Parents Sum Up The Holidays With These Hilariously Accurate Tweets
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and although we might imagine that it would be all fun, joy, beautiful garlands, and wholesome family memories, any parent knows that the reality is a little less picturesque.
These hilarious parents took to Twitter to share their experiences, and we cannot stop laughing.
It's Tough Work, But Someone's Gotta Do It
Online shopping is generally convenient, but sometimes it's truly the only way to get the exact gifts you want for your family. That means you have to protect deliveries with your life.
She Raises Some Points
Okay, as nice as it is to have the person you love near you at Christmas, I feel like there are many other things worth asking for: world peace, a PS5, and a fat check.
For The 'Gram
Of course, as a parent, you want to get a couple of cute photos of your kids helping to decorate the Christmas tree, but I also would never trust the kid to actually do any decorating.
Add Toilet Paper To It Too!
As soon as December hits, anything and everything you buy for your children can count as a Christmas present: paper towels, new pencils for homework, a package of Goldfish crackers, etc.
Seriously, What Do You Buy A 17-Year-Old?
When your children are younger, it's pretty easy to figure out what toys are popular that year and match them to your child's interests. However, what do teens even like apart from talking back?
They Disappear So Quickly
Making Christmas cookies is all fun and games until you realize that it takes hours of making dough, rolling it out, baking it, and then carefully decorating each cookie only for your family to eat them all in minutes.
Keep Your "Update" For Next Year
There has to be a deadline for adding items to the Christmas list. Like, after December 5th, no further requests are able to be processed by the elves at the North Pole.
This Is A Pretty Effective Strategy
![daughter: and this one? me: also carrots daughter: I don't like carrots me: I know [how I've kept my 3 year old from opening the family gifts under the tree]](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/carrots-under-the-tree-24907.jpg?width=480 "carrots under the tree")
It's so funny how all the gifts underneath the tree somehow just happen to contain carrots inside of the wrapping rather than toys and treats his daughter might be interested in.
Perhaps Also 5+ Years Of Manufacturing Experience
Why are children's toys so difficult to assemble? I've put together countless pieces of furniture and fixed the plumbing in the house, but a mini-kitchen is going to be my downfall?
A Silver Lining
As a parent, I know we're supposed to love and enjoy our children's artistic endeavors, but I truly would rather get punched in the face than attend another elementary school holiday concert.
Try Getting Adopted By Elon Musk
Kids will put over $1000 worth of toys, video game systems, and clothing as if being a parent isn't a wage-less job. Do I look like I have the same budget as Beyoncé?
It's All About The Spirit Of The Season
You'll do your absolute most as parents to try and create wholesome holiday memories with your children, but all your children want to do is watch YouTube videos of others' holiday memories.
Parents—Prepare Yourselves
For a moment, having the kids home for the holidays feels like it would be a nice time to bond. However, after about two days, you're going to be praying schools reopen.
Patience Is Growing Painfully Thin
After spending hours of your time and tons of money picking out gifts for your kids and painstakingly wrapping each item, your child will still have the audacity to criticize your work. Unbelievable.
They Are So Capricious
I love that children are very curious and are constantly expanding their interests, but it's very difficult as a parent to try to keep up with their revolving door of obsessions.
'Tis The Season!
First of all, I don't think eliminating two letters from the word "for" and then leaving all the other words at the full length is really an efficient way to abbreviate, but I will say that this girl hit the nail on the head for the mood.
Nothing Like Holiday Traditions
Is there anything that is more important to the holidays than having your kids act like little brats to the point that you threaten to go full Grinch on the family?
It Makes Sense Now
On the whole, the little drummer boy doesn't make any sense to me. Mary just spent hours trying to get this newborn to sleep and some kid rolled up like TIME TO DRUM!
Finally, Some Sense
I am thoroughly jealous of this guy. I sincerely wish that my children had this attitude so that I wouldn't have to layer up in sub-20° F weather to build a snowman.
The Math Isn't Mathing Right
You know what? Sometimes, as parents, we just need a little alone time, and during the holidays we get to switch it up from "I'm pooping right now" to "I'm wrapping presents!"
Get Your Own $400
Kids these days really be asking for the most as if life isn't expensive enough for adults. Asking for games might have been okay, but a full $400? Here's a job listing for Wendy's.
That Comparison Was So Unnecessary
This son could have just said that he was fat while cosplaying Santa, but he truly woke up and chose aggression by deciding to throw his father under the bus in the process.
Ho Ho Ho! Prime
Some might say that Amazon is better at being Santa than actual Santa because it offers same-day shipping (no waiting for Christmas Eve) and also doesn't demand a cookie and milk tax.
The Origin Story For "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
There are some Christmas songs that I've always found wildly unnecessary, including this one, but I have to say that it might have some validity—although, Santa Claus would be wrestling mommy in this case.
This Kid Is The Bear Grylls Of Christmas
Not only would this ploy manage to capture Santa Claus, but it would also likely work on college students, desperate housewives, Aunt Karen, and, honestly, just about everyone I know.
This Kid Is Thinking Profit
First of all, coal is pretty expensive in this day and age. Second of all, this kid is thinking about the long-term returns on getting a "punishment" and converting it into a valuable product. Send them to business school.
It's The Little Things
It always amazes me the things that kids will take away from a certain experience. Their minds latch onto the weirdest things. You'll make a big plan only for them to care about something they could have done at home.
Mother #&@*$%!!!!!!
Making homemade cookies for your family may seem like a good idea in theory, but in reality, it is a lot of work with things going wrong and a ton of cursing.
Kids And Housecats Have A Lot In Common
Much like with a cat, you could spend hundreds of dollars on something for your children only for them to be more entertained by a large box or a plastic bag.
It's Infuriating
There is nothing more painful than letting your child try to assemble a gingerbread house without a single consideration for its structural integrity, and without even considering the importance of the icing.
