Remember that chunky Nokia phone that you begged and begged your parents to get you back in the early 90s, but instead, they got you a piece of paper with your home phone number written on it and told you that they're the only people you "need" to call? And then ten years later your younger sibling has as much Apple tech as a startup company at age 9? Well, get ready to commiserate.
Twitter user @abbygov reached out on Twitter to the eldest siblings out there to share their experiences (trauma) of how much better the youngest has it than they did. The results will have you feeling the urge to passive-aggressively text your parents about the video game they didn't buy you over a decade ago.
@abbygov Kept It Real About Addiction Therapy
Seems like her mom ran out of a little steam by the time her little sister started high school. @abbygov followed up this tweet with another that asked "older siblings we must unionize and demand better conditions and equal treatment" and boy did the older siblings band together and share their experiences.
Forcing You To Learn An Instrument Is A Strict Rule For Any Older Sibling
Parents get all excited when they have their first child and decide that they're going to be a doctor/lawyer/astronaut and follow in Beethoven's footsteps. So they make the eldest learn the piano. Which obviously, because life isn't fair, their siblings don't have to learn.
9 Is The New 13
Either this mom forgot about this very strict rule or she just wanted to make an example of the eldest. Who's a 9-year-old going to text anyway? The Barbie hotline to find out when her doll's birthday is?
You Still Get The Youngest's Perks Even If You're 40
Once the youngest, always the youngest... even if you're not technically "young" anymore. This sister probably still borrows their parent's car and gets a cool $20 slipped into her hand to go to the mall while her older sibling has to, you know, not be dependent.
Buying Your Own Birthday Present Was A Vintage Parenting Tactic Apparently
What a mystery. This kid has cracked the code to wealth and realized that if she never spent anything and just had her parents give her everything then she'd be rich. She should be a financial advisor with all this slick knowledge.
"Adult Content" Doesn't Include The Red Wedding
Funny how this mom went from controlling to saying she "can't control" what her sibling does. It's almost as if she wanted to watch GOT with her. Maybe all this older sibling needed to do was watch and read stuff geared to her mom's demographic and she'd have her freedom.
The Mom Who Accounted For Inflation
So this older sibling could afford roughly 1.5 lunches for the five days in a week while their sibling could afford like eight. I love how this mom waited until the older sibling graduated to sneakily correct her very interesting math.
MySpace—Now Sending People To Rehab
Surprise honey, you're going to rehab while your brother gets to stare deeply into the stuffing and see little dancing robots. We can all thank MySpace and Facebook for making all of our parents crazier than they already were.
Feeling "Left Out" Is How They Get Everything
"Left out" is a phrase that every single eldest has heard on a loop throughout their childhood. It's the reason their younger sibling gets presents on the eldest's birthday and the reason we still kind of hate our younger siblings. Just a little bit though.
Annnnnd Then The Inevitable
Hmmmm could've never guessed this would happen when you give a child a computer. They're immediately clicking on every single pop up on Webkinz because they literally do not know better. So maybe just wait until they're older and not get them a new MacBook?
The Eldest Goes Through The Trenches
This is true because the eldest basically has to fight every single battle by themselves with zero support and zero allies. At least the youngest gets to use the old "I feel left out" line as ammo to get what they want. We had to dig trenches all alone.
Because Farmville Is More Risque Than Harry Potter Fan "Art"...
Parents, just do yourself a favor and don't check your kid's internet history... especially if they're on Tumblr. Because those drawings of the Teen Titans aren't exactly approved by the cartoon's creators. It's a scarring place.
The Mom Who Boarded The Supportive Train A Little Late
I would love her to have a "Free Supportive Eldest Sibling Hugs" shirt because this girl truly paved the way for her brother and it wasn't easy and she's a hero for that okay.
The Eldest Has "Crash Test Dummy" Written On Their Foreheads
Eldest siblings should fully expect a check in the mail and a credit written on their younger sibling's forehead if they turn out successful. Because the parenting that made them that way is all thanks to the very, very rough drafts that we were.
Guilty By Association
Of course, this happened. The minute one of the eldest friends gets in trouble, they're guilty by association and expected to repent for their friend's actions. But the youngest? The BFF they met on Twitter who's been to jail three times sounds like a lovely person.
Even Twins Born Minutes Apart Counts Apparently For This Cool Mom
Turns out, youngest perks happen even when you're twins. Not only does this twin get away with smoking, but he did it in the house. I repeat, the house. There's not a sibling alive who wouldn't burst a blood vessel over the younger sibling doing this.
18? You Might Not Be Able To Handle An ABC Teen Drama
This parent does know GTA is one of the most violent video games where you can literally murder, steal, beat, and hijack cars right? That's the entire plot of the game. That's it.
There's Just No Way To Win If You're An Only Child
You'd think that if you're an only child you'd get the perk of being the youngest where you can do whatever, but that's not true. Since you're also the oldest that means you can't do anything. And that rule is so strict it overpowers everything.
The Oldest Is Locked Into The Rocket Science Learning Path
Parents basically just force the oldest to be successful so they can have a nice cushy retirement, and when that's squared away they just let the youngest do whatever they want. It's all about insurance, baby.
The Dad Who Doesn't Know Other Schools Have People In Them
Unless this girl was being homeschooled after, there's a pretty solid chance there's going to be a repeat incident. Also, if she goes outside even once it might happen... so this dad should really rethink his logic.
Just Working Away While The Youngest Lives In Luxury
This one is mind-boggling. Honestly, having a youngest child sounds like a pretty hefty financial investment. There's no better way to drain thousands of dollars out of your bank account than to have a youngest that gets it all.
Tattoos Are Contagious Now
Whatever the eldest does, in their parent's mind, is basically giving their kid a green go-ahead to do that same thing. So honestly, might as well just double down on the rebellious behavior since you're going to be blamed for everything anyway.
Mobile Phone Games Are The Youngest's "Studying"
Last I checked, a mobile phone game wasn't exactly studying, but hey, what do I know, I'm no teacher. This kid probably failed their board exams but what they didn't fail at was seriously annoying their older sibling.
The Younger Sibling Who Maybe Felt A Little Entitled... To A Car
Hi younger siblings out there, nobody has to get you a car... especially after your siblings get into three expensive accidents in them. Honesty, I think it would be more shocking if her parents did buy her a car after all that.
Just Throw The Parenting Out The Window With PG-13 Movies Then
I've never heard of any kid actually waiting until 13 to watch PG-13 movies because most of us have already found a way to sneakily watch them behind our parent's backs. Then we have to act shocked when we watch one for the "first time" with our parents and someone swears. This person should've broken this rule a long time ago.
"Choice" Was A Word The Eldest Never Heard
What's choice? That's a word not in the eldest's vocabulary. The only words they've heard before are "you're going to do this", "don't do that", and "you're in my house you'll do what I say."
It Must Be Because The Eldest Is A "Bad Example" And Not Because Of Bad Parenting Or Anything
Hopefully, this person's younger sibling wasn't a frequent screw-up because it would get tiring getting lectured every time they screwed up. We've got stuff to do and our own mistakes to make, we can't be responsible for yours as well.
She Tapped Out And Didn't Mind Admitting It
Well, this basically confirms something that we already knew. The youngest can run around with a tie wrapped around their head leaving lights on in every room and leaving the fridge door open. But for us? It's that 4 pm curfew.
An 18-Year Warm-Up Round
Hey, at least they admitted what we were all thinking anyway. This explains all those times you had to go to bed at 9 pm when you were 17, while your little sibling basically got to do whatever they want. Your parents were just stretching their legs for a little warm-up parenting.
Keeping The Balance
At least someone is keeping the youngest humble. It's all about balance in the family. If your youngest has it too good, as the eldest you're supposed to knock them down a few pegs. Leave the cap off their toothpaste and let it dry out... see what happens.