Did Anyone Order Turkey? Because These People Got Roasted To Perfection
From random internet strangers to one's own family, no one is immune to getting roasted. Some people even unwittingly roast themselves at times.
And after how the last two years have gone, everyone could use a good laugh. So laugh away at the following people because it's not happening to you!
Keeping An Open Mind
There is no denying that love is a battlefield, and anyone who is trying to navigate today's dating world probably knows that first hand.
But just remember, if you're going to insult someone over something like their appearance, make sure you can take it before dishing it out.
The Worst Country Ever Is Florida
Florida! It's home to Disney World, stunning beaches, everyone's favorite fictional serial killer Dexter Morgan, and the occasional alligator.
It also happens to be the butt of various news headlines and jokes due to its countless crazy residents, and this guy definitely is not helping with its reputation.
She's Already Taken
It goes without saying that hitting on a married man or woman is always off-limits, but then again, you're probably giving humanity too much credit.
This guy got so badly burned he's going to have to jump in a frozen lake to cool down (and then probably delete his Reddit account).
Scooby-Doo Episodes
This new mom did her makeup so she'd look picture perfect in photos where she's holding her newborn baby, but perhaps she shouldn't have gotten her makeup tips from the Joker.
"I don't remember this Scooby-Doo episode," one cheeky Redditor wrote.
The Customer Service Industry
If you're ever worked in the hotel, retail, or restaurant industries, it only takes a few interactions with the general public to realize that people kind of suck.
This one person refused to be polite to people in the industry because they are "below" him but soon learned the harsh lesson that he's actually at the bottom of the food chain.
Twice The Roasting Power
Who hasn't dealt with excessive crying lately?
But when it comes to the nurse who set the record straight for her patient or the woman who was suffering from "excessive crying", who was the true roaster here? We'll let you decide.
The State Of Indiana
If you're from the state of Indiana, I apologize in advance for this.
What turned into a humblebrag quickly turned into someone roasting an entire U.S. state, and I don't know about you, but roasted corn sounds delicious.
Robert Pattinson's Doppelganger
When you post on social media - as this man did when he used TikTok - you open yourself up to the comments of all the fine people of the internet. While many comments are supportive, wholesome, or thought-provoking, others are, well...not.
After this comment, I don't think Robert Pattinson's doppelganger is ever going to watch Twilight again.
A Titanic-Sized Roast
Parents are there to support us and guide us through life. It goes without saying that parents are also our biggest cheerleaders - unless you're this dad.
No one supports you quite as a parent does, but no one can roast you to a crisp quite like they can, either.
Now Bow To Your Queen
Whether McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's, everyone has their go-to fast-food burger joint. But when it comes to clever comebacks, no one even comes close to the red-headed clapback queen that is Wendy's Twitter account - just ask poor @DonutOperator.
"Hello, police? Yes, I'd like to report a murder."
When You Forget To Pay Your Landscaper
While most roasts involve words, sometimes they can be done with actions instead.
This Redditor explains that their neighbor "allegedly" refused to pay the landscaper who cleared his backyard of dead brush, and now he has this present waiting for him on his driveway. Merry belated Christmas!
Children's Books Characters
Do you know how in every children's book there is a cool-looking sun wearing sunglasses (which in retrospect seems counterproductive) and a moon who looks like an old man?
Well, I present to you former Fear Factor host Joe Rogan. If his career in podcasting ever fails, he can fill the role of children's book moon.
Request Denied
Any adult knows how hard it is to make friends, and this woman thought perhaps she'd made a new buddy during a recent trip to the library. But no.
Did this Twitter user get roasted by a random library woman? Absolutely, but this is definitely one of the sadder roasts I've seen before. Sad clapping sounds.
The Rare Self-Roast
It's not always a random stranger on the internet or a friend who does the roasting, but sometimes it's you yourself, especially if you're naturally gifted (cursed?) with a self-deprecating sense of humor.
This person proudly states "Finally, an action figure I can relate to". Joke's on us, because we can all relate.
Roasted Reviews
Here's the one-star review from a dissatisfied customer who didn't approve of an adult store operating in the town of Clarksville.
But instead of "repenting", the store owner hand-delivers a roast on a silver platter and personally responds to the review themselves. I've heard North Korea is lovely this time of year.
Just Remember, Daddy Loves You
If your kids can't stop singing "We Don't Talk About Bruno" around the house and you've had it stuck in your head for weeks, you can thank Disney's newest film Encanto for that.
Although we're willing to bet dad is probably a bigger fan of the film than his daughter is right now.
Don't Be A Kevin
An apology to all the Kevins out there, but before confidently replying to something on the internet, first, make sure that what you're about to say is factually correct, uses appropriate grammar, and doesn't miss the point.
Kevin did not check for those things and now Kevin hates his life.
An Angry Towel
This husband explains that his wife sat on a towel, but then once you look a little closer notes that "I think the towel was mad about it".
With a middle-finger-shaped stain on her butt, the towel definitely let the wife know what it thinks about being sat on, and hopefully, this wasn't her favorite pair of jeans.
American Beer
When it comes to American beer, there are people who believe that it's more akin to sparkling water than actual beer. While everyone has their favorite brand, it remains a contentious opinion, but then there are the people who like to live dangerously and make their opinion known regardless.
Land of the free and home of the questionable beer.
Now Serving Roast Duck
Now, because Wendy's is the true queen of roasting people alive and then finishing them off with a bit of salt, we couldn't help but include at least one more tweet to commemorate National Roast Day.
Now serving up roasted duck.
Mansplaining Feminism
In this tweet, Ben thought he was roasting feminists while at the same time talking up his wife who's a doctor and mother. But, all he learned was that perhaps he needs to up his fatherly duties.
Looks like the only person who got murdered here was Ben. Perhaps his doctor-wife can fix him up.
Beware Of Wife
This Redditor explains that their father just turned 60-years-old and he finally used how to use a printer for the first time and writes, "This was his first idea."
Hopefully his wife finds it as funny as he does.
When You Roast Yourself
There are the people who are so astronomically stupid that they end up publicly roasting themselves without another person uttering a word. Take for example this man who does not believe in NASA or outer space for that matter.
Genuine question here, but how did this fourth-grade dropout manage to obtain a driver's license?
Stale Ham Sandwiches
There are times when you come across an insult so wonderful that it stays with you forever. Calling someone a "stale ham sandwich of a human" is now one of mine.
Perhaps if you're a fan of ham sandwiches you won't be insulted, but if you're being called a "stale ham sandwich" in the first place, perhaps you need to re-evaluate your life choices.
Stay Hydrated
When it comes to dating, there is a lot of debate surrounding who should pay the bill. Regardless of whether you think it should be split 50/50 or that the man should always pay, you probably shouldn't insult your date on social media.
It's a good thing he ordered her a glass of ice water. She's going to need it for that burn.
Roasted Coffee Beans
You know the saying, "If you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all". It's what this woman should have done when she insulted a total stranger for speaking in Spanish.
So the lesson is: savagely roasting people gets you free coffee.
It's Not Delivery, It's Public Humiliation
There is the kind of people who love to gatekeep women's issues. From pregnancy to childbirth, breastfeeding, and everything else under the sun, if you're not their ideal version of the "perfect woman" then you are a failure.
But we hope this nosy mother learned her lesson, and the next time she hears "DiGiornio" she is reminded of her public humiliation.
Sweet, Caroline
This parent writes that their daughter "might be a bit accident-prone", and after reading this slip of paper, it's not hard to understand why.
Poor Caroline injured herself on the playground and then cut herself while handling this boo-boo slip. Caroline got roasted by her dad on social media and by a slip of paper. Ouch.
The Joys Of Fatherhood
This baby girl doesn't realize that she just got roasted by her dad's Apple watch and its noise indicator which is registering a noise level of 90 decibels.
Cheer up, dad. She might be crying now, but just wait until she turns into a bratty teenager who can talk back.
When You Want Your Own Private Bathroom
We're not totally sure what this person was talking about when they said that they wanted their own private bathroom, but this user's response definitely wasn't what they were expecting.
Not surprisingly, a diaper is much less glamorous than a private and luxury bathroom.
