just want you to sign their permission slip so that they can join their friends on the field trip. Keep the counters dry.

ADVERTISEMENT

She's Got A Point

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 15_02_32-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @slackmistress
Photo Credit: Twitter / @slackmistress
ADVERTISEMENT

Whenever kids complain, they have no idea what it's like to live in the real world. They think video games and their friends are all they need. Then they grow up and become like this lady.

ADVERTISEMENT

You can either keep looking at life the way she is, or find something to embrace. If she keeps this up, she'll be more depressed than Pooh’s friend, Eeyore. That’s the last thing you want from life, so I hope she gets it together.

ADVERTISEMENT

There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
2020-08-24 15_21_26-Window
Photo Credit: Twitter / @2questionable
Photo Credit: Twitter / @2questionable
ADVERTISEMENT

One person likes to stay prepared because if you stay ready, you won't have to get ready. Then you have the one who waits until the last minute so stress can rise.

ADVERTISEMENT

Maybe, some people perform better under pressure. Maybe, folks don’t like being ahead of the curve when you easily can be. There’s no right or wrong way to back to school shopping, but the most painful way is waiting until the last minute.