Woman Says She Was Raised To Take Care Of Her Husband, And The Internet Didn’t Respond Kindly
A young woman named Kayla caused quite the debate on Twitter when she said that she was raised to take care of her husband. She knows this might make her "old-fashioned," but it's the kind of wife she'd like to be.
Kayla wasn't prepared for the backlash she would receive when her post went viral. Wait till you see how the story ends.
Meet The "Old-Fashioned" Kayla
This the woman who shared a tweet explaining what kind of wife she would be and how she was raised.
She is a young woman from Texas, who loves a good selfie and is an active Twitter user.
The Tweet That Started It All
This is the tweet that caused outrage on Twitter. In describing the kind of wife she'll be, she lists stereotypical housewife duties.
She wants to be the kind of wife who cooks every night, does her man's laundry, wakes up first to make sure he goes to work, and spends the day cleaning while he's away. She calls it "old-fashioned," but it basically describes the life of a housewife in the '50s.
Twitter Cringed In Response
As can be expected, many women cringed at the thought of being the kind of wife that lives to cater to her man.
They blamed the ideology itself that once held women back without any rights and caused toxic relationships, bad marriages, and worse parenting.
They Argue Love Should Be An Equal Give And Take
Some users argued back that a marriage should be an equal partnership, with mutual give and take. Kayla describes a relationship where she does all the giving, with her husband's only role is to be the financial provider.
Some users even thought this would be problematic if Kayla were to have her own daughters.
The Risk Could Be Losing Identity And Independence
Some women tried to remind Kayla of the consequences of being limited to a housewife's role. This would prevent her from having any of her own time to engage in her own independent activities and hobbies.
This eventually could lead to her being stripped of any identity that isn't tied to being someone's wife.
Men Shouldn't Need A Second Mother
Men are grown enough that they should be able to take care of themselves. If they can't cook and clean for themselves then what are they doing entering a marriage?
Many people in the replies argued that men already had one mother, and they're supposed to grow out of needing her to do everything for them.
This Could Be The Origin Of The Man-Child
Women often complain of men's childish behavior, unreliability, and inability to "grow up" then wonder why. In reality, it's often because we let them.
We as women pick up the slack for them so they realize that if they don't do it, it's fine because someone else is bound to.
Kayla Didn't Mention The Husband's Role
What many forgot when commenting is that Kayla's only mentioning her part in the relationship. That doesn't mean that she doesn't have any standards or expectations of her husband as well.
They may just be different from the ones we expect today. Which is fair, after all, to each their own.
Some Even Accused Her Of Faking The Tweet For Attention
Some assumed that based on the way Kayla presents herself, she's not actually single, and possibly doesn't actually feel this way.
They said she's doing it for "clout," which is the fancy way kids these days express that she's just doing it for attention to increase her social media following.
But Some Supported And Even Agreed With Kayla
There's always the flip side of the coin, and for many, Kayla's words rang true for them too. They actually were glad that a fellow young woman was normalizing wanting this lifestyle.
Some women felt like they were discouraged from wanting to be a housewife even though it's what made them happy.
It's A Case by Case Basis
Then there were the people who could see and understand both sides. In reality, there's never going to be one lifestyle that pleases everybody. It all comes down to individual needs in the relationship.
It depends on whether both parties feel like they're receiving equal effort in the ways that their love languages require it.
It's The Way Kayla Was Raised
We are often the product of our upbringing, so whether Kayla's values are right or wrong, what should matter is that they feel right for her.
This is probably how she saw her parents' marriage, and if they seemed happy to her, why wouldn't she want the same for herself?
Up To You To Decide
In true feminist fashion, what kind of relationship and life you want should ultimately be your choice.
If that means staying home to cook and clean, or working two jobs and never even getting married, shouldn't that be up to you with no judgment?
She Got Her Man After All
As for Kayla, it didn't matter what all those people had to say because not even two years later, and she found the man of her dreams.
Now she gets to be whatever kind of wife her heart desires as long as it makes both of them happy.
And A Baby To Go With It
A new husband wasn't the only change in Kayla's life, she also gave birth to a healthy baby boy just one month following the proposal.
Her Twitter indicates that she's the happiest she's ever been, and the most full of love.
It's All Thanks To Twitter
This story goes to show that Twitter can be both the harshest critic but also a door to opportunity.
Kayla may have experienced a ton of backlash when she posted her initial status, but it's the very same platform that led to a DM that changed the course of her life and brought her the man she could be that wife to. The universe is funny that way!
While Everything Worked Out Well For Kayla, That Isn't Always The Case When It Comes To These Views
It's completely fine for Kayla to want to be that kind of wife if she wants to be. Everyone should be able to make their own decisions.
But, what happens when an outside source, someone like a pastor, starts telling people that there is a certain standard that women need to uphold?
A Pastor Is Making Waves On Social Media With A Controversial Sermon
The sermon has been posted on both Twitter and Facebook, and it's shocking.
For the most part, people are shocked that someone is getting away with preaching this kind of hate, but there are people in the world who internalize this kind of teaching and will follow it.
Reagan Williams, Who Posted The Whole Sermon On Her Facebook, Raised Some Important Points
"He goes on to blame women for the actions of men and says it is of God and it should be accepted as normal. Instead of teaching men and boys to take accountability for their actions and control themselves, he degrades women, victim blames and points the finger at their mere existence.
He says that lusting after other women in a relationship or marriage is acceptable if you are not perfectly up to par with the man's expectations and implies you should be blamed if the man cheats or fails you. He objectifies women, antagonizes them, and practices sexism, all while acting like it’s hip or cool."
Williams Says It's A Good Thing He No Longer Practices Marital Counseling
"He also claims your looks should be only of what the man wants and you should have zero bodily autonomy and zero individuality which is abusive and controlling.
He states he no longer practices marital counseling which is a good thing. He should not be in that kind of space with his toxic and damaging ideology. Honestly, he should not be a preacher either."
Her Final Point Is That This Sermon Is Distressing For Those Who Know Better
"This is one example of the abuse in churches and religion that is still practiced today. It shouldn't be swept under the rug.
It’s disgraceful and embarrassing and disheartening to those who know better."
Naturally, Twitter Had Some Opinions, Too
Twitter was quick to try and take this pastor down a peg or two.
Of course, it had to be said that this was a classic white guy thinking he's the all-powerful point of view.
He Obviously Knows What He's Talking About
Why is it that this guy thinks he has any credibility to tell women they're ugly and shouldn't be "butch"?
Just because you're a man doesn't mean your opinion is correct or valid.
Maybe It Makes Him Feel Powerful?
People on Twitter were saying that this might be the only way men like this can get a girl - by making them feel bad enough about themselves that they don't think they deserve better.
This is, in itself, a self burn to the people who do this.
Who Is He To Talk Anyway?
It's not like he's some great catch himself.
You can tell by the way he's holding himself that he thinks he's a catch, but he's not. I don't want to stoop to his level, so I will leave it at that.
Some People Obviously Supported His Message
This sermon is just a tiny part of a bigger problem in the world.
Sharing these kinds of ideas with the world is dangerous. Some people will listen and believe that it's true.
He Has No Right To Tell People Not To Look Butch
He has no right to tell people they look butch for many reasons, but a big one is that he's failing to see that he's a pretty butch-looking man.
Has he seen himself in a mirror?
Wonder Woman Would Not Be Pleased
The irony of him wearing a Wonder Woman shirt was not lost on the people in the comments.
There is no chance that Wonder Woman would think that this sermon was appropriate.
The Good News Is The Pastor Got In Trouble
A press release said that he has stepped down from his role as pastor in his church.
The church went on to say that his sermon does not align with their values and beliefs.
He's Said He Will Get Counseling
The big question here is whether the church would have taken this stand if the video hadn't gone viral.
It would be nice to think that they would look at this as toxic, but this kind of thinking is so ingrained in some people that they build their lives around it.
