His Wife Refused To Pay Off His Student Loans With A Large Inheritance, So He Took Action

Personal finances in a marriage vary from one family to the next. Some couples immediately open shared bank accounts and there’s never a question about who in the relationship will pay which bills. In other situations, finances remain separate and the couple choose which bills each partner will pay.

For one couple on Reddit, their situation was drastically altered after the wife received a large inheritance from her family.

Student Loans Were At The Heart Of The Situation

In an “Am I The A-Hole?” thread on Reddit, the husband explained that his wife received an inheritance five times the amount he owned on his student loans.

Wife Student Loans and Inheritance
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

He then explained that he asked his wife to pay off his loans, a move that would put their family in a much better situation financially. As the man revealed, the inheritance would still be very large without the chunk used to wipe out his student loan debt.

The Inheritance Belongs Only To The Wife?

As the Reddit user quickly revealed, their request to pay off their student loans was denied by their wife, a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t have any income of her own.

Inheritance settled but not at home
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

Of course, it’s impossible to know how cool-headed the husband was throughout this process but their thread makes it appear their wife was being irrational regarding the situation.

Taking Some Burden Off The Family’s Financial Situation

Any American with student loans that eat into their paychecks understands how hard it can be to keep paying that bill when the interest alone takes up a big portion of each payment.

Burden From Inheritance and Student Loans
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

According to Reddit user @sloanaita, their wife said the student loans “pre-date our marriage and are my sole responsibility.” In his mind, it was an unfair way of working together to make the financial situation better for their family.

The Husband Took Drastic Measures The Very Next Day

The unnamed man explained that he took quick action the very next day. His solution? Cutting his wife off from the take-home pay he was earning as the family’s only breadwinner.

Cutting wife off from money
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

The man revealed that he would still buy necessities but his wife would have to use her inheritance if she wanted new clothes, wanted to eat out, take flights, go to the spa, or purchase any other non-essential items for herself.

His Wife Shot Back Over His “Controlling” Move

The OP says his decision to separate family finances didn’t go over well with his wife. Immediately after cutting her off, he claims she told him to stop being “controlling with money.”

Controlling finances over inheritance
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

His wife also accused him of abusing his position as the family’s breadwinner. The OP says he quickly shot back, asking her why he should have to pay for everything when she has a significant amount of her own money now.

Commenters Saw Both Sides Of The Argument

Many of the AITA threads on Reddit are met with one sided responses, this was not one of those cases.

A back and forth over finances
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

Many people appear to understand that the husband was making a good point, while simultaneously noting that his wife should be compensated for running the household while he’s at work.

$160,000 Salary For Stay-At-Home Moms?

The Reddit users who spoke out on behalf of the wife may have a very valid point. A study conducted in 2018 found that stay-at-home moms, based on their responsibilities, should be earning six figures.

ED JONES/AFP via Getty Images
ED JONES/AFP via Getty Images

The study, completed by the leading salary tracking website, salary.com, found that moms who stay at home to raise children should have been earning $157,705 in 2017 dollars. We get it, it’s a tough job that they perform 24/7/365.

Did The Husband Deep Dive Into His Wife’s Thought Process?

The toughest part about Reddit Am I The A-Hole threads is often determining all of the facts. OP’s give their side of the story but there are often holes that need to be filled in.

Plans for the money
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

As one commenter noted, “What are her plans for the money? Is she putting away for children education?” Or maybe she was hoping to put away for their children’s education. We may never know the entire story but at least it generated a fairly healthy back and forth about financial responsibilities.

A Degree That Supports The Family?

Again, we’re not here to pick sides but one Reddit user made a compelling argument about why paying off the husband’s student loans with one-fifth of the inheritance might be very fair.

Supporting the husband
@sloanaita / Reddit
@sloanaita / Reddit

As user @parishilton2 notes “I’m assuming that the degree for which you took out loans is the degree that allows you to be the sole income provider for your family. Your wife reaps the benefit of that.” Whether we agree with the posters main point, we do agree that the couple is “supposed to be a team.”

10,000 Upvotes And A Lot To Think About

The original Reddit AITA thread earned around 10,000 upvotes and led to a healthy conversation about the division of labor and money in a relationship.

Screenshot 2022-06-13 094021

Both men and women argued over how the inheritance should be handled but ultimately most people appeared to agree that the couple needed to talk more about the money and how they can work together to better their family’s financial situation.

What About Stay-At-Home Husbands?

One couple living in Southern California is doing their best to reverse the classic gender stereotypes in marriage, and whose responsibility it is to take care of the bills.

Maya and Hunter, both 24-years-old, started dating when they were just sophomores in high school.

The couple was married in 2021

The couple was married in 2021 and not long after they tied the knot Hunter decided to share a few TikTok videos of what married life looks like for them.

The videos quickly went viral online getting millions of views on their joint TikTok profile @maya.and.hunter.

A recent video shared by Hunter has gained over 7 million views

A recent video captioned “A Day in the Life of a Stay-At-Home Husband” has racked up over 7 million views on TikTok alone.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

In the 35-second clip, Hunter can be seen running errands and narrating his activities all done for the benefit of his wife, Maya.

“Sorry, tough guys”

In the clip, Hunter says “Sorry, tough guys. It’s another day in the life of a stay-at-home husband.”

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

He continues, “My wife is always trying to sneak in extra work on the weekend, so I grabbed her, her wallet, and headed out on our weekly errands.”

Maya works full time and Hunter is a student learning remotely

Maya works a full-time job while Hunter is a student in his second year of law school.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

But for the time being, Maya is the “breadwinner” and Hunter is the doting husband who low-key relies on her to keep the finances afloat.

Hunter taunts his trolls in his video narration

In one of their most viral clips, Hunter narrates sarcastically for their followers.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

“Some people seem to think I lost my man card, so we went to the farmers market to buy a new one. But they were all out, so I went to Whole Foods and got some flowers for my wife.”

His husbandly duties include arranging flowers

The video continues to show the duo finishing up their errands with Hunter narrating the whole process.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

“I strapped the groceries to my mancart and got to arranging the flowers. Never give your wife flowers and expect her to arrange them. That’s a chore, not a gift.”

Maya doesn’t have to help around the house

Finally, the couple makes it home where Hunter says “This little girlboss tried to help me clean the floors. So silly. It’s her day off.”

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

He then arranges a “reading nook” area with a heating pad and book on the couch before adding “Sunday reset? More like resetting societal norms.”

People are obsessed with their relationship dynamic

Commenters were quick to praise Hunter for his domestic skills and openness about being a self-proclaimed “stay-at-home husband.”

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

People were absolutely loving the “girlboss” dynamic that’s standard in Hunter and Maya’s house.

The series was actually Maya’s idea

In another video, Hunter explained that while he’s attending law school and on summer break his only real responsibilities are his “stay-at-home husbandly duties.”

Maya came to him with an idea about a TikTok trend she had seen.

They were inspired by a cringey TikTok trend

The trend shows a day in the life of self-proclaimed ‘stay-at-home daughters’ and ‘stay-at-home wives’ who are living a relaxed life of luxury.

Maya noticed “an obvious lack of male presence in this genre” and made the suggestion to Hunter.

Women on TikTok have admitted their husbands can’t wash a dish

Maya also noticed how many women on the platform admitted that their husbands and boyfriends didn’t know how to wash a dish, let alone help take care of an entire home.

Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

They saw an opportunity to change the narrative.

Hunter films himself doing basic household tasks to help break stereotypes

Basically, the TikTok trend showed average peoples’ incompetence which inspired Maya and Hunter to create their own version.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

The couple’s videos portray Hunter as a stay-at-home husband in a way that breaks the stereotypical gender roles and “pokes fun” at the whole thing.

The couple have shared over 24 videos in the series

To date, the married duo have made over 24 videos in their stay-at-home husband series and have received an overwhelming response to the videos.

Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva
Photo Credit: @hunter.and.maya / TikTok / Canva

Most of the attention has been full of love and encouragement but not all of it has been positive.

They have no plans to let negativity stop them from sharing their message

Hunter admits to seeing “a lot of hate and negativity” but is adamant that they don’t let the hate get to them anymore.

He says the hate comments show them that “the message behind our videos is still against the status quo to some people.”