Kids are so funny. They think they’re so smart and know everything, but they also believe that covering their eyes with their hands makes them invisible. From secret snacks to sly toy side hustles, you’ll want to go check yourself what your kid is hiding.
The Way To A Man’s Heart Is Riavioli
“A few years ago, I was going through my son’s (3rd grade) backpack and found a can of ravioli. That’s all well, except I never bought any ravioli. When I asked him about it, he burst into tears and pulled out a box under his bed filled with Ravioli!
“He then proceeded to tell me how this girl that picks on him and says they are married gives him ravioli every day and makes him take it. I can just picture this girl’s mother telling her the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” —Lael_Annaed
Outsmarting His Own Parents At 3 Years Old
“My 3-year-old son ‘lost’ his ball. When asked, he said he didn’t know where it was. We assumed it had been left outside to blow away in a storm or some kid took it. So we bought him a new ball.
“As soon as we gave it to him, he said ‘Thanks! I’ll get my other ball!’ He then ran straight to a bush in the neighbor’s yard and pulled out his ball.” —ElKirbyDiablo
Just Act Like Nothing Happened
“My two year old dropped our Echo and it split into two pieces. She attempted to sandwich it back together and put it back where it was.
“Now she says things like ‘Alexa play Mickey Mouse’ and then when nothing happens she says, ‘Uh oh Alexa what happened?’ You know damn well what happened.” —throwawaybutnotrlly
The Beginnings Of An Artist
“She’s slowly been collecting pens and hiding them in her toys. So far, no coloring outside of paper and coloring books, though. So I’m letting her get away with it.” —1drlndDormie
Who wants to bet one day she’s going to move a piece of furniture one day and find a whole artistic tableau behind it?
Someone’s Not Eating All Their Vegetables
“My daughter throws her lettuce under the table for the dog to eat. The dog doesn’t like lettuce.” —IrksomePigeon
The real question is how long did it take for the parents to notice the pile of lettuce, and how big was the pile by then?
Getting Ripped From A Young Age
“I just found out that my 6-year-old locks the bathroom door so he can get some privacy. Last night I looked across the kitchen to see the door slightly ajar and my son engaging in… push-ups.
“I didn’t say anything, just watched him finish his five reps, flex in the mirror and then walk out of the bathroom.” —crichins
An Innocent Crime
“My 7-year-old son ate half my bag of gummy bears. I know. He knows I know. I know he knows I know. I don’t think he knows I know he knows I know. So now we wait until he cracks…” —throwmeawaypoopy
Update: He did confess the crime that night. The truth always comes out.
Invisible Powers Activated
“My 3-year-old thinks I don’t know that she raids the snack cupboard when I’m out of the room (her face is usually full of chocolate after).
“She also thinks I can’t see her when she covers her eyes, so sneaks around me thinking she’s in stealth mode to get to something she shouldn’t.” —melanieavellano
Practice Makes Perfect
“My daughter is trying to impress me by learning origami. She’s 7 and doesn’t think that Dad can see all the missing paper and the (messy but improving a lot) paper cranes hidden throughout her room.
“I bought two more reams of paper and just left them out on accident…” —SleepyLinkOfficial
A Lawyer In The Making
Forget wills and prenups. This 4-year-old is ahead of his time: “My 4-year-old ‘wrote’ a letter she keeps in her bottom drawer. When me and my husband, die she will come home and get it.
“We’re not allowed to look at it or touch it, but apparently it says that we gave her loads of money and she gave us loads of pictures. I’m not sure what this says about her or us, but it will be interesting how long she keeps said letter.” —IdlyBrowsing
Nothing Like A Tomato As A Midnight Snack
“My kid would get up in the middle of the night and want a snack. He would sneak into the kitchen and eat a whole tomato except the little circle where it connected to the stem.
“He hid the little stem circles under whatever was on top of the trash and would go to sleep. We always made sure there were tomatoes for him.” —chisleu
Good on him for having such healthy midnight cravings.
The Utmost Organization
“My 9-year-old stepdaughter was in her room one day for hours with markers and papers. I thought she was drawing or making a picture book or something so I let it slide.
“It turns out she had our calendar and was making cards for everyone for every holiday and birthday coming up. I haven’t asked her about it, but I’m honestly super proud of her logic and longterm planning abilities.” —ApexBarber
This 9-year is more prepared and organized than most common adults.
“Not a parent, but my parents think I’m hiding a girlfriend.” —Mathematical_Pie
If you’re still single and over the age of 25, then you understand the pressure and judgment that accompany every family dinner because you haven’t brought someone home to settle down with yet. You definitely would not be hiding them the day you finally get one.
A Magical Act
“Hiding himself every time it’s close to bedtime. My 2-year-old thinks I’ll forget to put him to bed if he runs into another room for 30 seconds.” —sentientketchup
There’s some logic to his thinking…out of sight, out mind, right?
No Permission Required
“He’s 18. He will wait until we go to bed and then hop the back fence to go to 7 Eleven for a Slurpee. After a couple of weeks of this we confronted him and told him:
“One, you’re 18 so there is no curfew. Second, hopping fences looks like criminal activity and our neighborhood watch is on point. Third, You have a driver’s license so take the car. Finally, don’t act like you’re fooling us. You’re an adult now. Want a Slurpee? Go get it. You have money.” —oatbergen
A Wild Imagination Shows Creativity
“My almost 2-year-old has started telling me crazy stories as if they are real. He recently told me that our dog rides a motorcycle to go play with her friends.” —ASOIAFGymCoach73
It sounds like what’s being hidden here is the truth. Where do you draw the line between teaching them not to lie and seeing how far their creative imagination can take them?
Young Puppy Love
“He has a crush on the babysitter and tries to draw hearts to give to her. He also proposed. He is 6.” —LucretiusCarus
Maybe romance isn’t dead yet! It’s just hiding in the next generation. Give him a few more years and this kid will be breaking hearts.
Don’t Save For Tomorrow What You Can Eat Today
“When my son was 5, he stashed a bunch of blueberries under his pillow for later. Problem is, not only did they get squished on night one, but he forgot about them until we changed his sheets a few days later.” —gellman
On the bright side, the stains from the blueberries might have made for some really cool free designs on the sheets and pillow.
A Not-So-Hidden Secret
“My 15-year-old is trying to hide the fact that he’s found a girlfriend, he thinks he’s really smart by just saying he’s going out to get food every now and then, but it’s so easy to tell that he’s going to see someone.
“Also, his girlfriend snitched on him, she told us that she liked him…” —CorridorCrocodile
Just A Quick Side Hustle
“Our 9-year-old son is taking his marbles to school and screwing other kids out of their marbles. He’s got a real hustle going on there.
“He’s not allowed to take any toys to school, hence why he’s hiding it. I checked his school backpack and found probably a kilogram worth of marbles in there.” —Timmy_94
This kid has a real bright future in business.
This Is Why The “No Food Upstairs” Rule Exists
“They sneak food up to their rooms so they can game and digest at the same time, but forget to bring the dishes downstairs.
“When I get in a hissyfit because I have to make my sandwich on a Tupperware lid, they swear they have NOT used any plates, but when I enter my kitchen later, a wonky tower of china looms in my sink for me to Jenga-wash.” —MamaLiq
“When I was in 3rd grade, I didn’t do my homework and my parents needed to sign a form acknowledging I didn’t.
“I forged my mom’s signature as ‘Mom Jones.’ I had no clue my Mom’s name wasn’t Mom.” —SpicerJones
It was clever until it wasn’t, but in his defense, how long did it take most of us to find our parents’ real names?
It’s A Rich Man’s World
“My 6-year-old got out of bed early on Sunday morning to sneak downstairs and steal Monopoly money from the bank in the unfinished game from the night before which was left out on the table.” —robotron20
I guess you begin to understand the value of money at quite a young age.
A Quick Game Of Hide And Seek
“The remote. He’s only 16 months old but damn good at hiding things. I tore the living room apart and no luck. The next logical step is to waterboard his teddy bear.” —WoodysHat
He probably just wanted to keep his parents entertained with a quick game of hide and seek!
Can’t Hold Hands And Hide Toys All At Once
“We also have a rule about holding hands in parking lots. When I went to grab his hand to walk into school, he just shook his head no. I told him to grab my hand again, and again he said no. This went back and forth until I gave him my ‘serious dad face.’
“Eventually, he relented, held out his hand to grab mine, and about a dozen Matchbox cars fell out of his shirt, which he was apparently holding up with his hand. We have a rule that they’re not allowed to bring toys to school…” —Darth_Draper
Secret Reading Time
“My daughter (who’s 9) thinks she’s being crafty hiding a book under her pillow to read after bedtime. I’ve known for about a year and let her have half an hour ‘secret reading time’ after she goes to bed.” —YorkshireWitch
On the bright side there a lot worse things she could secretly be doing after bedtime. Especially with kids being glued to their phones and iPads so much these days.
Just Needs A Little Privacy
“My 2.5-year-old daughter hides every time she poops.
“She starts by asking ‘am I wearing a diaper?’ Then she loudly announces that she’s ‘going to hide over there.’ If I ask her if she’s pooping, she screams at me ‘don’t say those words! I’m just hiding!!!'” —amsplur
A Little More Effort Required
“My kids are little (4 and 8). Little one constantly eating in his room and in MY BED, denies it when I find it.
“Older one sneaks and eats in her room but then leaves the wrappers/dishes in there so I see them when I walk by. Every. Time.” —bradthemadcat
All they have to do is clean up and the mom would never know!
R.I.P. To All The Stolen Noses
“My nose. But I’ll find it someday, you mark my words!” —HueyLewisAndTheBrews
Did you ever wonder as a kid what would happen if one day your parents said “I got your nose!” and then lost it or didn’t give it back? Why is this considered cute? It’s terrifying from the gullible kid’s perspective.
The Smell Eventually Gives It Away
“After every meal, my 7-year-old has been hiding food she didn’t want to eat underneath the couch (we eat in the living room, small house). I didn’t notice until about a week ago when the entire house smelled like rot. ” —bradthemadcat