Redditor Shares Unpopular Opinion About Being A Single Dad, But It’s Not As Unpopular As He Expected
Being a single parent adds extra complications to raising children, especially after a messy divorce. It's hard enough for parents to adjust to being alone, and when the responsibilities of both parents are left to a single one, it can feel completely overwhelming.
The plight of single mothers has been well documented because of the proportionately higher amount of women who end up raising families alone. The challenges faced by single fathers are far less discussed in popular media and social conversations.
Divorce Affects Every Family Differently
Every family separation is different. In the aftermath of a divorce, finding the right balance of where children will spend the majority of their time does not look the same for everyone.
Some parents end up with full custody and responsibility for their children, with limited or no contact with the other parent. In different cases, parents end up splitting custody of the children in a way that accommodates the family.
Redditor Shares Unpopular Opinion About Being A Single Dad
Reddit user The_local_unknown11 shared this post assuming that he would get some conflicting comments and backlash from the post.
The user took issue with his ex-wife having friends and family praise her on social media for being a single mom who is "picking herself up after the divorce" but adds "that she caused [it] with her affair)".
Being A Good Dad Does Not Feel Like Enough Some Days
The Dad who was behind the original post updated it to include that he hopes people understand that he wasn't looking for a good dad award, or credit for things that he's supposed to be doing as a parent.
Rather, he wants to draw attention to the "inequality" that he feels single dads experience.
He Said He Feels Isolated As A Single Dad At Mommy Play Groups
In an effort to deal with the challenges of being a single parent, the dad says he has attended "mom groups" to help socialize his kids.
Unfortunately, his experience made him feel ignored and left to play with his kids alone. He points out that there are significantly less resources for single dads such as programs or social groups. Some Redditors were happy to share dad-specific resources for him to check out.
Single Parenting And Collaborative Parenting Are Not The Same Things
After the original post went viral, the Dad who posted the unpopular opinion edited his post to include that he's aware he's not a full time single parent, as he collaborates raising his children with his ex wife.
He was clear that he finds the dad job really rewarding, though sometimes challenging, and he goes on to applaud single parents who are fully solo parenting 24/7.
Parents Seeking Validation On Social Media Can Create An Unhealthy Competition Between Exes
In the original post, the dad is concerned about his ex-wife's use of social media to gain support and validation as a single mother — without disclosing her part in ending her marriage.
He points out the double standard that men don't often receive the same kind of vocal (or virtual) support. There is certainly a danger in comparing parenting styles over social media that can lead people to compete in unhealthy ways.
"Not Everybody Agrees And That's Just Fine"
Under the words "EDIT 2" the original poster added "To those that disagree or say "man up," that's why I put this in unpopular opinions. Not everybody agrees and that's just fine."
He is aware that some people may not fully understand his perspective but he's thankful for the commenters who did and shared their own stories about single dads.
Part Of The Reason Single Dads Are So Amazing Is Because The Do It With Little To No Recognition
Commenter petgraveas said that her single father left a lasting impact on her and her siblings. She encouraged the single dad to keep up the hard work.
Even though it may not feel like it, she says that people are always rooting for single dads and appreciate everything they do for their children.
Most Fathers Were Super Supportive Of His "Unpopular" Opinion
These commenters found they related closely to the original poster. Like many other dads in the thread, they shared the unique struggles they face. It turns out his "unpopular opinion" wasn't all that unpopular, receiving over 47k upvotes of people who agreed with him.
The discussion around normalizing single dads as main caregivers has helped many men feel more comfortable in their roles as parents.
His Ultimate Goal Was To Draw Attention To The Double Standard That Single Dads Face
The original poster did say that he believes single dad's also deserve some more recognition for the work they do — but his main message is much bigger than that.
He clears up his ultimate point saying: "Anyway, my struggle is the lack of equality, not the lack of attaboy and I think that may be how it came across." He ends his post by thanking commenters for their reassurance and kind words about being a good dad.
