Married Couples Having Some Laughs
The married life isn't for everyone. Specific quirks about it make it difficult for some, but if you can withstand those, you're in good hands.
It'll soon become a partnership more than anything, and at that point, things can get a little funny. Married people took to Twitter to share hilarious and heartwarming moments.
Must Be A Funny Man
Her husband must be a funny man, or maybe he just watched The Office too much. If he walks around the house using that phrase often, I can only imagine what it's like living with him.
So Sorry To Disappoint
I'm sure this wife didn't like it when her husband woke up scared to see his lover. It probably hurt a little inside, which manifested as this hilarious tweet for the world to see.
Sounds Cruel But Hilarious
To hope that someone you love burns the roof of their mouth while eating pizza is a true sign of romance, in a way. It's a very intimate form of revenge daydream. You wouldn't want that to happen to someone you don't know.
How Does That Work?
I can understand why she doesn't want to listen to your problems right now. Who dares to eat spaghetti with only a spoon? It sounds like something only a toddler would do.
How Dare You Fall Asleep So Early!
You shouldn't fall asleep before your partner if he or she has to stay up. Make yourself look busy so you can pass out with no issues from your significant other.
The Last Straw
This man shouldn't have ever let the phrase "okey dokey, artichokey" leave his mouth. That was all she needed to want a divorce lawyer, and now their household is probably in shambles.
Who's Considering It?
Let this man's message be a warning for those considering getting in a relationship. Getting yelled at for walking too loudly sounds like it could be a little much for some.
That's Exactly What He Wanted
The funny thing is that she is probably right about what he wanted. The Costco lines can be massive, and waiting isn't fun for some people. Hopefully, the ice didn't melt.
Right Down The Drain It Goes
At least she has enough awareness of her husband's actions to recognize this. He's probably spent thousands in the past already, and she knows good and well at least $500 will be gone upon his return.
A Tough Pill To Swallow
You can only keep a ruse going for so long. This lady knows that and wishes quarantine wasn't in effect anymore. The more time they spend together the more he sees her true light.
That's One Way To Ignore Him
This is a trick adults know from childhood. Whenever parents tried to call you when you were young, turning up the TV was the best excuse that let you say you couldn't hear anything.
It's A Special Skill Men Might Never Learn
Wow, how impressive and comical is this? Imagining someone sighing through an argument and still winning is unbelievable. What was this man saying to lose that badly? I need to see footage of this conversation.
Yeah, She Knows What She's Doing
Requesting a haircut from your wife during quarantine was the best option many people had. It was either that or let your hair grow and become as wild and unruly as possible.
He's Grown To Expect It
Smacking your man on the butt sounds like something he wouldn't like unless he was an athlete. She probably did it so much that he grew accustomed to it. She shouldn't have ever started.
He's Warning Us
This man gets cold at night and would like a little more warmth. If his wife feels the slightest change in temperature, it's likely that he may never be seen again.
It's Probably A Test
This man had better remember what his wife's favorite cake is so he can go get it before she does. If she comes home and doesn't see that he also bought a cake, he's failed the test.
Sighing Never Made Things Better
There's no telling how many times this husband sighs when his wife puts on the show he told her he hates. His only option is to power through and sigh.
Snoring Can Mess Everything Up
If you snore, you automatically get added to a special list. Getting into an argument before bed only to snore while the other person sleeps is a formula for destruction.
Should He Put On Something More Comfortable?
What is the proper attire for quarantine at your house? Does his wife want him to wear something business casual for their kitchen talks? This man is probably so confused.
One Of Those Days
After weeks of quarantine, even the calendar becomes a puzzling conundrum. What day is it today? Does it matter? Is time real? Has there ever been another day than the one we live through every day, over and over? Oh, no—I got this—it's Wednesday.
Sounds Like Fun!!
Hey, if he won't argue with you about rice early in the morning, then who else will? It's conversations like that which keep the love flourishing and the people on their toes.
She Wanted No Part Of That Question
Pretending to be sleep is always a great option when you want to get out of something. A tough question like this is the perfect time to use the tactic.
That's It. That's The Fantasy
It might seem like a trivial fantasy, but it's one that will save this marriage. Quarantine hasn't done many favors for families except help them spend more time together. That can sometimes be a bad thing.
"Oopsie" Is Right
This man pretty much wrote his death sentence with that tweet. I'm not sure if he really didn't know his wife was on Twitter too, but it makes for amazing content.
Take The Fries From His Mouth
Sometimes married couples who are really in sync can anticipate each other. Like this husband, who had already jammed his mouth full of fries, knowing his loving wife would offer.
He's A Smart Man
Why would he make an account when he can just listen to her tell him all the funny stuff? Did she fail to realize that's how the relationship continues to thrive?
Pretty Sure This Happens With Every Couple
I'm pretty sure you don't have to be married to experience this. Girlfriends and wives will both make the men wait when it's time to go. They need to make sure they're looking their best.
She Needed To Make Sure
He shouldn't take this personally. She's checking before she comes home to it and it's not up to her standards, which might cause an argument. Let her check all she wants.
He Doesn't Know What Sexy Is
You can't blame this woman if her husband doesn't know what sexy is. He's helping her by letting her know his honest opinion, so he shouldn't feel too bad about it.
It's All Fun And Games Until...
Sure, participating in new activities with your wife is fun. When he or she starts making you do more of the tasks, that's when it can become an issue for those involved.
Blankets Are The Number One Cause Of Divorce
Disclaimer: These statistics are purely based on intuition and not at all on proven studies. Except sometimes speaking from experience is all the information that you need. Personal studies also show that even bigger blankets somehow manage to still be stolen by the wife.
Snooze Until You Lose
We've all been guilty of setting 3-5 alarms in the morning and still snoozing each one at least 3 times. Part of love and marriage is being supportive of sleeping through the start of each day.
Wild Friday Night Plans
Who says Friday nights after marriage start to get dull? You can always count on arguments about nothing that came out of nowhere to keep you on your toes and keep the marriage exciting.
Only One Is Always Right
It's not about getting what you actually want, it's about the illusion of being given the choice. If you agree with them it's like you made the decision together, even though it has nothing to do with what you actually wanted.
Grocery Store Date Nights
Sometimes you just really need a reason to get out of the house and away from your spouse, and the grocery store seems like a fun escape even if all you need to get is a bag of grapes.
When A Gown Man Gets Sick
Somehow, when a grown man gets sick, he reverts back to his seven-year-old self. His whole life goes on pause, and the wife goes from partner to doctor, cook, mother, and caretaker, all in one hour. Yet when the wife is sick, life proceeds as usual.
No Longer Needing To Impress
Remember in the early days of the relationship when they used to cook for you and want to spoil you? Those days are long gone and if you get them to cook once every 13 years, you consider that a win.
Hidden In Plain Sight
How is it that when the husband looks for something for an hour he keeps coming back empty-handed and a hundred percent sure it's nowhere to be found. But when the wife goes looking, within 3.5 seconds she comes back with it smirking "it was right there!"
White Lies
Although honesty is the best policy, sometimes when your pride is on the line, you must pick between proving to your wife she was right all along (which you will never live down) or making up some kind of insane story.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
There's a reason that saying exists. Sometimes you've got to compromise, and by compromise I mean do exactly what the wife wanted and not at all what you wanted to keep peace in the household.