Class bullies need to learn their lesson one way or another. When one kid wouldn’t stop bullying and upsetting his daughter or the other kids in the class, one single dad decided to not invite him to his daughter’s birthday. Yet, the kid’s mother got very upset, and confronted the dad, asking him why her son wasn’t invited when the whole class was.
Feeling confused about his decision, this dad posted his story to Reddit asking for some advice. He titled the post: “AITA for excluding one kid from my daughter’s class to attend her birthday?”
A Single Dad Posted On Reddit Asking For Advice
Eight days ago, a father posted his story to Reddit asking for some advice. He titled the post: “AITA for excluding one kid from my daughter’s class to attend her birthday?”
The post received nearly 2000 replies, so it’s clear that people had a lot to say about the issue.
His Daughter Has Been Bullied By “Nick” For Quite Some Time
The dad explains that his daughter has just turned 7, and he’s having a small b-day celebration in his backyard with her classmates on the weekend.
When the school opened again, they started having problems with one kid in particular, “Nick.” A lot of the parents also complained about him because he’s a huge bully to the other kids. The dad explains that he has had talks with the teacher because “Nick” made his daughter cry after teasing her constantly about her mom—who is no longer in the picture.
The Daughter Decided Not To Invite Nick To The Party
The teacher promised that they were going to be handling the situation with “Nick” and keep him away from his daughter. Supposedly, the school has had many talks with the mom but all she seems to do is baby the kid.
The dad explains further, “Nick hasn’t bothered my daughter since my talk with the teacher. So for my daughter’s birthday, she decided to invite almost everyone in the class. Obviously except for Nick. Her mom confronted me after school when I was picking her up. I guess he was crying that he didn’t get an invitation. I had my daughter wait in the car and this lady was giving me hell for excluding her son when this could’ve been a chance for him to finally get along with his classmates.”
Nick’s Mom Thought The Daughter Should Learn Some Compassion
The dad told her that “Nick” had had months to learn to get along with the other kids (or for his mom to teach him how to), as it was their last week of school.
He claimed that it is a bit too late to be trying to make friends now with how he was treating all the kids, especially his daughter. The woman just kept saying that he should be ashamed of himself for not taking this opportunity to teach his daughter a “valuable lesson on learning compassion.”
“It Was A Really Intense Encounter”
The dad closes off the post by explaining “it was just a really intense encounter but in the end, I still refused to give an invitation since my daughter said she doesn’t want Nick at her party.”
“I’m still thinking about the whole interaction. I’ve never dealt with a parent like that and being still new to it all myself I’m sort of having doubts on how I handle it. I did the right thing or wrong?”
Let’s Get Into Some Of The Responses
This dad just wanted his daughter to support his daughter’s decision and allow her to be comfortable and happy on her birthday, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Most of the comments were in support of the dad, but some found an issue with the fact that Nick most likely saw the invitations being handed out.
Nick Needed To Be Taught A Lesson
Many people commented claiming that the little boy and his mother needed to be taught a lesson.
The fact that the mother cannot see anything wrong with her son’s behavior after he made this little girl cry is unfathomable.
The Boy’s Mom Is The A-Hole Here
One user explained that the mom needs to have a conversation with her son about poor behavior.
And because she is continuing to wave away bad behavior, chances are that her son will grow up to be a real piece of work.
Gender Norms Came Into Play
Some even touched on the gender norms that came into play in the situation.
Because girls especially are taught to be kind all the time, it can be hard for them to establish clear boundaries when they are older. By not inviting the kid to the party, the girl will learn that it’s okay to establish boundaries when someone is making you upset.
The Issue With Invitations
Even though everyone was on the dad’s side, some were not okay with the fact that the girl or her dad most likely handed out the invites in person so Nick would have seen them. But, is this even a problem?
Perhaps the father could have emailed the parents instead, or given the invites to the parents directly.
The Daughter Can Learn About Boundaries
At the end of the day, everyone agreed that the kid should not have been invited to the party.
He made fun of her mother who is no longer in her life, which is way out of line.
The Verdict: He Was Not The A-Hole
Some comments claimed that technically the father was teaching his girl what exclusion was, which isn’t right.
But, pretty much everyone agreed that at the end of the day, inviting the bully to her party and into her safe space at home just isn’t the right thing to do.
Sometimes Violence Can Be The Answer—Mom Praises Son For Punching Class Bully
Even though it’s been a long time since I was in elementary school, I still remember some of the things the class bully said to me.
Words hurt, and bullies should never get off scot-free; however, this young kid decided to take matters into his own hands and fight back when he was pushed around by a bully.
Laura Mazza And Her Son Luca
The story started in Melbourne when Laura Mazza, 33, heard that her son, Luca, 6, got in trouble at school.
After hearing from her son about what happened, Laura took to Instagram to share her story.
The Teachers Weren’t Listening
Luca told his mom that he’d gotten into trouble at school and had to do yard duty.
Laura kept probing him, asking why, but he didn’t want to say. He told her that she wouldn’t believe him. He said the teacher hadn’t believed him when he told her what had happened.
Laura Explained Her Son Is Sweet By Nature
“I don’t think my kids are angels or the kids who do no wrong, but when it comes to my son, I know he is not the type of kid to hit anyone randomly or ever bully anyone.”
She continues, “He is sweet by nature. In the six years I’ve known him, I’ve never ever witnessed him punch someone unprovoked. If you told me it was my daughter, well, that’s a different story.”
Luca Was Hesitant At First
At first, her son was nervous to talk to her about what had happened. He’d gotten into trouble at school, and he didn’t want to be in trouble at home. So, Laura told him, “If you tell me the truth, you won’t get into trouble.”
Luca told his mom that another boy was picking on him, and when he told him to stop, he pushed Luca off the playground, then ran away.
Laura Asked Her Son What He Did
Laura then asked him, “Okay, so what did you do?”
Her son responded, “I chased him and punched him in the face so he knows never to bully me again. I knew the teacher wouldn’t do anything so I had to stop him from bullying me.”
Violence Isn’t ALWAYS The Answer
Laura thanked him for being honest, and the two chatted about what he could do in the future without having to resort to violence.
Even though Laura knew that violence isn’t always the answer, she believed that when it came to bullies, you had to stand up to them.
Sometimes You Need To Take Action
She continued on in the post, “But was I proud? Yeah, a little bit. I know violence isn’t the answer but I also I’m glad he did.”
She wrote that she felt sad she wasn’t there to protect Luca and that he was let down by adults. But, she’s glad he stood up for himself because even as an adult, that’s still one of the hardest things to do.
The Bad Guys Don’t Always Have To Win
She closed off the post by saying, “I want my kids to know that the bad guy doesn’t win.”
She then opened the floor for discussion, asking her followers, “What are your thoughts on this?”
The Internet’s Opinion
Most people agreed with the mother for feeling proud when her son decided to fight back.
Many agreed that their kid wouldn’t be in trouble at home if they had a valid reason for hitting someone. That being said, she would have to deal with the consequences at school.
Some Thought She Handled It Perfectly
The post was flooded with comments congratulating Laura for being such a good mom.
Instead of getting upset at her child for punching a kid, she comforted him and explained the different ways to solve a situation instead of using violence.
The Comments Were Filled With Other Parents Telling Their Stories About Bullying
Other parents shared similar stories about their children who were pushed to their limits by bullies and tormentors.
In some cases, the kids complained to the teacher or principal, and even the parents spoke to the adults in charge. When nothing was done, the parents had no problem if their child decided to take action once to ensure it never happened again.
Pretty Much Everyone Was On The Mama’s Side
Another commenter added, “Honestly, I would be super proud of my son if it were him! Sadly some teachers don’t always help the right children.”
In general, the consensus was that Mazza was right to focus on honesty. She then did even better by discussing with her son what he can do next time instead of punching someone.