Adults Share The Hilarious Things Their Children Call Everyday Things

Anyone who has spent time with a kid knows that they can say some pretty zany things.

One of the funniest and potentially horrifying things that they do is mix up their words or simply make up their own name for something that is so ordinary to us that it blows our minds they don't know what it is yet.

I Hope There Were Follow-Up Questions

Tweet: My daughter just called a cemetery a person garden. I'm not even sure what she inks is happening there.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @java_assassin
Photo Credit: Twitter / @java_assassin

I see the logic in this train of thought, but I'm also concerned that this little kid thinks that humans will grow out of the ground? I mean, that's what being planted implies.

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An Interesting Leap In Logic

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Tweet: My kid just called the statue of liberty the statue of puberty and this is the content I signed up for when becoming a parent.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts
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Some day, this little one will understand what puberty is, and they'll be haunted by this moment because if only they'd known how traumatizing puberty was actually going to be.

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Don't Ruin A Good Thing

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Tweet: My kid calls those little ornament hangers 'Christmas Hookers' and I have no plans on telling him differently
Photo Credit: Twitter / @darinlovesbacon
Photo Credit: Twitter / @darinlovesbacon
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Eventually, the novelty of hearing your kid say that word all Christmas will wear off, but it's worth enjoying it now so you can bring it up when they start dating.

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Is That A Threat?

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Tweet: My son calls Toys R Us
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EliatheLibra
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EliatheLibra
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This has to be the kid making a subconscious threat: toys or else. It's toys right now, but as he grows older, he will pick other things to decide that he can't live without.

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I'm Open To This

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Tweet: My 3-year-old calls my gray hairs
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
Photo Credit: Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn
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As someone who has been collecting gray hairs since she was 18 (which was many years ago), I like the idea of getting more powerful with each new silver streak, not just more tired.

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This Kid Has Their Instruments Confused

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Tweet: When our son was little, he called a harmonica a
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SuzanneBlakeman
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SuzanneBlakeman
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In what universe is a harmonica anything like a trumpet? I do like the addition of "cowboy" to it, though, because when do you see anyone other than a cowboy playing a harmonica?

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The Truth Hurts

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Tweet: My four-year-old son calls the craft store
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Ceeseboy22
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Ceeseboy22
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This little boy has his mom all figured out and has already masted the art of throwing shade. He knows full well that anything she buys is going to end up in a closet somewhere never to be used.

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She's A Formal Child

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a kid things that Siri's name is actually Seriously
Photo Credit: Twitter / @fndesimone
Photo Credit: Twitter / @fndesimone
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She's going to grow up to become the kind of person who always refers to everyone by their full name no matter what their relationship is. Being good with names is a gift.

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Not A Fan Of Bed Skins

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Tweet: As a toddler, my son was king of properly renaming things. This is why my vocabulary now includes gems like
Photo Credit: Twitter / @erdoland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @erdoland
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Calling bedsheets bed skins implies that when a human crawls into their bed they are essentially turning themselves into a weird, soft, fleshy ravioli. Something about that doesn't sit right.

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It's A Common Mistake

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Tweet: My son informed me he learned about
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MsChill77
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MsChill77
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When you think about it, this one isn't really that much of a stretch because the words do sound the same, even if they mean completely different things. These parents were probably wondering what their kids were learning in school.

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We Should Just Leave It

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Tweet: someone help me explain to my toddler that pea soup is different from pee soup
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts
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Someday, this toddler will grow up and come to understand that the English language is so confusing and lawless that there are no real rules other than that every rule has an exception.

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Mmm, Don't Like That

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Tweet: My four-year-old calls snot
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Tw1tter_K1tten
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Tw1tter_K1tten
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Calling it "sneeze gravy" implies that it's something you put on top of your food and then eat. I suppose children do eat their snot for a time, so maybe this isn't that crazy.

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That Must Have Been Scary For Him

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Tweet: We didn't realize until my son was about six years old that he thought the room adjacent to the living room was called the dying room. Opps
Photo Credit: Twitter / @paulakampf
Photo Credit: Twitter / @paulakampf
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Did they never hear him ask about going into the dying room and just thinking that it was normal? How did they not notice? Maybe he just kept it to himself.

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I Like The Confidence

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Tweet: A kid on a nature walk with my mom saw a Red-winged blackbird and called it a
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_AdeleBuck
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_AdeleBuck
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Why can't it be a black-bodied redbird? Maybe that's more true to who those birds really feel that they are! Why have boring black feathers when you can be known for being red?

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It's A Fair Question

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Tweet: why is it called apple-cado anyway
Photo Credit: Twitter / @VicVijayakumar
Photo Credit: Twitter / @VicVijayakumar
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"Avocado" is a hard word for adults, let alone a kid. They do kind of look like apples and you pick them off a tree (I think?), so the logic adds up.

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That Was Probably A Self-Esteem Boost For The Rhino

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Tweet: A friend's five year old saw a rhino and called it a battle unicorn. Can we let five year olds christen new species please?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ZoesZooYouTube
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ZoesZooYouTube
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Why would anything be called anything other than the unicorn version of itself? If I were a unicorn, I would be a tired one who watches too much TV. But that's just because that's the kind of human I am.

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It's A Leap, That's For Sure

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Tweet: A friend's five-year-old was wailing about seeing
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jilliank245
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jilliank245
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Flamingos don't even look like vultures, but I do buy that they would be the big bad witches of the bird world. They just have that witchy vibe about them, you know?

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Well, She Isn't Wrong

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Tweet: I'm not saying that my daughter is overly dramatic. I'm just reminding you that she calls tears
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LetMeStart
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LetMeStart
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This little girl is going to be a drama queen for sure. She's going to try and be an Instagram poet and go to an art school. I'm not hating, just calling them how I see it.

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It Is Accurate

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Tweet: Two-year-old referred to her coat pockets as
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RebeccaCaprara
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RebeccaCaprara
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If you took a poll of the number of people who kept snacks in their pockets vs the number of people who don't, you would probably find that they truly are snack holes more often than not.

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Time To Do Some Grooming

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Tweet: My two year old son calls beards / facial hair face grass. It started like a year ago and we can't bring ourselves to correct him.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @janna_rpw
Photo Credit: Twitter / @janna_rpw
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I hope that when it comes time for him to learn how to shave, his parents make a bunch of jokes about mowing the lawn and trimming the grass. It would be a missed opportunity if not.

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It Is What It Is

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Tweet:
Photo Credit: Twitter / @StellaGMaddox
Photo Credit: Twitter / @StellaGMaddox
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We could all be a little more self-aware. At the end of the day, how many of us have more cow-like reflexes than cat-like reflexes? It's all about accepting yourself.

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Is This Better Than The Garden?

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Tweet: my son just called a coffin a skeleton burrito and somehow I'm the one on Twitter
Photo Credit: Twitter / @GrantTanaka
Photo Credit: Twitter / @GrantTanaka
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I guess it comes down to if you're a taco person or not. Because, if you like tacos, then being buried in a burrito doesn't sound like such a bad way to go.

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Gotta Love Kids Calling Their Parents Out

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Tweet: My kid calls prune juice
Photo Credit: Twitter / @livlab
Photo Credit: Twitter / @livlab
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It is a timeless classic, watching kids call their parents out on all their worst qualities and habits they think are secrets. They notice so much more than you think.

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They're Basically The Same

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Tweet: my son calls squirrels kangaroos and I have no intention of correcting him
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TwinzerDad
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TwinzerDad
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Like, I see where this kid is coming from. From afar, when they sit on their back legs nibbling on their little snacks, they totally do look like tiny kangaroos.

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That's Actually Cute

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Tweet: My niece used to say she was singing in her pants whenever she passed gas
Photo Credit: Twitter / @brettspiel
Photo Credit: Twitter / @brettspiel
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It's nice to see kids embracing the things about themselves that should be embarrassing. But who decided that farting was embarrassing, anyway? We all do it, even if we don't want to admit it.

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I Wouldn't Argue

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Tweet: My kid couldn't remember the word
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SongInventionsKM
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SongInventionsKM
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When you think about it, this is kind of right. If you are going to compare your legs and your arms, your wrists and ankles are basically the same things.

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They Look The Same

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Tweet: When my niece was three or four she asked if a backhoe was a dinosaur
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jaberson
Photo Credit: Twitter / @jaberson
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It would have been hard to know what to do in that moment. Do you tell them the truth that it's just a machine, or do you let them enjoy their childhood for a bit longer and tell them they might be right?

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How Does The Dog Feel?

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Tweet: My son calls a dog's snout its beak and I think we all should too tbh
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
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Depending on the type of dog, the snout can look like a beak. I think most dogs I know would be fine with people calling their snouts beaks as long as they still get pets.

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What Is With People And Pickles?

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Tweet: My five year old daughter calls limes weird pickles and I feel like that might help someone somewhere. Kids are rad.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheMudlily
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheMudlily
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So, I'm guessing this 5-year-old is one of those people in the world who feel like pickles are just the greatest thing ever. People either love or hate pickles, but usually, limes are OK.

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You Mean It Isn't?

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Tweet: My son calls dessert his bonus round and I think we should all follow his lead
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
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This kid is onto something. Any time you can eat after eating is a bonus. That's why I basically snack all day long. It's just one big bonus round.