Hilarious Tweets About Parenting From 2021 That Show The Year Is Already Off To A Messy Start
With a new calendar up on the fridge and the past year behind us, many people like to look toward the new year as an opportunity to make some changes for the better. However, in reality, it never seems to play out that smoothly.
These parents are only a few days into the new year and they are already back in the weeds with their kids creating chaos every day.
It's Basic Math
As a parent, it is your job to make sure that your children don't feel left out and also to make sure that they maintain a healthy, balanced diet. It only makes sense that you eat all the Oreos.
I Mean, They Aren't Wrong
In a digital world, there's always so much news bombarding our lives that it's impossible to keep up with all of the current events. This kid just knew one part of what was happening.
This Is What Rock Bottom Looks Like
If these kids are so picky that they'll barely even eat McDonald's chicken nuggets, the favorite food of many children, I'm genuinely curious as to what these kids will eat willingly.
It's All About Setting Goals
As parents, we all know that we're not supposed to have favorite children—we're supposed to love them all equally—but I think it's fair to say you have a favorite of the day every once in a while.
Embarrass Your Kids 2021
One of the lights at the end of the tunnel in the journey of raising kids is that you have the opportunity to be the embarrassing, uncool dad in front of all of their friends.
It's Not Exactly A Lie
Sometimes you've got to play chess to outsmart your kids who are playing checkers. Is there really any harm in making a promise that is impossible to keep due to the weather?
Add In The Fear Of Death!
Looking back on my youth, I like to think that I was pretty good at learning to drive during my first few stints behind the wheel. In reality, my dad probably thought he was going to die.
She Is The Boss Of Me!
Toddlers are truly the most terrifying and stubborn creatures on the planet. There is no way to truly negotiate or rationalize with them and, despite your best efforts, they will get what they want.
Is It Rude To Put In Earplugs?
I love my kids with my whole heart, but sometimes I wish that I had actually ended up with shy, quiet children who prefer to read books on their own rather than have a conversation.
They Never Eat All Of It
I don't know what kind of masochism this counts as, but children will always ask to have a bite out of the banana when you're eating it and proceed to take the tiniest, weird nibble.
The Cage Was A Nice Touch
As a parent, you obviously want to give your kid everything their little heart desires, but sometimes the things they want are absolutely absurd and would be your own personal nightmare. I hope this kid forgets the spider.
Caillou Is Canceled!
I know that, as an adult, it is irrational for me to feel an unbridled rage toward a bald animated child, but that will not stop me from celebrating the end of this show.
I! Am! Suffering!
I really do not understand why people use the phrase "sleeping like a baby," because babies are the most inconsistent sleepers of all. I want to sleep like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.
Got To Up The Download Speed
The fourth grade, as I remember it, wasn't an easy one—the introduction of long division was somewhere in there. I can't imagine having to learn that in a blurry, freezing video call.
This Is Terrifying
I bet that, while she was preparing for dinner with the family, this mom didn't even once consider her own mortality. Now, she has to write her child out of the will.
This Theory Makes A Lot Of Sense
So many toys that are aimed at children are simply too annoying for it to be an accident. Those toys were made as a retroactive revenge ploy toward their own parents, and now I must suffer.
It's Such A Bad Name
How are you supposed to console a child who has their heart set on the worst name ever proposed for a dog and cannot comprehend why it is a bad idea?
Secured The "Cool Parent" Title
I would like to think that I am pretty good at keeping up with the current slang, but I know, undoubtedly, there will be a day that I cannot understand what the kids are saying.
The Child Is Just A Middle Man
Every time you fill their cup with juice, you hope that this time will be the one where they do not spill anything on the ground, and every time, that hope is incorrect.
That's The Family Guinea Pig Now
As a parent, you obviously want to come across as a good, kind role model who volunteers to help others, but there is nothing more miserable than being stuck caring for a guinea pig.
Did She Answer, Though?
Parenting is just telling yourself that you have to be patient and "get past this one phase," only to have that phase be replaced by an equally challenging phase again and again—until you can send them to college.
Get Your Head In The Game!
Mario Kart truly brings out the worst in ourselves. While I would never even consider swearing at my kid on a regular day, I would literally try to wreck them on Rainbow Road.
I Never Wanted To Make Cake Pops
I understand that people want to get gifts that can be a fun activity for my kid, but the reality is that the kid does none of the work and reaps all the benefits.
PSA To New Parents!
You have never met a more sore loser than a child losing at their favorite board game. If they could punch their little fists through the wall, they would do it.
Sorry, I Don't Make The Rules
Why do all children go through a weird phase after learning the word "mine" where they effectively become the most possessive little demons in the world? Can someone with a psychology degree explain that?
Make It Make Sense!
In their defense, I spend a significant amount of my own time eating snacks despite the fact that I'm not particularly hungry. I'm just kind of bored and craving Cheetos.
Learn As You Go
Do the green tortillas in any way shape or form taste significantly different from the regular-colored ones? Not at all. Will a child still refuse to eat it because it looks weird? Absolutely.
They Think They Invented Comedy
I swear that one of the most important tasks that you're forced to take on as a parent is laughing at all the things your kid thinks are funny despite not being funny at all.
It Was Almost A Good Lesson
There are times as a parent where you really feel like you've accomplished something through all of your hard work and finally got your kid to improve, but they quickly disprove you.
Get Your Metaphorical Scantron Sheet Ready!
Truly, parenting is like a test you have to take every day and you only ever see the answer key years down the road when it's too late to change anything. Good luck, my dudes.
