Everyone complains about getting old. Maybe you found out you were old when you realized you actually can’t leave your house without a coffee or when standing up required that you make every groan imaginable. Seriously, where do these noises even come from? Our only guess is that it’s your body yelling at you for the years of mac n’ cheese dinners.
People are sharing how they know they’ve gotten old and it’s all kinds of relatable and rheumatic humor. We all said that we’d never do these things as kids but the orthopedic shoe is on the other foot now.
Happy 29th Again
We all used to make fun of our moms when they would celebrate their 29th birthday for the fifth year in a row. Little did we know we’d soon get on her level.
The Adult Clock Stops For No Holiday
Growing up we all had that crotchety neighbor who called the cops for the craziest little things. Like when your paper was thrown in his driveway. We’re just starting now to feel his pain.
A Cold One For The Lower Back Pain
Don’t even pretend like you’re not creaking around now with one hand on your back and one hand on your hip anytime you do anything. It’s the adult flex and we’re all on it.
Spring Cleaning Becomes A Reminder Of Your Adult Life
We used to water down our parent’s barely used vodka with water. Now we’re on the other side walking by the liquor cabinet with a hand over our face and cringing.
If Christmas Means Waking Up At 7am Then You’d Rather Not
Honestly, we’re all over those days when we were kids waking up at the crack of dawn and sprinting down the stairs on Christmas morning. Just the thought makes us yawn now.
You 100% Promised You’d Never Be That Aunt
Here’s a full-circle moment — you’re the cheek-pinching aunt who’s always talking about how grown the little kids look that you promised yourself you’d never be. But, but, they were so small last time!
Power Wash Your Problems Away
As a kid, you saved up your allowance for toys, but as an adult, it’s all household products to make your life easier. A vegetable spiralizer to make zoodles? Throw that player in the cart.
We’re On the 4S Now Right?
If you didn’t give up keeping up with the latest iPhone release after the 5C, then you aren’t really an adult. The real adult mood is keeping up with the iOS update number instead.
My God This Puppy Can Do Latte Art
Stop what you’re doing and run down to the breakroom. Daniel’s just walked in with milk foam shaped like a flower and we need to know… has the Keurig been upgraded?
The Future Is Now And The Roomba Is Our Stake In It
Okay, so the Roomba is a great gift no matter how old you are. Being fascinated by the way it spins around and doesn’t get stuck unites generations. Siri, eat your heart out.
Take Advantage Of The Birthday Deals
Don’t count on other people to celebrate your birthday when you can rage out by yourself. Bust down into Baskin Robbins with your bday coupon and live your dreams.
That Boy Crush Turns Into A Man Crush
Don’t go watching your old favorite movies unless you want to feel all kinds of confused. When you start preferring Eugene Levy in American Pie over Jason Biggs you’re over the hill.
When The Alarm Isn’t Do Or Die Then You’ve Aged
Back in the day when we would stay up all night, we would need an alarm that sounds like literal bombs going off. It was the only thing that would actually wake us up.
“Microsoft Office Proficient” Yeah Baby, Can Confirm
When you’re an adult, the lure of Instagram pales to the draw of LinkedIn. Where else can you get a job, brownnose your boss, and judge the people you went to high school with?
But That Wouldn’t Work With The Gently Cascading Water Feature
Don’t even pretend like you haven’t been mainlining HGTV for years for this very moment. You’re a true adult when a significant portion of your paycheck goes to your “backyard oasis.”
You Don’t Host Parties For This Very Reason
Yeah honestly, you’d be game to hang out as long as nobody’s coming over. You have to clean before they get there and then clean up when they leave. You’d do anything for your friends, just not that.
It Keeps It Cold Okay?
When you’re a college student, you’re just going to down any solo-cup drink someone thrusts in your hand. Now there are certain conditions. Hold it partner, is that a chilled IPA?
Matinee, More Like Matin-heyyyyy
Okay, so you want to see a movie but the showtimes are either in the afternoon or at night. You also don’t want to fall asleep during it, and couldn’t possibly have a soda at this hour…
Talk About The Weather One More Time, We Dare You
When your go-to small talk is the weather, you might as well join the AARP. If you’ve got at least 5 talking points on hand about the rain you’re a fully-fledged adult now.
Get Into This “Japanese Cherry Blossom” Threewick
Don’t even act like you don’t walk a little slower by Bath and Body Works “just to see.” Oh, is that a deal on a three-wick for only $10? You gotta go in.