Things That Will Have Every Mom Out There Saying ‘Ugh, Same’

Being a mom is a thankless job. After hours of managing tantrums, changing diapers, making school lunches, helping with homework, and dealing with teenage mood swings, you only get more problems tossed your way.

No one quite understands the struggle except for other moms. Here are some things that will have every mom saying “Ughm, SAME.”

The Lack Of Social Skills

In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming,
Photo Credit: Twitter / @UnfilteredMama
Photo Credit: Twitter / @UnfilteredMama

Having to drop a number two in a public washroom is already embarrassing and awkward enough without having your small human announce it to the entire population of a Walmart bathroom.

Sometimes, They Are Too Honest

If you're wanting an honest opinion about your hygiene or your cooking skills, have a few kids, they'll give it to you.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @closetoclassy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @closetoclassy

You’re busy just trying to juggle meals, playdates, soccer practice, and your job, and, just when you’re feeling the most burned-out, your child will tell you that your foods suck and that you look like a zombie.

One Small Mistake And Now She’s Crying in the Restaurant

girl crying with head on table at chinese restaurant
Photo Credit: Reddit / NumberJ5
Photo Credit: Reddit / NumberJ5

While out at a Chinese restaurant, this family was looking at the Chinese zodiac on the menu. However, this mom made the dire error of telling her horse-loving daughter that she was born in the year of the monkey.

“I Can’t Imagine Where It Went!”

Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night
Photo Credit: Twitter / @rubywoo09
Photo Credit: Twitter / @rubywoo09

If your child stole your youth and energy, I believe it’s fair game to steal their chocolate every once in a while. I mean, you just need to find a “chocolate-eating monster from the closet” the frame for the crime.

Count The Spider-Men

Why is my son sleeping on the floor like this? LMFAO (photo of boy sleeping face down on floor in spiderman costume with three spiderman dolls on the ground with him)
Photo Credit: Twitter /LivKristen
Photo Credit: Twitter /LivKristen

I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact this child passed out in the middle of playtime face down on the floor, or the fact that he has three separate Spider-Men with him.

The Kid Drives A Hard Bargain

Me: what do you want for lunch? 
3yo: a pickle.

Me: a pickle is not a meal. 

3yo: two pickles.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts
Photo Credit: Twitter / @daddydoubts

If you’re wondering what the nutritional value of a dill pickle is, it’s merely a lot of sodium and maybe 10 calories worth of energy. The kid might be able to get by with 14 pickles.

Kids’ Uniqueness Can Be A Lot Of Work

girl dressed up as tide pod
Photo Credit: Reddit / LikeAGreenBean
Photo Credit: Reddit / LikeAGreenBean

On Halloween, you hope that your child might pick an easy costume, like a princess or an Avenger, so that you can just buy it one day on the way home from work. The unique ones will have you spending hours trying to make a Tide Pod costume.

Hey Buddy, You Still Have To Love Karate

I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @amydillon
Photo Credit: Twitter / @amydillon

As a child, I never really thought about how difficult it was for my parents to keep up with my changing passions in life: hockey, football, soccer, and chess. I know with even more certainty now that they were saints.

It’s More Like A Person Compost Bin

My daughter just called a cemetery a person garden. I'm not even sure what she thinks is happening there.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @java_assassin
Photo Credit: Twitter / @java_assassin

Does her daughter think that new people are made by planting older ones and waiting for them to grow a couple of new babies on a vine? Honestly, that would make a pretty cool sci-fi novel.

Rough Night Out For The Princesses

princess dolls with weird, smeared, dirty face
Photo Credit: Reddit / stephidabefida5
Photo Credit: Reddit / stephidabefida5

One little girl took it upon herself to give her princess dolls makeovers using her mother’s makeup. Her mom tried very hard to clean them, but they all still look like they’re nursing bad hangovers.

You Don’t Have To Do This, Pal

I'm at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old holding a permanent marker without the lid.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @simoncholland

In a home, is there anything more threatening and dangerous than a toddler with an uncapped permanent marker waving it around carelessly? I’d rather try to negotiate with a bank robber—at least they’re mostly rational.

Get Those Steps In!

My daily workout is walking through the house 14 times a day turning off all the lights my kids have left on in every room.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AsgardianRose
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AsgardianRose

Honestly, though, has any child (or husband, for that matter) ever remembered to turn off the light when they leave a room? If anyone has photographic proof, please let me know.

Not A Single Moment Of Peace

toddler with face partially visible pressed against frosted glass
Photo Credit: Reddit / goodluck_canuck
Photo Credit: Reddit / goodluck_canuck

While staying in an Airbnb with her family, this mom simply wanted to go to the washroom in peace. However, when she looked up, she saw her toddler doing this against the bathroom door.

Why Are You Telling Me This Now?

[1 year into a voyage to Mars] 
Kid: I forgot my shoes.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mommajessiec
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mommajessiec

I genuinely think that all children are programmed to never remember to let you know about something essential that they forgot to bring with them. You won’t find out they don’t have their backpacks until they’re already in the classroom.

This Is The Exact Opposite Of What She Wanted

little girl laughing while mom holds a denture half
Photo Credit: Reddit / ProbablyNotDrew
Photo Credit: Reddit / ProbablyNotDrew

This mom took her daughter to the beaches on the coastline to play in the water and also scour the shoreline for washed-up shark teeth. Her daughter said she found teeth excitedly before dumping this into her hand.

Here’s To The Bare Minimum

PTA room mom: We need some volunteers for the class par- Me: PLATES AND NAPKINS!
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ksujulie
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ksujulie

Listen: I barely have enough time in my regular life to do things like, I don’t know, breathe, so you can bet I’ll do anything humanly possible to avoid making brownies for my kid’s class.

I Hate Paw Patrol With My Whole Heart

Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is
Photo Credit: Twitter / @robfee
Photo Credit: Twitter / @robfee

I kind of respect children’s ability to pick one television show or movie and unwaveringly commit to that one thing day after day for hours on repeat for multiple months in a row.

Surprise!

children's drawing taped to lifted lid of toilet
Photo Credit: Reddit / tfoust10
Photo Credit: Reddit / tfoust10

You’ll think that, even just briefly, you can enjoy a moment of peace when you have to go to the washroom. Then you flip open the lid of the toilet and get this awful surprise.

Please Give Me A Heads-Up

When the world is about to end, I hope we know about it in advance so I can stop doing laundry.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HousewifeOfHell
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HousewifeOfHell

Nothing would annoy me more than having the world end after I had just finished washing, drying, and folding a full day’s worth of laundry. The only this worse would be if I cleaned.

I Feel Like It Should Be Easier

Photo Credit: Twitter / @CortlandCTC
Photo Credit: Twitter / @CortlandCTC

My kid will literally be unable to keep his head upright and can’t walk on his own so he demands to be carried, yet putting him to sleep is still a long affair? It should be illegal.

…Then They Sleep In The Most Inconvenient Places

small girl sleeping in shopping cart on top of store items
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit

After fighting you about going to bed the night before for over an hour, they have the audacity to pass out on top of the frozen pizza while you’re just trying to get groceries.

Time To Start Taking Lessons From The Pets

My kitten runs away when the kids come near her, and now I'm mad that I never thought to try that myself.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheNYAMProject
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheNYAMProject

If only I had trained my kids from a young age to expect me to run away from them when they come up to me. Then their dad could bear the burdens of wet beds.

Perfection Is Overrated

Am I a perfect mom? No. 
But am I trying my best to be a perfect mom? Also no.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ScaryMommy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ScaryMommy

You know those perfect moms who walk into the PTA, volunteer for field trips, and bake lots of cookies for every occasion? I just know they are miserable deep down.

RIP To The Baby’s Energy

baby passed out on ground with chalk outline drawn around it
Photo Credit: Reddit / AFistfulOfRupees
Photo Credit: Reddit / AFistfulOfRupees

Much like murder victims, toddlers and babies have a nasty knack for keeling over onto the ground in peculiar positions. If anything, children deserve the chalk outline even more than the bodies.

Batman Is Just More Effective

*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
*Batman voice*
I said let's go.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LurkAtHomeMom
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LurkAtHomeMom

It’s nice to think that being the fun, happy mom will encourage the kids to get themselves together, but in reality, they need the rough threat of a Gotham vigilante.

Her Audacity Is Alarming

Daughter: You're invading my personal space  
Mom: You came out of my personal space
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_Mo_lee_
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_Mo_lee_

You’ll go through months of mood swings, swollen feet, weird cravings, and growing to be enormous, and your child will still have the nerve to talk back at you for merely existing.

Perhaps Not The Happiest Of Reads

kid reading
Photo Credit: Reddit / cheensays
Photo Credit: Reddit / cheensays

The book might seem harmless enough based on the drawings, but it definitely is a little hard to take in that all dinosaurs are dead at the ripe age of two.

We Are Peak Hypocrites

Use your time wisely I tell my daughter, knowing full well I wasted an entire decade of my life watching MTV.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LostFelicia
Photo Credit: Twitter / @LostFelicia

The amount of advice I have given to other young people and my own children that I never even tried to follow myself is nuts. I can’t wait to tell my kids I’m a phony when they’re old enough.

If Only Children Had Mute Buttons…

My 5yo has gone from simply repeating back everything I say to now repeating back everything I say but with a question mark at the end. This should serve as a reminder to us all that no matter how bad things are they can always get worse.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheCatWhisperer
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheCatWhisperer

Never tell yourself that things cannot get worse than they are, because children will find a way to bring you to a new rock bottom of annoyance—it’s their main talent.

There’s No Winning

The kids are quiet. I'm not sure if I should be thrilled or terrified.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @StellaGMaddox
Photo Credit: Twitter / @StellaGMaddox

On the one hand, if your children are quiet, it means that you can enjoy a moment of silence. On the other hand, it means they can be doing something even more evil than usual.

Can I Put It With The Luggage?

Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mommyshorts
Photo Credit: Twitter / @mommyshorts

Flying with a child is the absolute worst because you know that everyone else on the flight hates you. And, honestly? You kind of hate yourself for bringing such a noisy little monster on board.

They Always Need The Haircut

me: you need a haircut. My son: no I don't. Also my son: (photo of alpaca with hair covering eyes)
Photo Credit: Instagram / @TheMotherOctopus
Photo Credit: Instagram / @TheMotherOctopus

My son’s hair could be so long that it’s perpetually in his eyes, he can’t really see anymore, and the knots are starting to form little dreadlocks, and he’d still insist that a haircut isn’t necessary.

Sharing Is Caring!

Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half. 
An M&M.

In half.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ValeeGrrl

With two kids, they’ll go to the most extreme measures to make sure everything is equally distributed between them, right down to the very last M&M. Just wait until they start measuring which is the “bigger” half with a ruler.

She Really Thinks Quickly On Her Toes

Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know...
Photo Credit: Twitter / @FoxyWinePocket
Photo Credit: Twitter / @FoxyWinePocket

Obviously, you can’t let kids eat pie for breakfast even if you’re doing it yourself, so you have to come up with a way to trick them into hating the idea of it.

It’s A Pretty Good Argument On His Part

I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said,
Photo Credit: Twitter / @JennyPentland
Photo Credit: Twitter / @JennyPentland

You’ll ask your kid to do the simplest thing and they’ll find a loophole to argue their way out of it. I truly miss the days when my kids could not speak.

This Is Parenthood In A Nutshell

My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Manda_like_wine
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Manda_like_wine

The reality is that your kids, no matter how much they love you, often fail to see you as a real person with feelings and an existence outside of them.

The Correct Answer Is Both

Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @amydillon
Photo Credit: Twitter / @amydillon

On one hand, she has a kid with psychopathic tendencies who would lock her out of her room for fun. On the other, she has a kid who knows how to pick locks for probably a nefarious reason.

Kids Learn Pettiness Early

I sit with my daughter while she falls asleep and I always whisper
Photo Credit: Twitter / @CeciATL
Photo Credit: Twitter / @CeciATL

Your kids grow up learning from your actions and trying to mirror you, so I just know that I’m going to raise a bunch of petty, sassy mini-me’s who only know how to talk back. I guess it’s karma.

You Just Slowly Give Up

First kid: healthy, organic everything.  After third kid: KFC chicken leg falls on floor - just pick it up and eat it, I don't care.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KateWhineHall
Photo Credit: Twitter / @KateWhineHall

When you’re pregnant with the first kid, you look at all the best practices for raising children, read every parenting book, and swear you’ll be a super mom. That all falls apart very quickly.

The Breakfast Of Champions

Mom Mom
Mommy
Mom
Ma
MOM
MOMMY
MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY MOMMMMMMMMMMY
What are you eating?

Xanax.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Marlebean

The reality is that being a mom is a high-stress, low-reward job that takes up much of your time without so much as a “thank you.” Sometimes, a Xanax would be nice.