We all believed some weird things when we were younger. Some of us thought that the world was flat (some of us still do), some of us thought that babies grew on trees, and some of us totally misunderstood what certain words meant. The world is a strange, new place when you’re young. It takes a while to get used to it and to figure out how it works.
These people decided to share the weird things they believed when they were kids with the internet.
Don’t Drink And Drive
Reddit user juicehouse thought “that drinking and driving meant any kind of drinking.” Imagine not being able to drink a water bottle or a coffee while you’re driving to work.
The First Lady
Reddit user Pgwygn wrote, “I thought Barbara Bush was Eve from the Bible. The news said she was the first lady, and I didn’t know what else that could mean. And she did look pretty old from my perspective.”
Reddit user thats-my-plan wrote, “My parents used to say they worked to make money, so I thought their job was actually printing money.”
We all have to work for a living. I’m sure it’s somebody’s parents’ job to print money.
Reddit user LateEstimate6 wrote, “My brother is quite a few years older than me and liked to tell me little fibs all the time. Some of the more memorable ones include him telling me that our uncle invented hamburgers, and that lemonade has a little bit of pig pee in it.”
A Fear Of Escalators
Reddit user seesnawsnappy believed that “escalators would consume me if I didn’t step off fast enough.”
I mean, that’s not exactly false. You could actually get your clothes caught in those escalator teeth.
A Black And White World
This Reddit user wrote, “My dad convinced me that before Kodak invented color drops for your eyes, the world was all black and white and that’s why old films are in black-and-white.”
The Pokémon Problem
Reddit user UWYO-Agent thought “that when I turned 10, I would be able to see Pokémon in the world. My 10th birthday was a little disappointing.”
Now we have Pokémon Go, so we actually can see Pokémon in the world.
Master-Weather-9898 thought that “being fired at work meant you were actually incinerated.”
Well, that’s a little harsh. Imagine being burned because you showed up late or didn’t finish your work on time.
A Too-Small TV
Reddit user rceg wrote, “I thought my TV was too small to see adults in shows like Tom and Jerry and The Powerpuff Girls.” Kids’ shows really liked to crop adults out of the frame.
How Microwaves Work
This Reddit user wrote, “To microwave something you had to put in a code that corresponded with the time. I was really confused when I found out you just entered the time.”
A Live Performance
Reddit user bigmonsterdeliciosa wrote, “I thought actors performed the movie every time I put in the VHS tape.” Imagine if every actor was just on stand-by to perform our favorite movies whenever we wanted.
Fake Grass Or Foie Gras?
Reddit user EliasDontHurtEm wrote, “I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste.”
The Theory Of Evolution
Reddit user retropomme wrote, “I was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding, humans were monkeys in the very beginning. I got into a huge argument with a classmate because I was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother’s womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.”
Living On Your Own
Porcelain_Peony believed “that I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.”
I hate to break it to you dear, but that’s called solipsism. Some adults still believe in it.
Cats And Dogs
Reddit user mitjulep30 wrote that she believed “That all dogs are male and all cats are female.” This person must not have been around many animals when she was a kid.
Batteries Not Included
Reddit user KeyserUnderwood wrote, “When I was like 4 or 5, I used to think that when a toy commercial said ‘batteries not included,’ it meant batteries not required. I’d often use it as a selling point to convince my mom to buy it for me, ‘Mom! It even says batteries not included!'”
What Lurks In The Basement
Reddit user Endless_Winter_ wrote, “Once I turned the lights off downstairs, I had to hurry up and get upstairs. If I didn’t get upstairs quickly enough, glow in the dark mummies were going to come out of the VCR.”
Not A Salad Bar
Reddit user jmglor wrote, “I thought a salad bar was like a candy bar. Like all of the ingredients of a salad smashed into a bar that you held in your hand and ate.”
Not How TVs Work
Reddit user bobwantstoknow wrote, “I thought that if we had a larger TV I would be able to see more of the scene, but I also understood that if I saw more I would see the edge of the set, light rigging, etc.”
Reddit user kalooboo wrote, “I didn’t know the difference between pedestrian and Presbyterian so I thought you had to go to a different church if you didn’t have a car.”
Reddit user Daikataro wrote, “18 is a magical gate threshold where money starts flowing, you’re no longer bound by any rules, you can do whatever you please all day, and you will answer to no one but yourself.”
Timezones Are A Thing
Reddit user unkownuser_2001 wrote, “The concept of time zones didn’t occur to me as a kid. So I use to think that it was always the same time across the world.”
Other Countries On Earth
Reddit user I-Have-No-Idea wrote, “I thought that the whole earth was my country and somewhere in space there was: Germany, Great Britain, USA, Canada, etc.” This guy was 5 years old at the time.
Mom’s Real Name
Reddit user thinginthe_mouthface thought that her mom’s name was actually “mom.” She must have been really confused when she realized that other kids call their moms “mom” too. Kids are weird.
A New Name
Reddit user Breadhead2050 “thought you had an adult name when you grow up.” They thought you had to get rid of your old kid name and go by a more mature name.
Not How A Credit Card Works
Reddit user Andersgf wrote, “If you use a credit card you don’t have to pay for the thing. It’s free!” Some adults still make this joke to cashiers all over the world.
Organs All Over
Reddit user jukeboxheroine wrote, “My sister convinced me that if I stuck my finger in my belly button, the ‘knot’ (tied by the doctors, of course) would come undone and my organs would spill out”
Close Your Eyes
Reddit user Nuclear_Knight_ wrote, “I used to believe that people can only see if my eyes are open so I try my best not to blink so people could see.”
This Reddit user wrote, “I used to think that when people moved houses they just switched houses with the person selling the home.” That would be super convenient if real estate worked that way.
Working At The Kindergarten
Reddit user odiggitynodoubt wrote, “That Kindergarten was my new job, I was there to earn a living for the family. I colored and decorated my butt off.” At least he was a good worker.