Kids Who Prove The Children Are The Future, And The Future Is Bleak
Look, as a whole, the future seems bright. But when we think of some of the things that kids do, the future looks a whole lot bleaker.
Some kids know how to say their ABCs and how to wait until their mom gets back to eat candy (have you seen the fruit snack challenge?), and some kids, well, some kids lick dolphins. You're going to have to keep reading to get that reference. Things are about to get silly.
Playing Pretend
![Disappointment2016 Reddit tweet: lmao. my 7-year-old little cousin was playing make believe on her toy phone and she said](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Disappointment2016-Reddit-96101.jpg?width=800&height=612)
This girl is using her imagination to pretend she's a grown-up, and we have to say that we think she understands adulthood pretty darn well. Where do you think she heard people talking like this?
That Doesn't Look Safe
![spaget1 Reddit boy on balcony that was turned into a swimming pool](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/spaget1-Reddit-52348.jpg?width=800&height=533)
Okay, this one we really have to blame on the parents. That kid didn't make a swimming pool on his balcony all by himself. He had help from some people who don't care about safety at all.
The Perfect Caption
![thebijou Reddit blurry kid with scared expression, tweet reads:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/thebijou-Reddit-47336.jpg?width=800&height=889)
Somebody captioned this photo "when my son finally starts to disappear after I go back in time and pull out." Wow, that's a savage caption. We kind of love it, though.
Stuck In A Vent
![yatenate Reddit kid crying, half of him in a vent](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/yatenate-Reddit-14940.jpg?width=800&height=533)
This kid decided to see if he could fit into the floor vent in his house after he figured out how to take the cover off. He fit. Now he's stuck.
What Now?
![Reddit key locked onto padlock with caption: my 7 year old son's brilliant way to never lose the only key he has for this lock](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Reddit-96563.jpg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=0&left=0&zoom=1.25)
Alright, so he hasn't lost the key, but now this lock is totally unusable. There's no way to open it because the key can't reach the lock. It's just going to stay locked forever.
You're Killing Her
![DOU8leJ480 Reddit girl pointing at doll in washing machine crying](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/DOU8leJ480-Reddit-16770.jpg?width=800&height=451)
This girl is very upset that her mom put her favorite doll in the washing machine. Sorry, kid, the doll was dirty. It had to be washed. Although we totally get that this looks a little bit scary.
Those Grubs Did Look Delicious
![MGLLN Reddit tweet:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/MGLLN-Reddit-91748.jpeg?width=800&height=533)
Okay, so those bugs did sort of look like delicious candies, and those crunch sounds were so satisfying. I didn't want to eat real bugs, but I did want to eat those bugs.
Why Was Nobody Watching Her?
![peachpeachx Reddit girl put hair removal cream on her head and is now bald](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/peachpeachx-Reddit-62589.jpg?width=800&height=579)
How did this kid have access to hair removal cream? That stuff is noxious. She shouldn't be able to open it or even be around it. We're surprised she didn't burn her eyes with it or something.
Welcome To The Family
![imgur girl giving the finger to new baby](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/imgur-17942.jpg?width=800&height=533)
This baby got a warm welcome to the world from her older sister. I'm sure this kid didn't mean to flip off a baby. Maybe she was just trying to say "you're number one!"
That's Not How Age Works
![oumahgad Reddit text reading: 9yo cousin: do you smoke? Me: yes. 9yo: do you know that smoking shortens your life? Me: yeah I know. 9yo: how old are you? Me: 18. 9yo: you would have been 28 by now.](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/oumahgad-Reddit-49808.jpg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=38&left=0&zoom=1.25)
Look, this kid is absolutely right that smoking shortens your life (or at least it could), but it doesn't literally take 10 years off of your current age. That's not what they mean when they say it takes 10 years off your life.
Time To Feed The Cat
![KittyKanuckles Reddit cat looking at orange in food bowl with caption](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/KittyKanuckles-Reddit-72446.jpg?width=800&height=800)
This kid decided that he wanted to give his kitty some dinner. He put a whole orange in the cat's bowl and walked away. The poor cat looks very confused.
Okay, That's Worse
![jaywill808 Reddit text: So kids aren't allowed to play tag at school...so my kids played coronavirus. they couldn't touch but coughed on each other to 'tag' them....](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/jaywill808-Reddit-18059.jpg?width=800&height=366)
The reason these kids aren't allowed to play tag is so they don't touch and infect each other with a deadly virus. Coughing on each other is definitely worse than touching.
Name The Baby
![Megpie_01 Reddit baby name suggestions on paper onesies](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Megpie_01-Reddit-80551.jpg?width=800&height=921)
Miss Julie is having a baby, so she asked her students to come up with some possible baby names. Should she go with the name Assie, Racecar, Grandma, Balloon, or Potato?
Ah, The Arctic Wordbank
![gynoceros Reddit arctic animal assignment, kid puts](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/gynoceros-Reddit-23222.jpg?width=800&height=1066)
This kid was asked to match the words in the word bank to the arctic animals on this sheet. He thought that "word bank" was the name of an animal. Nice try, kid.
Some Busses Can't Be Ridden
![IrfanMizra Reddit crying kid sitting on couch with caption](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/IrfanMizra-Reddit-73830.jpg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=76&left=0&zoom=1.25)
There are some buses in this world that you just can't get on. A lot of those buses are on TV. This kid hasn't grasped the idea of projected images yet.
Just A Nice View
![Hoshigakiandy Reddit sad girl on top of mountail](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Hoshigakiandy-Reddit-64192.jpg?width=800&height=725)
This girl hiked up an entire mountain and when she got to the top, she was disappointed to discover that there was nothing up there but a nice view. She looks upset.
Those Eyes, Though
![DoctorMemePHD Reddit baby with really wide eyes and caption:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/DoctorMemePHD-Reddit-99777.jpg?width=800&height=1066)
I'm not sure what this mom did to get this look from her newborn son, but it must have been something crazy. Though, I guess the whole world is pretty crazy when it's new to you.
The Windex Looked Delicious
![DilligentCrab Reddit toddler girl crying in kitchen with caption](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/DilligentCrab-Reddit-26066.jpg?width=800&height=838)
This little girl is thirsty, but she's not in the mood for water or milk. She wants a nice big glass of cleaning fluid. It's a good thing mom is on the case.
The Stupidest Rumor
![Beard4Liberty Reddit Forum post: What's the dumbest rumor you've heard about yourself? Response: when I was in middle school people were saying that I was home schooled. Even though I went to school.](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Beard4Liberty-Reddit-18325.jpg?width=800&height=521)
What do these kids think homeschooling is? How could this kid possibly be homeschooled if he showed up at school every day? They wouldn't know him if he was homeschooled.
Just A Girl And Her Plastic Owl
![@tastefactory twitter two year old girl with plastic owl with tweet:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@tastefactory-twitter-53999.jpg?width=800&height=765)
Some kids have teddy bears, some have favorite blankets, but this girl has a plastic owl. She takes this plastic owl everywhere with her. She eats with it, she sleeps with it, and she carries it around the house.
Not Her Family
![@jordieham Twitter Family portrait with toddler posing. Tweet reads:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@jordieham-Twitter-87006.jpg?width=800&height=946)
This little girl just decided to hop into some other family's photo. The family doesn't seem to mind all that much, though. The kid is pretty darn cute, after all.
Meals Are Just Big Snacks
![@kids_kubed Twitter tweet: 3: Mommy, I don't want dinner! Me: I'm not making dinner, I'm making you a big snack. 3: Yay! Snacks!](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@kids_kubed-Twitter-64863.jpg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=3&left=0&zoom=1.25)
We don't understand how kid brains work. It's a good thing this mom does, though. She figured out how to get her kids excited about dinner just by changing up her wording.
The Best Knock-Knock Joke
![@sarahdelri0 Twitter tweet:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@sarahdelri0-Twitter-10595.jpg?width=800&height=407)
Two-year-olds know how to tell the best knock-knock jokes. They don't really get how joke structure works, so they end up just making it up as they go along, and it's always great.
A Purse Full Of Cheese Puffs
![@LoveInTheSky Twitter toddler has cheese puffs in her purse](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@LoveInTheSky-Twitter-66862.jpg?width=800&height=656)
This girl carries her little pink purse with her wherever she goes. What's in that pink purse, you ask? Snacks, of course. Lots and lots of snacks. She loves her cheese puffs.
Happy Birthday, Sis
![@chandhutch Twitter kid in dog cage 'time out' with tweet:](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@chandhutch-Twitter-94296.jpg?width=800&height=933)
What a touching birthday message from a brother to his sister. He did put her in a dog cage when she was younger, so he kind of owes her nice birthday messages for the rest of their lives.
A Gentle Kiss
![@gothamsbatman Twitter kid licking dolphin](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@gothamsbatman-Twitter-86452.jpg?width=800&height=1038)
The Dolphin Bay instructor told this kid to gently kiss the dolphin. This is what this kid thinks gentle kissing looks like. He's going to need a lot of help when he starts dating.
A Present For Mom
![@arieella_ Twitter](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@arieella_-Twitter-13094.jpg?width=800&height=959)
This mom paid for her kid to attend expensive art classes, and this is what he makes and brings home. What's she supposed to do with this chef's kiss hand?
Father's Day Breakfast
![@joeheenan Twitter shark toy and lego on toast and tea with caption](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@joeheenan-Twitter-51530.jpg?width=800&height=962)
This kid decided to make his dad a nice breakfast for Father's Day. All he knew how to make was toast with toys on it and what looks like an old tea bag in a glass.
Smart Kid
![@FrankIero Twitter tweet: my son just locked himself in a dog cage. ...so we're thinking Harvard.](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@FrankIero-Twitter-81575.jpeg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=196&left=254&zoom=1.80640936623)
It honestly does take some high-level thinking to lock yourself in a dog cage. How did he manage to close the latch while he was on the inside? He's a genius.
Kids Are Slow Eaters
![@bourgeoisalien Twitter tweet: probably the most valid reason to have a kid is if you ever wanted to watch another person take two hours to eat 5 apple slices](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/@bourgeoisalien-Twitter-28643.jpeg?b=0&c=0&width=800&height=533&top=163&left=230&zoom=1.55924082124)
It's amazing how long it can take kids to complete simple tasks. If you've ever seen a kid eat a cut up apple, you know how true that statement really is.