Photos That Prove Marriage Is A War And We Don’t Know Who’s Winning

When you get married, you're agreeing to spend decades of your life with your new spouse. If you're lucky, you're going to be with them for the next 50 or 60 years, so you've got to be able to keep things interesting, right?

While you may not always love the practical jokes that your husband pulls, and your wife will never share her dessert with you, your life would be boring without them.

There's No Point In Debating It

car accident or child birth which pain is worse
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kentWGraham
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kentWGraham

You're never going to win the battle when it comes to thinking that something is more painful than childbirth. Even if the physical pain is worse, you still didn't form a person inside of you, so she's going to win

ADVERTISEMENT

Never Leave Your Husband In Charge

ADVERTISEMENT
grocery shopping gone wrong for husband
Photo Credit: Reddit / SidePone
Photo Credit: Reddit / SidePone
ADVERTISEMENT

You sent him to the grocery store for milk and kitty litter, but instead, he came back with a car full of treats that a 7-year-old boy would've picked out. Now you're left wondering if there's a return policy on husbands.

ADVERTISEMENT

There Can Only Be One Winner

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
coke or pepsi fight to the death
Photo Credit: Reddit / uselesspanini
Photo Credit: Reddit / uselesspanini
ADVERTISEMENT

One man's wife claims that Pepsi is superior to Coke and thinks he shouldn't be able to buy it anymore because it's a waste of money to buy both, so he showed her how he really feels.

ADVERTISEMENT

Good Luck Changing The Channel Now

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
hidden remote in light
Photo Credit: Reddit / 88pieces
Photo Credit: Reddit / 88pieces
ADVERTISEMENT

You always fight over the remote and your wife always wins control of the clicker, but she can't win if she can't reach it, so use your height to your advantage.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sound The Alarm

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
sound the alarm on the handle
Photo Credit: Imgur / pseudom
Photo Credit: Imgur / pseudom
ADVERTISEMENT

After a late night out with your friends, you thought you were going to be able to sneak into the house without your wife knowing just how late you came home. But thanks to this trap she put on the door, you're sure to wake her up.

ADVERTISEMENT

Cherish This Moment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
you were right i was wrong
Photo Credit: Reddit / elusivemrx
Photo Credit: Reddit / elusivemrx
ADVERTISEMENT

Very few times in your marriage is your wife going to admit when she was wrong, so you need to take those little chances and embrace the moment when you can.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Answer Is Probably No

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
meal flow chart for husband
Photo Credit: Reddit / biscoff_nutella
Photo Credit: Reddit / biscoff_nutella
ADVERTISEMENT

Robbie's wife is sick and tired of having to clean up a mess in the kitchen every time her husband wants to make himself a snack, and she is sick of being asked, so she came up with a solution.

ADVERTISEMENT

Boundaries Don't Exist

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
stop screaming in the shower
Photo Credit: Twitter / @iwearaonesie
Photo Credit: Twitter / @iwearaonesie
ADVERTISEMENT

When there's an important question to be asked, it can't wait for things like showering. Your husband needs answers, and he needs them as soon as possible, so get used to him storming in.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Secret To A Happy Marriage

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
just married separate vehicles
Photo Credit: Reddit / nilleo
Photo Credit: Reddit / nilleo
ADVERTISEMENT

While you might think that they'd want to ride in the same car and bask in their newlywed bliss, these two have clearly figured out the secret to a happy marriage is a little healthy distance.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lines Have Been Drawn

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
you already ate your cake
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
ADVERTISEMENT

When it comes to cake or really any type of dessert, there's no messing around. You're lucky she let you have any of it, let alone half of it. Appreciate what you got and move on.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's Payback Time

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
dishwsher broken for husband to fix
Photo Credit: Twitter / @3sunzzz
Photo Credit: Twitter / @3sunzzz
ADVERTISEMENT

Being married to someone means you have one person in your life that knows you so well they can always find a way to annoy you, but it also means you have ample time to come up with a creative solution.

ADVERTISEMENT

You Sure Showed Her

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
batman lawn shape
Photo Credit: Reddit / Corncorn01
Photo Credit: Reddit / Corncorn01
ADVERTISEMENT

Your wife asked you to mow the lawn because you're in charge of doing the yard work, which means you get full creative control, and now she's stuck looking at this out the window every day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Allergy Season Is Also Petty Season

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
wife refusing to say bless you when husband sneezes
Photo Credit: Reddit / @mom_ontherocks
Photo Credit: Reddit / @mom_ontherocks
ADVERTISEMENT

I pledge my full-fledged support to this wife. Husbands always want to think they're above the power of prescription medicine. They're the same men who refuse to use an umbrella.

ADVERTISEMENT

Peanut Butter And Puzzle Pieces

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
sandwich shapes
Photo Credit: Reddit / leftnotracks
Photo Credit: Reddit / leftnotracks
ADVERTISEMENT

This husband thought he was being funny when his wife said she didn't care what shape her sandwich was cut into, but in the end, it seems like the wife was the winner. This seems like it took more time than it was worth for hubby.

ADVERTISEMENT

Why Would The Guests Be In The Attic?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Untitled design (93)
ADVERTISEMENT

You don't know where your guests are going to go snooping when you're not looking! Some people like to look in the medicine cabinet, but if they choose to snoop in the attic, then you'll be thrilled.

ADVERTISEMENT

This Is How You Start A Fight

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
no muffin tops left
Photo Credit: Reddit / HapEGoLucky
Photo Credit: Reddit / HapEGoLucky
ADVERTISEMENT

If you go around living your life happily eating the tops off of all the muffins in your house and expecting to face zero consequences in life, you're in for a rude awakening.

ADVERTISEMENT

Waking Up Next To Each Other Seems Great At First

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
tweet about husband waking wife up before alarm
Photo Credit: Twitter / @tanbotha24
Photo Credit: Twitter / @tanbotha24
ADVERTISEMENT

Except when you have completely different schedules, or worse, you married an early riser. Now the mornings are lawless. Will they wake you up with their cheery disposition or will they let you sleep until after you've snoozed your alarm fifty times?

ADVERTISEMENT

Eating For Two

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
announcement
Photo Credit: Reddit / LT_DANS_ICECREAM
Photo Credit: Reddit / LT_DANS_ICECREAM
ADVERTISEMENT

When they say you're eating for two, they don't generally mean that you should eat your husband's food as well as yours, but I guess if you're sending out a creative pregnancy announcement, that's one way to get the message across.

ADVERTISEMENT

No Wonder He Hasn't Lost Weight

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
working out on the treadmill
Photo Credit: Reddit / GorJess229
Photo Credit: Reddit / GorJess229
ADVERTISEMENT

All these times that you heard the treadmill running in the basement, you thought your husband was working out. But now you discover he's been doing...this. Your marriage is built on lies.

ADVERTISEMENT

Thanks For The Effort...

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
tweet about husband making mess when cooking dinner
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Lhlodder
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Lhlodder
ADVERTISEMENT

If you want something done properly, you might as well do it yourself. This is especially true when you ask your significant other to help with something and they do a bad job on purpose so you hopefully will never ask them again.

ADVERTISEMENT

She Brought This On Herself

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
wife refused to move
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
ADVERTISEMENT

She's always told you that making the bed in the morning is your job, and you know that if you don't do it you're going to hear about it all day, so what choice did you have?

ADVERTISEMENT

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
i did this to you while in labor
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
ADVERTISEMENT

You should already be prepared for the fact that, while your wife is giving birth, she's probably going to remind you at some point that she's in this pain because of you. This husband came prepared and gave his wife another reason to yell in anger.

ADVERTISEMENT

Two Can Play At This Game

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
vacuum seal in the office
Photo Credit: Reddit / humvee
Photo Credit: Reddit / humvee
ADVERTISEMENT

Your wife said you weren't allowed to buy anymore fancy kitchen equipment, but she never said anything about office equipment. Lucky for you, a vacuum sealer sort of looks like a three-hole punch on your desk.

ADVERTISEMENT

Use The Laser To Point Him In The Right Direction

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
laser hair removal from husband
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
ADVERTISEMENT

Okay, so this might not be the "laser hair removal" your wife was expecting when she asked for it for Christmas, but this husband deserves a couple bonus points for creativity.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Best Things In Life Aren't Free

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
preheat the car and foot the bill
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Chance2K11
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Chance2K11
ADVERTISEMENT

You want to do something nice for your spouse, but you're not just going to do everything for her without a lil' something in return. You deserve your allowance for the week.

ADVERTISEMENT

Jumpstart Her Heart Every Day

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
companion hidden in the shower
Photo Credit: Reddit / amosfargus
Photo Credit: Reddit / amosfargus
ADVERTISEMENT

If you've been searching for the perfect way to give your wife a heart attack first thing in the morning, putting up a giant cardboard cutout proved to be very effective for this husband.

ADVERTISEMENT

Follow The Instructions And You'll Be Fine

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
hand towel with instructions
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
ADVERTISEMENT

What more do you want from your wife? The kids are all still alive, everyone has been fed semi-healthy food. You can't expect any more than that on a regular basis.

ADVERTISEMENT

Where's Your Holiday Spirit?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
festive decorations
Photo Credit: Reddit / opticdream
Photo Credit: Reddit / opticdream
ADVERTISEMENT

Your wife complained that you had the least festive house in the neighborhood every year when it was the Christmas season. Now, thanks to your little display, she'll take matters into her own hands in future years.

ADVERTISEMENT

Are You Trying To Get Divorced?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
cut the cake from the center
Photo Credit: Reddit / Gardogood
Photo Credit: Reddit / Gardogood
ADVERTISEMENT

No sane person would think that this is an acceptable way to cut a cake, right? The husband that did this is trying to pick a fight, and we have no doubt that this tactic proved to be a success.

ADVERTISEMENT

A Thinly Veiled Threat

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
i will cut you if you wake me
Photo Credit: Reddit / hoofhearted523
Photo Credit: Reddit / hoofhearted523
ADVERTISEMENT

See, it seems like she's giving you a compliment, but any person who has been married for a long time knows that the part you should focus on is the second half of this note. The first part doesn't matter.

ADVERTISEMENT

What Kind Of Monster Did You Marry?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
sharing a twix with your wife
Photo Credit: Reddit / Actuarial
Photo Credit: Reddit / Actuarial
ADVERTISEMENT

When your wife asked you to share a Twix bar with her, you assumed like any normal person would, that she meant you get one half and she gets the other. That's not the case in this household.

ADVERTISEMENT

Serious Suggestions Only, Please

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
extreme ironing hobby
Photo Credit: Reddit / cdsparks
Photo Credit: Reddit / cdsparks
ADVERTISEMENT

When you told your husband that you were considering taking up a new hobby and were looking for suggestions, "extreme ironing" was—unsurprisingly—not one of the hobbies you'd initially thought of.

ADVERTISEMENT

Now You Can Pick Up After Yourself

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
the golden retriever for your birthday
Photo Credit: Reddit / maddipotter
Photo Credit: Reddit / maddipotter
ADVERTISEMENT

Most women are expecting to get some sort of fluffy, lovable ball of fur when they ask for a "golden retriever" for their birthday. A retriever painted gold was not on the list.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's Always In Front Of The Spice Cabinet Too

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
tweet about husband standing in front of cabinets
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sixfootcandy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sixfootcandy
ADVERTISEMENT

If you every need to draw out literal fighting territories, it's going to be in the kitchen. No matter how spacious your kitchen is, you an always get in each other's way.

ADVERTISEMENT

How To Stay Sane While Snacking

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
cookie dough hidden inside greek yogurt container
Photo Credit: Reddit / LifeWithAdd
Photo Credit: Reddit / LifeWithAdd
ADVERTISEMENT

You have to bring your A-game when it comes to snacking in a relationship. Hide the best snacks or else they WILL eat them. For most men, you can just hide it on a bottom shelf because they're incapable of looking past eye-level.

ADVERTISEMENT

So, Apparently This Happens In Real Life

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
load of white clothing that turned pink
Photo Credit: Reddit / Jessie599
Photo Credit: Reddit / Jessie599
ADVERTISEMENT

Our parents always scare you into separating clothes but no one actually does as an adult. I hope whoever threw in the red shirt is forgiven by their spouse, because it's just not fair.

ADVERTISEMENT

They're NOT Your Sandwich Maker

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
sandwhich with cheese slice still in plastic wrapper
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
ADVERTISEMENT

This man made the mistake of jokingly referring to his wife as a "sandwich maker," so she lived up to her name, and while she may have laughed at the time, she clearly didn't forget about it.

ADVERTISEMENT

A Pointed Gift

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
cutting board with inscription to not use counter
Photo Credit: Reddit / thestallion007
Photo Credit: Reddit / thestallion007
ADVERTISEMENT

You may have thought that subtlety was your strong suit, but then you realize that despite your hints and comments, your husband is still using the counter as a cutting board, so for Christmas you had to throw subtlety to the wind.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Art Of War

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
kitchen with every cupboard left open
Photo Credit: Reddit / Mr_Locke
Photo Credit: Reddit / Mr_Locke
ADVERTISEMENT

Living with another person and knowing everything about them is great because you know how to make them smile, but it also means you know exactly how to annoy your wife when she tries to pick a fight with you.

ADVERTISEMENT

How Does She Have Any Hair Left?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
vacuum with bunch of wife's hair beside it
Photo Credit: Reddit / Ryvo
Photo Credit: Reddit / Ryvo
ADVERTISEMENT

You're going to find yourself wondering how it's possible that your wife has any hair left to leave around the house considering you could form a small dog from all her shedding, but it's going to be a never-ending battle for you.