Husbands Who Are Probably Sleeping On The Couch Tonight

Husbands are a special breed. They try their best, they really do. But their best isn't always good enough, and sometimes you end up with their finger in your drink or with all of your guest towels stained pink.

They can't be trusted to fold a fitted sheet, and some of them are out there in the world thinking it's okay to microwave a t-shirt, but we love them anyway. Their listening skills may not be up to par, but there are other reasons you love them!

Not Exactly What She Was Hoping For

wedding photo fail
Photo Credit: imgur
Photo Credit: imgur

Imagine asking your husband to take a picture of the two of you on your wedding night and this is the only picture he takes. He looks happy and she looks... well, we can't see how she looks, but we can guess how she's feeling when she saw the photo later.

This is a solid start to the marriage. Ladies remember to always teach your man to take more than one picture. It increases your chances of getting a half-decent one where you can see both of your faces!

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Congrats On Your Birth

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happy birth bag
Photo Credit: Reddit / MangoBlisters
Photo Credit: Reddit / MangoBlisters
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If it's anything to do with gift-giving, your husband probably can't be trusted, which is what this woman learned the hard way when she sent her husband to buy a gift bag for a baby shower.

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Imagine this man standing in the store looking at the 'Happy Birthday' bags and rather than walking two steps further down the aisle to where the baby shower decorations probably were. Instead, he chose this one. Incredible.

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Return To Sender

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husband fail for buying tampons
Photo Credit: Instagram @mrs_tonya_b
Photo Credit: Instagram @mrs_tonya_b
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Another thing that they cannot be trusted with is buying tampons. We've all seen the memes and jokes on Twitter about husbands or boyfriends who don't know the difference between the sizes or brands, but this woman has to live that meme.

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If any man thinks that "scrub buddies" is a brand of tampons, it's time to get rid of them. They're not worthy, you know you're better than that.

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He Didn't Even Try

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loading the dishwasher completely wrong
Photo Credit: Reddit / @soundworks789
Photo Credit: Reddit / @soundworks789
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No matter how many times you show them or correct them, your husband will never load the dish washer properly. It's never going to happen, but you can take comfort in knowing every other spouse is going through the same thing with their husband, over and over again.

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It looks like whoever loaded this dishwasher has just given up hope altogether. There are dishes stacked inside other dishes, and there's even a Tupperware with the lid still on! Absolute chaos.

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Always Give Specific Instructions

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did you say carrot or carat?
Photo Credit: Instagram / @leebradah
Photo Credit: Instagram / @leebradah
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This wife asked for a 2-carat ring for her anniversary present, and that's exactly what she got. Never leave room for interpretation when it comes to your husband. You need to give specific, clear instructions, preferably with a diagram included just in case.

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Make sure to give instructions that will be clear to him too, otherwise you'll end up getting a dollar store ring with two carrots shoved through it as a present.

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Oh You Think You're Funny?

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clever husband puts pasta on the stove
Photo Credit: Twitter / @wendyrollins
Photo Credit: Twitter / @wendyrollins
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"Last night I asked my husband to put some spaghetti on the stove so I could start dinner when I got home."

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This man must've thought he was hilarious. He probably chuckled to himself as he took the handful of pasta out the bag. What we want to know is how many years into their marriage are they and how many times has he pulled this joke? Also, has his wife ever actually laughed at it?

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Grounds For Divorce

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just one bite of every donut
Photo Credit: Instagram / @karameows
Photo Credit: Instagram / @karameows
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This is a power move. This is definitely not what this man's wife meant what she said "do you want to try these?" She didn't mean take a bite out of every single one, but again, she didn't give clear enough instructions. Leave nothing to interpretation!!

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We're pretty sure a judge would grant you a divorce if you said you wanted one because your husband took a singular bite out of every single one of your donuts.

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Who Raised This Man?

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a bathroom heathen
Photo Credit: Instagram / @tara.brostek
Photo Credit: Instagram / @tara.brostek
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What kind of absolute madman is this woman married to? There is a man out there — walking around in our world pretending he's normal — who thinks it's acceptable to leave the toilet paper like this. This is not a narrative we want any part of.

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This right here is a prime example of why you should always live with someone before you marry them and are legally committed to them. You need to know about stuff like this ahead of time.

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She's In Tip Top Shape

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husband hangs mirror that's way too tall
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
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"Irreconcilable differences" actually just means "our heights are too far apart." This 5'1" woman asked her husband who is 6'2" to hang a mirror for her, but he didn't take into account that she is a literal foot shorter than him. How can she be expected to live like this?

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It seems like one clear way around this issue would be a full-length mirror. Seems like it would solve all your problems, but to each their own!

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Laundry Day Can Be A Roller Coaster Of Emotion

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battle of the fitted sheet
Photo Credit: Reddit / Cradnee
Photo Credit: Reddit / Cradnee
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This husband was defeated by a fitted sheet, just like numerous men before him were, and numerous after him will be.

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There's a secret art to folding a fitted sheet that very few people understand, and making this poor man try without any guidance seems like a punishment more than a household task. It could've been a passive-aggressive task from his wife for something he didn't even realize he had done, or maybe she just didn't want to fold it.

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Nailed It

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stir my drink, but not with your finger
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MichaelanneMc
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MichaelanneMc
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This is definitely not what Michaelanne wanted or expected when she asked her husband to stir her drink for her. That's marriage though! Having a husband means you have to expect the unexpected at all times.

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Every day is an adventure where he might stick his finger in your drink. He has to keep you on your toes so you don't get bored of him. We hope this husband was nice enough to at least wash his hands before this.

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Build Your Own Dream Home

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a little extra space in the kitchen
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RDODanielE
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RDODanielE
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The classic home renovation husband fail. This man's wife asked him for a little extra counter space in the kitchen, but this was not what she meant.

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Women just have to accept that not all men are handy, and you might have to be the one in the relationship who knows how to fix the sink or dryer. It's 2019, wives can be the handy ones! Looks like this wife wasn't given much of a choice.

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Burn Baby Burn

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burn baby burn blackened dinner
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jackpalmerwhite
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jackpalmerwhite
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"When you attempt a nice 'welcome home' breakfast for your wife and turn the oven to grill instead of fan..." At least he was trying to do something nice?

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Maybe this husband's 'something nice' should've been ordering take out from her favorite restaurant rather than serving her a blackened cajun meal, but it's the thought that counts! Hopefully, his next thought was 'I can't make her eat this I should order a pizza."

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He'll Remember This Day Forever

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husband fail
Photo Credit: Reddit / StarskyAndHutch
Photo Credit: Reddit / StarskyAndHutch
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What's the story behind this one? Well, it ends with a husband whose probably sleeping on the couch for tonight.

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This man asked to borrow his wife's phone and she said her password was their anniversary... It would've taken him at least 20 wrong tries plus waiting time in between to get him to the point of giving up. Now his wife is also at the point of giving up, but on her husband.

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Burn Victim

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tshirt microwave incident
Photo Credit: imgur
Photo Credit: imgur
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We're willing to bet you probably can't guess what happened to this t-shirt unless by some unfortunate coincidence your husband has also done this.

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This man thought that in order to dry his shirt faster he could, rather than just changing the dryer setting, put it in the microwave. He was sorely mistaken. Turns out you cannot microwave a cotton t-shirt. Maybe he can turn this into some sort of Halloween costume?

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Rocket Man

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space suit daughter's clothing
Photo Credit: imgur
Photo Credit: imgur
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"Once upon a time, I sent my daughter and my husband off to buy her some nice new clothes." Imagine you send your husband to buy clothing for your child and instead, he brings home an astronaut in a spacesuit.

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What if this was a ploy all along though? Maybe this husband knew that if he brought his daughter back in an outfit that resembled tin foil he'd never be asked to go clothes shopping again...

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Enough Trauma To Keep Em Laughing

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how to traumatize your children book
Photo Credit: Reddit / SlashedSpoon
Photo Credit: Reddit / SlashedSpoon
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The key is to traumatize your children just enough to make sure they turn out funny. It's a very fine line that not all parents can achieve, but this soon-to-be father wanted to take the initiative.

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He gave his wife — who was three-months pregnant at the time — this book as a little light reading so they could be on the same page, but she didn't find it quite as funny as he did.

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Mixed Media

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its art ok
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LizzieSwann1
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LizzieSwann1
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This husband was asked to remove his garbage from the kitchen counter, but he instead turned it into a literal piece of art, and great content for his wife's Twitter. Both the best and worst part about this is that some modern art museum would probably purchase this, only further encouraging this husband.

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He has also since created another piece of similar art from a box of Nairn's oatcakes, and now that he's internet famous, she'll never be able to get her husband to pick up his garbage.

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The #1 Laundry Sin

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laundry sin
Photo Credit: imgur / Jessie599
Photo Credit: imgur / Jessie599
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This husband was asked to do the laundry, and subsequently, he will never be asked to participate in that household chore again. He committed the cardinal laundry sin that's basically the first thing anyone teaches you when you're shown how to do laundry.

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It's one of those things you think could never happen to you. You would never be the one to leave a red sock in with the whites, and yet, here we are.

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Highlighting The Issues

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highlighter but not make
Photo Credit: Instagram / @yvonmenon
Photo Credit: Instagram / @yvonmenon
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This woman made the mistake of sending her husband to buy her makeup, and he instead returned with school supplies. She asked for highlighter and that's exactly what she got, she just didn't want the textbook kind.

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This one can only partially be blamed on the husband because any wife that asks her husband to buy her makeup is opening the door to a disaster. It was a bold move, and it backfired.

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Was The Joke Worth It?

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Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP. 
Wife: let me in the house.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Beagz
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Beagz
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In every situation in life, there's a cost and a benefit to what action you take. This man really risked it all to make a silly joke and I don't think pissing his wife off was worth it.

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Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls

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poorly drawn woman sitting
Photo Credit: Reddit / Inked_Chick
Photo Credit: Reddit / Inked_Chick
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This woman's husband told her to sit still because he "wanted to draw her". After a few minutes, he presented her with this. It's honestly a miracle that she didn't interpret it as an insult.

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Here's Your Lunch, Honey!

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plate with chocolate croissant two strawberries, a few pringles, and a handful of chocolate raisins
Photo Credit: Reddit / kerokaeru
Photo Credit: Reddit / kerokaeru
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While quarantined in their house together, this woman was having an exceptionally busy workday so she asked her husband to bring some lunch for her. This is what he presented to her.

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No Pants, No Shirt, No Dignity

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Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. (blurry photo of man in gorilla suit)
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedadvocate01
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedadvocate01
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A wife could be in the most important business meeting of her career trying to talk to her superiors and her husband would still lumber up behind her in boxers to ask where the Lucky Charms are kept.

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The Way Her Head Must Have Been Shaking

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Tonight my husband set off the smoke alarm by stuffing an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the toaster.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @katieegdodd
Photo Credit: Twitter / @katieegdodd
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Nothing can really prepare you for the sudden and overwhelming realization that you have tied your life to an absolute idiot and now you're stuck with them until death do you part.

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He'll Never Take Flattering Photos Though

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woman's face is distorted through her glasses that she's taking off
Photo Credit: Reddit / _doyoulikemilk_
Photo Credit: Reddit / _doyoulikemilk_
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It's so funny to me that women's camera rolls will be filled with wholesome cute photos of them and their husbands, whereas men's phones are full of pictures of their wives at the worst angles possible.

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Should've Kept Quiet

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I told my wife about a dream I had where she was mad at me and she sided with dream wife and is now actually mad at me
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Average_Dad1
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Average_Dad1
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All this man had to do is say nothing about his dream argument in order to keep the peace, but instead he decided to dig his own grave. R.I.P. to his day.

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That's Not What She Meant

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young boy lying across dining table
Photo Credit: Reddit / hellowsweetie_11
Photo Credit: Reddit / hellowsweetie_11
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While out shopping at the store and looking at tablecloths, this woman asked her husband how long the table was in order to choose the right size and this is what he sent back to her. That's not helpful, STEVE.

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He's Definitely Getting Fired

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Wife: Did you tell the kids to drop out of school?  
Me: They don't like their teacher 

Wife: I’m their teacher

Me: And I’m their guidance counselor
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedadvocate01
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thedadvocate01
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When tackling important challenges with your kids, it's important as parents to present yourselves as a united front. This husband, who did the exact opposite, can expect the cold shoulder for a day or two.

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"My Wife Is Smokin' Hot So I Picked The Shower Curtain."

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boyfriend-husband-jokes-3-5b7ff49e29222__700
Photo Credit: Reddit / ryencokez
Photo Credit: Reddit / ryencokez
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While they come in all shapes and sizes, husbands usually have one common trait - they never grow up. We aren't sure how his wife took it - we hope our wives take it as a compliment - because this idea is 100% pure gold.