If Any Of These Things Happen At Your Wedding, The Marriage Probably Won’t Last
We'd all like to say that every wedding we've attended or been a part of has gone off without a hitch and that we were completely confident in the couple's love for each other, but that would be a lie.
A wedding and a marriage are supposed to be about celebrating love and watching your friends or family commit to someone for life. Unfortunately, there are some red flags or warning signs that the guests or the staff who are working the wedding just can't ignore—even if the couple is choosing to ignore them.
Tone Down The Enthusiasm There
You know that saying about consent that if it's not an enthusiastic yes, you should take it as a no? The same probably goes for wedding vows.
"I guess" isn't exactly the romantic declaration of love that you would hope to hear from your husband on your wedding day.
Little Man Knew What Was Up
Everyone joked about it to try to diffuse the tension afterward, while at the same time half of them were probably thinking the same thing to themselves.
That little boy is the only one who had the courage to say what everyone else was thinking.
No Money For Momma
If this is the hill that your groom is choosing to die on on the day of your wedding, you can basically see your entire future together.
He wants to give your money to his mom, and she's always going to be more of a priority to him.
Not The Right Story To Be Telling At The Wedding
It starts as a funny little story to tell the grandchildren about, but she should have cut it off after the first sentence.
Maybe don't imply to the man you just married that he's actually the runner up to his twin brother, and then joke about how he's the first husband you plan to have...
Annulment Is Better Than Divorce At Least
Every couple has arguments. You're going to have disagreements with your spouse or your partner, but a blow-up fight the night before your wedding?
It's pretty hard to not read into that. If people weren't even sure that the bride would show up, we're going to guess that it didn't last.
The Families Are At Fault
Is your relationship doomed just because your two families don't get along? No, but it might be a sign that you're not a great match.
Think about it: the two groups of people who supposedly know you the best, who raised you and helped shape the people you are, don't like each other. What does that say about your pairing?
Calling It An Early Night
Most people go into a wedding with the mentality that it's a time to celebrate, to have a party with all the people you love most in the world, and it'll probably be a late night for everyone.
Calling it an early night is definitely not the norm.
Lighting Up For The Wrong Person
We're going to choose to take the optimistic route here and say that maybe these two things aren't related to each other!
The woman the groom was so excited to see was his...long-lost twin, or his completely platonic female best friend. He also just happened to have made a poor choice when picking a bride.
No Invites Necessary
The groom's parents are the ones who are paying for most of the wedding and the bride has the audacity to remove their name from the invites? That's going to be a hell no from us.
That's a glaring red flag that she's waving in front of him, but at least she waved that flag before they were legally bound together.
While The Groom Was Golfing
What are you even supposed to say to a friend who reveals something like this after the couple is already married?
Is it your place to tell the groom what you know, or do you force your friend to be the one to break the news, or do you let the relationship come to the clearly inevitable natural ending?
She Stabbed Him?!
We're going to assume that the groom was fine after he was taken to the hospital, but did anyone check on the sister?
Let's not forget that cheating takes two people. If that's what the bride did her husband, her sister should be sleeping with one eye open.
Forced Compliments Are Always Fun
No one wants to receive a compliment that someone had to be forced into giving you.
Especially not if that forced compliment is coming from your husband on the day you get married.
A Little Dirty Dancing
Regardless of the reason that the groom was in the corner throwing up (though, we are very curious), it does not bode well for them that his bride didn't care.
And then to add insult to injury, it's not just that his bride didn't care. She didn't care because she was busy dancing with the best man.
A John Wayne Wedding
It would be the true icing on the cake if the wedding itself also somehow happened to have a rustic Western theme to it.
Though the bride probably still would have been equally upset even if it was on theme.
Must Have Been An Important Text
Even though the guests weren't able to be there in person, they could still virtually determine that the marriage probably wasn't going to last.
Unless she was somehow solving world peace with that text message or saving a life, it could have waited until after they exchanged vows.
Mother Knows Best
First of all, who even has a divorce party? Is that something that people are doing? If you think that the alcohol is flowing at a wedding, imagine what it would be like at a divorce party.
Secondly, you know that this mother is going to be smug in the future about the fact that she was right. You'll never hear the end of it.
Capturing The Non-Existent Chemistry
Chemistry is not the only thing that's needed to make a marriage work, but it certainly helps.
There's only so much a videographer can do if the couple doesn't have the spark. He's still got a wedding film to make.
Swapping Out The Groom For Another
The DJ probably showed up at the wedding venue on the day off thinking that the couple had worked out their issues.
He was probably very surprised to discover the bride had performed a swap and was marrying a different person.
Sounds Like Someone Was Hangry
The staff in this situation were basically set up to fail. You couldn't force her to eat when the meal was originally served because she's the bride, and also an adult who isn't your responsibility.
You also can't leave chicken just sitting out for three hours, so they had to pack it up.
Kicked Out Of His Own Party
If your husband-to-be was kicked out of your engagement party for punching another one of the guests, would you still be having a wedding?
The bride wasn't surprised, so maybe this wasn't the first incident. I wonder if they made it down the aisle after that.
Then Why Go Through With It?
If someone who doesn't even know the couple all that well—like the violinist you hire for your wedding—can tell that you don't want to get married, surely someone closer to the couple should be able to tell too.
It makes you wonder about the reasoning behind a couple going through with a wedding if everyone can sense that it's the wrong choice.
She Overcompensated For Those Nerves
There are pre-wedding jitters, and then there's this level of nervousness. If you get this drunk before your wedding, there's a lot more than a few moments of insecurity happening.
The fact that they're now divorced goes to show that her nerves may have been coming from a legitimate place.
The Third Time Really Is The Charm
So she has a type and she intends to stick to it, even if her type is not the right type for her.
It could be worse, though! She could have married three men who all had the same name, or maybe three men who were all childhood best friends.
The Groom Doesn't Get An Opinion About The Cake
It's often the case that the woman in a relationship is more involved in the planning of the wedding than the groom simply because the grooms don't care as much about the details.
However, that doesn't mean that the groom shouldn't be allowed to contribute if he wants. Let the man pick the cake flavor!
When You Know, You Know
It's an old adage in love that "when you know, you know," but even this feels a little bit quick.
Maybe there was a reason that the couple was looking to get engaged and married in the span of one week. A shotgun wedding, perhaps?
Bullies Don't Get Happy Endings
How your girlfriend or your future husband behaves towards customer service staff or service industry workers is an indication of what type of person they are in general.
If your husband is bullying or being rude to the people who are trying to make your wedding a special day, we'd be reconsidering the choice of groom.
Mother Of The Groom Shouldn't Be The Priority
Oh no, no, no. You just know that every other guest at the wedding was sitting at their table watching the groom feed cake to his mother and feeling sorry for the bride.
There is such a thing as being too close to your mother.
This Is Why You Should Trust Your Gut
Having cold feet is one thing, but canceling the wedding twice? That's when someone in your life needs to step in and tell you to listen to your gut.
Even if it'll be embarrassing or you're worried you'll lose out on your deposits, you'll regret it more if you could have prevented the divorce a fortnight later.
She Did Not Have The Family Stamp Of Approval
This would not be the first wedding where the family of the bride or groom wasn't thrilled about the new family member, but it's a bold move to be this open about it.
Most families would at least put in the effort to pretend to like the person their son is marrying, but I guess that's too much to ask.
Against The Odds
This couple still has to deal with knowing that no one in their family thought that their marriage was going to last, but it's nice they proved everyone wrong!
We'd like to petition for the couple to get whatever the amount in the pot was, since they lasted nearly two decades longer than anyone guessed.