When you’re a kid, a lot of the things you think and believe don’t really make a lot of sense in the grand scheme of things. However, when your whole world is one block wide, it’s easy to create monsters out of the strangest things.
On Reddit, people came together to share the harmless things they were terrified of as kids, and the results are hilarious.
In Their Defense, They Do Look Like Rotating Knives
“Ceiling fans. I was afraid that it would come off the ceiling still spinning and chop me up like helicopter blades.”
Here’s the thing: if a ceiling fan flew out of its fixture, I think it really could be dangerous.
This Noise Was The Worst Part Of A VHS Tape
“The THX sound effect that preceded most movies in the early 2000s. It always scared me as a kid. I listened to it last night and it still makes me uncomfortable. Not sure why.”
The Movies Made Creaky Floorboard So Ominous
“Whenever the floorboards creaked, I imagined myself or my bed falling through the floor into the basement.”
Honestly, I am a fully grown adult male and I still feel uneasy when they floorboards creak.
I’d Say They’re More Tacky Than Terrifying
“I was scared of lawn flamingos. My big sister told me that they could take your soul if you looked into their eyes, so I’d run past them with my eyes covered.”
But The Water Is Clear…
“For some reason, I believed there were sharks in the swimming pool. Could be 3 feet deep and I was still terrified Jaws was just gonna leave only my trunks floating in the water.”
It’s Like A Horrifying Waterslide!
“I thought the bathtub drain would suck me down with the water.”
I like that this kid didn’t even consider the fact that their body was significantly wider than the hole and therefore couldn’t fall in.
Okay, But I Was Scared Of This Too
“I was terrified of accidentally swallowing seeds from fruits. I was told that they would grow and take over my insides and a tree would eventually burst out of me.”
I Thought I Was Going To Jail
“The FBI warning before movies.”
There was nothing like that anti-piracy warning before movies that made me feel like a criminal even though I had done nothing illegal. They were right, though: I would not steal a purse, but I definitely steal movies now.
Stay In Your Lane!
“That little rope of buoys that separated the deep end from the shallow end in the pool.”
I don’t know why the rope itself would be scary, but I understand being frightened of the deep end.
Watch Out For The Choppers!
“I was so scared of helicopters. I remember freaking out and crying every time I saw one. They were like sky spiders.”
Unfortunately, you can’t just get your dad to squish the helicopter and throw it out.
It Was Even Worse When The Escalator Was Fast
“Escalators terrified me—trying desperately to fit within a rectangle before it becomes a step and jumping off of them at the end to avoid being sucked down into oblivion. There were one or two anecdotal stories from the news that convinced me that they were, in fact, killers.”
You’d Have To Face That Fear A Lot
“The sound of the toilet flush. I would wash my hands first then flush and sprint out of the bathroom.”
I sincerely hope for this person’s sake that they never got the stomach flu.
Today On “Kids Don’t Understand Euphemisms”
“Terry Fox. In Canada, we have Terry Fox Day because this guy, Terry Fox, tried to run across the country on one leg to raise cancer awareness. My child-brain didn’t understand what cancer was and nobody would tell me anything more than ‘it’s what took Terry’s leg’. I assumed it was a person or something.
“So all I knew was that we were doing the Terry Fox Walk because a dead man with one leg said we should spread the word about Cancer who stole his leg and give him money. I was so scared that if I forgot to donate or if I missed the walk that Terry Fox’s ghost would come with whoever Cancer was and take my leg too.”
I Still Run Up The Stairs
“The darkness of the basement terrified me. I’d turn off the lights and then immediately run up the stairs.”
I don’t care how old I get: there is something scary about a dark basement.
Disembowelment Via Belly Button Is An Awful Concept
“I thought that the thing inside a belly button was a knot and I was terrified that it would come undone and all my insides would leak out. I wish I was making this up.”
Teddy Had To Be Sacrificed For The Greater Good
“I was weirdly afraid that someone would stab me in the back in the night. I had a big stuffed bear I slept with on my back, his arms tucked under my armpits. He was Bagel and his job was to give his life for mine.”
Elton John Doesn’t Even Know His Impact
“I was really scared of the song ‘Tiny Dancer’ for a long time. Whenever I heard it, it reminded me of a black and white horror movie (lost to the depths of my memory) where this boy and girl were running through cornfields from something you couldn’t see.”
Today’s Kids Will Never About The Weird Glow
“Old televisions right after you turned them off, they would glow for a bit. I believed that, during that time, the monsters could come out of the TV and get you.”
Maybe Don’t Take The Kid To Sports Games
“Mascots—the people that dress up in those costumes that are fuzzy and have giant heads TERRIFIED me. I would cling onto my dad and ball my eyes out.
“One time at an amusement park, a guy dressed up as Yogi Bear kept coming towards me despite my terrified screams, and my dad almost had to fight him.”
Monsters, Inc. Scarred So Many Kids
“I could not sleep with my closet door open. I saw way too many movies with scary things in the closet, so I figured a shut door guaranteed my safety. I was a weird kid.”
Why Were We All Afraid Of Quicksand?
I’m not sure why, but so many movies and television shows made for children had the main character nearly perish in a pit of quicksand. I walked around every day in fear that I’d step into it.
There Are So Many Trees
“One of my biggest fears as a child was leaves. One came down out of a tree and hit me in the face when I was 3 years old and freaked me out.”
The Logic Is Pretty Sound
“I was afraid to not wear socks to bed. I thought a toe monster would grab them and pull them off, so wearing socks fooled it into thinking I didn’t have toes.”
“Danny Devito. Nobody knows where the fear came from, but my guess is the movie, Matilda.”
The funniest part is that Danny Devito is known as one of the kindest people in Hollywood.
Living Like A Fugitive Since Age 8
“I was terrified we’d suddenly have to run in the middle of the night—I never knew from what. I kept a ‘go bag’ under my bag with a change of clothes and underwear and shoes and some books and travel games and such. Other than the clothes, everything in the bag was useless.”
10:01 Was Okay, Though
“The time 10:00 was terrifying to me for some reason. I had a digital clock in my room and every night, I asked my mom to flip the clock around so I wouldn’t have to see it. I don’t know why I was such a weird child.”
Tell Her Not To Watch The Movie Up!
“Not me, but my daughter was afraid of balloons. The floating freaked her out. She wasn’t afraid of them because of popping. She was especially scared if she saw a balloon that lost some of its helium and that would hover.”
I Would Have Wanted To Become A Wolf
“I was extremely scared of the moon. I had watched the ‘Thriller’ music video and was convinced that staring up at a full moon would turn me into a werewolf.”
It Would Be So Awful If It Worked That Way
“In second grade, someone dared me to eat a tiny piece of paper, so I did. I cried later that night because I thought I was going to get paper cuts on the inside of my stomach.”
Some Fears Never Leave
“Porcelain dolls. I am 27-years-old now and still terrified.”
I genuinely fear any human who is not afraid of porcelain dolls. The way their eyes roll, their expressions—they are sick creations and anyone who can stand them is sick as well.