10 Dad Jokes That Shouldn’t Exist And Yet Here They Are


Face it, you love dad jokes — well maybe only if you are reading this and you’re actually a dad. Sure, our friends might cringe when we share our horrible jokes but deep down they love hearing the stupidity that flows from our mouth. It’s almost like we’re adults who haven’t slept in two years because that cranky baby/infant/toddler just won’t shut up for a full night’s sleep.

If like me, you revel in both the simultaneous satisfaction and dissatisfaction these jokes deliver to friends, family, and co-workers, you’ll love these 10 cringe-worth dad jokes.

A little medical humor: My girlfriend said she’d marry me once I got over my obsession with ambulances. I’ve done it and she’ll be so happy when I got down on one knee knaw knee knaw knee knaw.

A different kind of hello: A cowboy walks into a car dealership & says “Audi.”

This isn’t funny. Don’t laugh: I quit my job in the helium gas factory…I refused to be spoken to in that tone.

A timeless dad joke: Yesterday I ate a clock, it was very time-consuming. Especially since I went back for seconds.

Dad’s love Twitter. Time to move over to Instagram: A man goes to the doctor. What’s the problem says the doctor. I’m totally addicted to Twitter the man says. The doctor replies “I’m sorry but I don’t follow you.”

This joke really is terrible: Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

This joke deserves an award: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Dad jokes deliver the truth: What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

One you won’t see coming: Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”

Why do so many dad jokes involve fish: What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!

I’m not even a little bit sorry that I shared these with you. Now spread them like wildfire. Everyone will appreciate your quick wit and ability to look at them with a straight face as you spout off these tear-inducing masterpieces.