Having a sibling is like having a very annoying, evil devil living in the room across the hall from you. You fight over just about everything, inflict physical injury upon them, and relish when they cry—that is, until your parents catch you.
Explaining what it’s like to consistently want to torture your sibling while you simultaneously love them with your whole heart is confusing, but these tweets do a good job of capturing the sibling experience.
The Words “I’m Sorry” Will Never Leave My Lips
All of our fights ended by one of us showing up and asking if the other wants to watch TV or go see a movie. The fight is never brought up ever again.
Sorry, But We Needed A Scapegoat
Listen, the baby of the family always gets away with the most. I’m sorry to throw you under the bus, but you’ll bounce back faster from the punishment than I ever would.
“It’s Your Turn To Go Down!”
Family holidays and parents’ parties were a cult-like experience. You’d all be holed up in one room together trying to decide which sibling to sacrifice just so you could get Goldfish crackers.
The Injustice Of It All
My parents told my brother that they’d disown him if he got a tattoo, but when I came home with one they just said, “Oh, okay. Cool!” He still is not over it.
I Can’t Even Be Player One In Adulthood
I have been so conditioned to be player two that I find it hard to play games as player one. I can’t even focus on the top of the screen! I am broken!
It’s A Truly Shocking Turn Of Events
I’d now consider my older brother to be one of my closest friends and always look forward to when we are able to see each other as if I hadn’t once tried to throw him off a ski lift.
Are You Even A Fully Formed Person If You Didn’t Go Through This?
If you didn’t at least once feel the absolute fear that you were going to be murdered by your sibling, you haven’t lived. The experience gives you resilience and a survivor mentality.
This Has The Same Energy As “I Want The Bigger Half!”
All is fair in love, war, and making sure you get a better portion than your sibling. I will do everything in my power to make sure I get more of the milkshake we’re forced to share.
Steal The Shower From Me And I Will Destroy You
One time, I said that I was going to shower first and even went so far as to turn it on to start heating the water up, and my snake of a sibling just hopped in there like it was nothing.
It’s A Complex Relationship, To Say The Least
I’m not saying that it makes sense, but I have to say that the marker of a good sibling relationship is sweating all the small stuff but never hesitating when they really need help.
What’s Yours Is Also Mine
The key aspect of this snatch-and-run technique is that you have to pretend that you don’t know where their charger went and insist that you’re using your own and they’re being nuts.
From Fighting To Friends: A Saga
I’m certain that my parents were constantly feeling the absurd whiplash that came from my brother and I trying to suffocate each other with pillows one minute and then laughing together the next.
I Swear It’s A Universal Thing
When she was a child, my mom once whittled a spear out of a tree branch and “playfully” threw it at her sister. It impaled her foot and she had to go to the hospital.
What She Doesn’t Know Cannot Hurt Her
She told you that you couldn’t borrow any of her clothes, but rules were meant to be broken. It’s not even stealing if you don’t get caught in the process.
Edmund Was Objectively The Worst Brother Of All Time
After watching this movie many times, I went out of my way to try Turkish delight to see if it was worth the hype, and it is not nearly good enough for you to betray your whole family for it.
It’s Basically A Natural Reflex At This Point
Only children will see you hit your sibling and be so shocked. The reality is that the answer to the question “why did you hit them?” is more often than not, “I don’t know. I just felt like it.”
We Relish In Watching Each Other’s Misery
Even if we had no part in their misfortune, we still want to witness their downfall. If you never sat on the stairs relishing in the fact your sibling was getting yelled at, you’re a liar.
I Now Feel A Weird Allegiance To Oscar The Grouch
Good siblings will tell you that you are beautiful and smart, but great siblings will use every opportunity that presents itself to make fun of you and call you ugly, stupid, and a loser.
“You Have To Act Like It Was Your Idea”
Your younger siblings only have the cute chubby cheeks and the cute way of mispronouncing words for so long, so you have to take advantage of it and secure the chicken nuggets.
Maintaining Control Over The TV Is A Priority
One time, I almost peed my pants because I refused to move from the couch until the show I was watching was over because I knew my brother would change the channel the second I stood up.
I Can’t Buy Things—I’m Baby!
It doesn’t matter whether you’re 10 and 8 years old or 25 and 23 years old, the older sibling looks out for the younger one, and the younger sibling will never drop a penny on the older one.
Finally, Being Left Out Of Things Works In Your Favor
In order to get payback for all the times her older brothers didn’t let her play with them, my niece framed each of them for stealing each others’ stuff and just watched the fight unfold. I am terrified of her.
I Will Not Pay For A Single French Fry For You
Every time I came home with food when I was a teenager, my brother would get mad that I didn’t bring any food back for him. Sir, you’re my roommate.
PSA: CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU
I have never been more passionately angry than when I was trying to sleep, but my brother would open the door to ask a dumb question and leave it open.
Times They Hurt You Are A Form Of Currency
You’d punch your sibling in the face and they’d want to snitch on you, but you could bring up the time that they stole and destroyed your favorite toy and they’d get really silent.
Wow, I Can’t Believe They Would Steal From Me
Let me explain: It was totally okay for me to take whatever I wanted from my brother’s room and take 5-10 business days to return it, but he can never borrow anything from me.
Hello, I Would Like Some Entertainment
There are a few rules to ensure that you’re doing this correctly: You have to interrupt them while they’re doing homework, you have to mildly irritate them, then you have to convince them to play a game.
Essentially, This Is What A Good Sibling Relationship Looks Like
The best part is that one day, this pair will sit down at a family event and fondly reminisce about all the times they tortured and beat up on each other throughout childhood.
Truly, I Am So Thankful
Even though we were awful to each other for the majority of our childhood, I am so glad that I can consider my brother a close friend, and I hope my kids will someday have the same relationship.
…Honestly, It’s Better Than The Alternative
While I’m sure that there are some benefits to being an only child, I can’t imagine not having someone to play with every day and someone to prank when I was bored.