Tom Schruben is a 62-year-old father who has been a bit bored recently. He decided to take it upon himself to cheer people up during these trying times. The best way he could think of to spread some joy and positivity was to share his bad dad jokes on his lawn and online.
He posts his lawn jokes on his Facebook page, which now has nearly 500 followers. Every day, people check in with Tom for a laugh or a big groan.
Welcome To The Twilight Zone
When we changed our clocks back in the winter, nobody expected that the world would change so dramatically in just a few short months. It does kind of feel like we're living in The Twilight Zone.
We have to admit, this one took us a while. It's all in the word "remarkable." Because you can erase and re-mark a whiteboard. Get it now? This one is a real groaner.
He continued, "I posted my first joke and within 20 minutes, I heard from my perch on our porch a passerby laugh. I was hooked and from that day on, I have put a new joke out each day."
Going For A Ride
Tom went on to say, "I decide what jokes to use based on my mood and what is happening in the world. We often discuss jokes at dinner, and Ann and Darcy make suggestions. I stay away from mean or political jokes, but sometimes I try to reflect at least the mood of the day."
Tom says that he "keep[s] in mind that the purpose of the jokes is to give people a short, two-second break" from the intense pressures we're all facing right now.
Why They're Called Seagulls
Tom says, "I have been very gratified how much of an impact such a simple thing can have on the world. I never imagined that my jokes would become the daily reading lesson for eager 5 and 6-year-old children..."
The Restaurant On The Moon
Tom continued, "Or that I would hear from people across the country that I had lost touch with many years ago who saw my name in a newspaper or a social media post..."
The Hardest Tea
"Or that my older children would appreciate my jokes—they certainly acted like they didn't like them when they were younger, especially when I told dad jokes in front of their friends. Putting up a joke each day is a bit of an anchor that helps me stay centered in these crazy, stressful times."
This joke is actually pretty clever. Obviously, the bartender thinks that "rabbit" is a typo and that somebody meant to type out "rabbi." We wouldn't mind seeing a rabbit in a bar, though.
What Doesn't Rhyme With Orange
There are no words that rhyme with orange. Some people say that "door hinge" rhymes with orange, although that isn't a perfect rhyme. Orange will always be without a rhyming partner.
Red And Blue Combined
This one took us a second. Obviously, red and blue combined make purple, but he also hates it more than he hates both blue and red together. It's clever, but it's also a bad dad joke.
Laughing His Head Off
A man laughing his head off would make a thump sound if his head literally fell off. The "thump" sound would be the sound of his head hitting the ground.
A Real Gummy Bear
Gummy bears are delicious candies, but also, when somebody has no teeth, all you can see are their gums. I'd much rather have a delicious gummy bear than a bear with no teeth.
Rabbits Walking Away
We get what this joke is trying to accomplish, but we have to be a little bit picky and point out that rabbits are actually not hares, although they're part of the same family.
A Delicious Pun
Tom has said, "My wife had heard from a friend in Ohio that she was posting dad jokes in front of her house in Ohio and my wife suggested that I try doing that as well since we live across from a park and busy walking path."
According to Tom, double negatives are a no-no in English. This isn't really what people mean when they say you shouldn't use double negatives, but it's all in the name of humor.
Eat A Clock
It probably would actually be pretty time-consuming to eat a clock. We get the pun, but realistically how long would it take you to eat a clock if you wanted to?
Haha, very funny. He left this joke on a cliffhanger. Now we'll never know the end of the joke, although if you think about it, we kind of already do.
Cinderella And The Ball
Cinderella is always running away from balls. First, she ran away from the prince at the stroke of midnight. Now she's running away from the ball on the soccer field.
The Chicken Or The Egg?
In some of these photos, Tom's whiteboard is wrapped in plastic wrap. We imagine he had to do this to prevent people from wiping off or changing his jokes, or maybe it was to avoid letting the rain erase the joke.
What Color Is The Wind?
What color is the wind? Well, it's "blew," of course. This is a joke that only works in writing. If you were to say it to somebody, they might wonder why you think the wind is blue.
Buildings Can't Jump
This bad dad joke is dedicated to Ella on her 9th birthday. We hope this joke about jumping dogs made her feel special on her special day. Happy birthday, Ella!
A Fly With No Wings
We don't call people "walks," though, and people don't have wings. How did a fly become known to us as a fly? Maybe we should call it a nuisance. That might be more accurate.
Warmer In The Corner
This joke is a play on the word "degrees," which means something different when you're talking about angles and not temperature. It's not actually warmer in the corner. The same way summer is not at a 90-degree angle.
Slept Like A Log
If you sleep like a log, where do you expect to wake up? Logs don't sleep in beds, they sleep in fireplaces. Well, logs don't sleep at all, but you know what we mean.
King Arthur Online
If King Arthur were alive today, he would probably love Zoom meetings. Zoom meetings are like round tables with unlimited seats. Everybody can sit and discuss the situation in Camelot.
I See You
If you do get into a peek-a-boo accident that sends you to the I.C.U., we're not sure that you're playing peek-a-boo the right way. It's a very simple game that doesn't involve any kind of physical violence.
You have to know that "hue" is another word for "color" to get this joke, and you have to know that some people have really weird laughs. Have you ever heard somebody laugh like this?
If you saw elephants hiding in trees, they wouldn't be good at hiding, now would they? Maybe the reason you don't see them hiding in trees more often is that they're master hiders.
Know Your ABCs
Get it? Because bee sounds like B? This joke might be the corniest dad joke we've seen yet. It's based on a straight pun and it's not really that funny.