Wives Spouting Some Brutal Truths About Their Husbands On Twitter
Married life should be easy, and for the most part, it is. Every so often, though, our husbands do things that just get on our last nerve.
Instead of blowing up about it or having a nervous breakdown, these women took to Twitter to vent their frustrations. These witty tweets attracted a bunch of likes and replies because so many married women can relate to these moments.
Keep reading to see some ladies who know how to compose a tweet like it's nobody's business.
Found The Keys
Well, of course the keys are in the dish where they keep the keys. Where else would they be? Just because he never remembers to put them in the dish doesn't mean she isn't organized.
Same Difference
If your husband tells you that he wants to spend a year traveling in an RV with children, that's pretty much the same thing as him saying that he wants a divorce.
The Struggles Of Marriage
Getting married is fun and easy. You have a big party, all of your friends dance with you, your mom cries. Where are your friends for support when all of your Amazon purchases show up at the house?
Basic Fridge Rules
Everybody knows that mustard is a condiment, which means it goes on the side of the fridge, inside the door with all the rest of the condiments. That's just a fridge rule.
Why We Shave
After you've been married for 10 years, your husband could not care less if you shaved or not. The real reason we shave is because smooth legs feel so good under freshly cleaned sheets.
Yes, It Does
Living with another person basically means that that person is going to bother you no matter who they are. They could be the kindest, best, most attractive person in the world, but they're still going to annoy you.
It's Like Counting Sheep
What a wonderful idea! I have trouble falling asleep all the time. Maybe I'll get my husband to tell me about his workout plan for the week too. All that talk about sets and reps should do the trick.
Put Your Glasses In The Sink
We're not even asking you to wash the glasses (although that would be nice). Just put them in the sink so we don't have to go on a glass scavenger hunt every time we do the dishes.
Welcome Home
What better way to say "welcome home" to your husband than to immediately start unloading all of your personal baggage and grievances onto him? Men love it when we do that.
Time For Some New Cards
It would be nice if there were some realistic anniversary cards available to us. At the moment, we have to resort to making our own. I'd like to be able to purchase a card that says "Thanks for annoying me a little less this year."
What Day Is It Today?
If you want to see a look of panic spread across your husband's face in a hurry, just ask him this question. It could just be Tuesday. It could be your anniversary. Who knows?
How Long Is Golf?
Men, you should remember that golf is a googleable activity. Your wives can look up how long it takes to play a round of golf, and they will find the answer they're looking for.
Just Keep Avoiding
The best thing to do when you're faced with a difficult conversation in your marriage is to avoid it, right? Nobody can fight if nobody's talking. That's our logic and we're sticking to it.
They Had A Good Run
Well, these two were in a relationship for a good 7 years before they got married. They made it through wedding planning and rehearsal dinners with the in-laws, but this food-chewing thing is the last straw.
Dieting Together
Do couples who diet together stay together? According to this wife, absolutely not. Although, if you can get through dieting together, you can get through anything together. Marriage without chocolate is hard.
How To Get Some Alone Time
This woman is a genius. This is the question you should ask your husband if you ever need some alone time. Unless, of course, he wants more kids and you're still mulling that option over.
The Silent Treatment
Men love it when we don't talk to them. That's why the silent treatment isn't a good tactic to employ in a marriage. Try talking to him all the time about all the things instead.
Costco Date Night
After you've been married for a while, going to Costco counts as a date night. Who are we kidding? Going to Costco always counts as a date night. Costco is amazing.
A Double-Standard
She can compare him to his father all she wants, but the second he compares her to her mother, it's game over. Yes, it's a double-standard, but it's a double-standard we have to live with.
A Household Legend
This woman's husband still hasn't gotten over the time he correctly loaded the dishwasher. She correctly loads the dishwasher every day. Where's her medal? Why isn't that a legend around the house?
Lost And Found
Why are men incapable of finding objects that are stored in plain sight? Is it because they never put things away, so when we do it, they get extra confused?
The Man Flu
The man flu is a real thing. When a woman is sick, she can still go to the grocery store, pick up the kids from school, make dinner, and clean up afterward. When a man is sick, he can't get off the couch.
How Quick Is Too Quick?
I mean, five seconds would be too short, but if he's gone for more than three minutes, it's fair to un-pause. You can just rewind it when he gets back.
Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?
He has no idea where he sees himself in five years. He has no idea where he sees himself in five minutes. It's always better to direct questions about future plans to the wives.
The Ultimate Display Of Affection
If he lets you put your cold feet on him, you know he really loves you. Not many people would put up with that feeling of extreme discomfort for your benefit.
Somewhere Good
Figuring out where you're going to go for dinner is one of life's biggest, yet most inconsequential struggles. That's what makes it so infuriating. Just pick a place! Literally any place is good.
Socks Are Communal
Here's the thing about socks. There should be no "your socks" or "my socks." You should just have a plethora of black and white socks for everybody to share. Marriage is about sharing.
Celebrities Are Just Like Us
Do you think Beyoncé gets annoyed at Jay Z? We should note that this tweet was posted a year before Lemonade came out. Now we can safely say that yes, yes she does.
Don't Get Any Ideas
If he sees you vacuuming, you're going to set a precedent. Don't let him rely on the fact that you're going to vacuum if he doesn't. Run back to that couch, girl.
A Problem With His Glasses
He spent all that money on a new pair of glasses and they clearly aren't working. Better take them back to the store and get a pair that actually works.
A Husband Is Just A Foot Warmer
It doesn't take a lot to make your spouse happy, but you might have to sacrifice your own happiness for that. She's got to put her cold feet somewhere, and you just have to deal with it.
When Is He Due?
It's inevitable that your body is going to change a lot in the years that you're married. You'll gain or lose weight, your husband might lose some hair or develop a beer belly, but it's also inevitable that you will make fun of each other for those changes.
It's Less Cute After 20 Years
If you manage to still find your husband's quirks completely and utterly attractive after 20 years of marriage, you know that you picked right, but it's also ok to admit that him leaving the cap off the toothpaste every morning is not endearing.
You're Not Getting Out Of This That Easily
You have to ask for what you want in life, but that doesn't mean you're actually going to get it, especially in any situation with your wife. If she wants ice, you're going to stand in that line.
One Fall Could Fund Your Life
You're not saying that you want your husband to fall off the roof, of course not, but you're not blind. You understand what that simple fall could do for your life...
I Dare You To Say That Again
First of all, golf doesn't even require sound so this argument is automatically not going to go well for this man. It's also bold of him to critique his wife while she's putting away the dishes he dirtied in the first place.
Preparing For The Future
You can keep your first husband in check by reminding him that he's replaceable. Everyone knows that the first husband is for money and the second husband is for love. That's just how it goes.
It's Called Compromise
Any married couple will tell you that compromise is a huge part of marriage. Any husband will tell you that 9 times out of 10 the compromises will result in your wife getting what she wants.
She's Got Bigger Problems To Deal With
Have you ever learned something about someone that completely changed your opinion of them? This would be one of those moments for sure. Imagine watching your husband try to eat spaghetti with a spoon, thinking you knew what kind of person he was all this time.
Go Ahead And Sweat The Small Stuff
We may have agreed to share the rest of our lives together and have a joint checking account, but I certainly didn't agree to eats long grain brown rice for the rest of my life.
